Brace For Impact
by IHoldWithThoseWhoFavorFire
Summary: What makes someone feel? Why would they want to? Elena's humanity is off, Damon struggles to help her, but maybe she's not the one they should be worried about. Sacrifices are made, grudges are held, and plots are set in motion that threaten to destroy Mystic Falls completely. Some things just can't be taken back. Post-4x15
1. Without a Care

**This is a continuation post-4x15 Delena with plot.**

**If you are at all interested, I'd really appreciate feedback of any kind. Thank you.**

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_**Brace For Impact**_

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**Without a Care**

**Prologue:**

The sun filtered through the poorly drawn curtains casting the room in a cheerful glow that belied the real feelings inside of it. Give it another hour and the light would directly hit Elena's face, but it did not matter. She was already awake. She had been for a while now.

Jeremy's memorial was today. Elena knew she should be curled up catatonic with pain right now, but she wasn't. Not having her humanity was such a strange feeling. It was almost as if she were braced for an impact that never came. And the surprise at being spared was almost more than the fear that the collision would catch her with her guard down. However, she kept herself protected, waiting on bated breath for the crash. She did not trust that it would not hit her eventually.

She knew by now that her luck was not that good.

Not having the survivor's guilt and crippling loss that plagued her since her parents' death was a welcome change, but it did not mean Elena was truly free of any feeling. There was a tickling awareness in the back of her mind. It was like knowing you had forgotten something; you wracked your brain until you were dizzy with the obsession of remembering and felt the answer on the tip of your tongue only to have it disappear without a trace. Elena knew she should feel more and had a brief sensation of fear that the agony would return, but it was detached and distant. She almost felt as if she were watching someone else's life unfold tragically with a sort of clinical interest but no emotional investment. Almost.

She could hear the voices downstairs, arguing loudly about her. It was irritating. She lost her humanity, not her vampire senses. She sighed loudly, stripped herself of her clothes, and slipped quietly into Damon's bedroom amidst the noise.

She was still annoyed with him for last night. He adamantly refused to share a room with her last night. He obviously knew she had no interest in just going to sleep. She did not know what was his problem. They had slept together before, recently, and even if they hadn't, it's not as if he didn't make a habit of engaging in meaningless sex with countless women. She shrugged off any lingering irritation, _it's not as if he'll be able to keep it up anyway, _she thought, _self-control is hardly his strong suit_.

Her feet felt cold pressed against the tiled floor. She stepped into the shower and sighed contently as the warm water hit her face.

"We have to do something!"

Caroline's shrieking was getting to him. It was bad enough that he normally spent more time than he wanted listening to her, but now she was showering in his house. He walked over to the drink cart to pour himself a glass.

"This is _so_ not okay!"

Other people might find drinking bourbon at 7 a.m. a cry for help, but Damon felt it suited his life just fine. He glanced at the still screaming girl. Her hands gestured wildly as if people were confused what "this" referred to and that would explain it. Her pink robe was pulled tightly against her, and she was waving a matching colored loofah as she spoke.

"It's bad enough that Bonnie's dad is like going all psycho parent on her. He's determined to drive her and me crazy as if he has a right. Like where has he been the last 18 years?"

That was not a bad point. Damon should probably talk to the new mayor. At least to just get him to remove the vervain from the water supply, so maybe Caroline could return to showering at her own house.

"And we don't have nearly enough people on our team anymore!"

Maybe he should bring Liz along to smooth it over. She liked him. Usually. And the last thing this town needed was another mysterious death. Carol had just passed away, too.

"With Tyler gone and Jeremy… you know, we need to regroup. We need everyone. And that means we need to get through to Elena. We can't afford to fall apart now, we have too many problems already!"

But maybe just killing Mayor Obnoxious Pain in the Ass would be better for everyone. He did not think the guy would come around like Liz and Carol, he was not as tied to the things that go bump in the night as them. He could not count on him seeing Bonnie as one of the supernatural creepy crawlies anyway. Not when Judgy could still shower without a fancy water filter.

"Not to mention Bonnie has totally lost it."

Even if he did lump Bonnie with them, would it matter? If he judged by Bonnie's other parent, it did not bode well. The woman only lost the title of Mother of the Year to Esther. So maybe killing the guy was for the best.

"She thinks she can like raise every Esther, Kol, and Logan Fell on the Other Side and I'm like _no_. One time dealing with them was enough."

The obnoxiously colored loofah almost hit Damon in the face. He moved to the side at the last second. The thing would not hurt him, it would not even bother him, but he knew dodging it would annoy the blonde glaring at him which made it worth it.

"Seriously?! Damon, are you even listening?"

"Hmmm…?" he drawled even though he knew exactly what she had been saying. Stefan sighed from his seat on the couch. "Would you repeat what you said?"

Caroline made an exaggerated huffing noise and turned to him angrily. "This is all your fault anyway. You're the one who made Elena turn her humanity off!" Stefan sunk into the couch as if he wished to disappear. Damon found it strange that he was not chiming in his agreement. Maybe his brother really understood that this was the only option.

"Well, if you're so unhappy about it, I'd love to hear your alternative suggestions."

"Anything but what you did! She nearly killed someone the other day in history. I had to grab her and hold her down to stop her. And believe me, it wasn't easy. I think Ashley even noticed what was going on! That's just what we need, someone else to find out our secret when every water source in Mystic Falls has vervain in it. It's too dangerous to leave her like this."

"Well, then what did you want me to do when you said 'use the sire bond, Damon, help her?'" Damon imitated in a shrill voice. Caroline's face told him how much she appreciated the impersonation.

"We wanted you to use it take away the pain, not take away every emotion she has!"

"She's right, Damon," Stefan finally spoke up. Damon just glared at him, too.

"The sire bond doesn't work that way."

"Umm, obviously it does work that way or Elena would never have slept with you!"

Damon decided he had had enough of kiddie time. He did not respond to her as he gulped down his drink and hopped up the stairs. He could hear Caroline and his brother follow him determinedly but he just kept walking to his room.

Damon wondered if he would ever hear the end of that godforsaken sire bond. He swore every other word that left Blondie and his brother's mouths these days was "sire bond."

As he approached his bed, he heard the sound of dripping water but dismissed it as Caroline zeroed in on him. He braced himself for an argument that he was sure would wake up Elena down the hall.

"Look, Damon-" she abruptly cut herself off though as she stared behind him. Stefan also was fixated on the area where his bathroom. He felt he might know where this was going as he spun around to see what they were looking at.

Elena was toweling off her hair leisurely, in no rush as her naked body faced them. She made no effort to cover herself with the towel. She had apparently dried her hair to her liking and dropped the towel carelessly to the floor. She was staring at the three of them stoically.

"What? It's nothing you haven't seen before."

Damon had a brief flashback to when Katherine used his shower a year ago. But this was different. Katherine did it to get to him, she wanted to manipulate him, get under his skin, and probably sleep with him. Elena just could not work up the effort to hide herself from three people she knew had seen her completely exposed before. She was not trying to taunt them or seduce them.

Damon grimaced anyway. Caroline was purposely looking away as she bounced on her feet awkwardly. Stefan's eyes were narrowed as if he was caught between wanting to squint for a better look or shut his eyes to be a gentleman. Then, without a word, he made a decision and spun around. _Who says chivalry is dead?_ Damon thought as he looked pointedly at the ceiling.

"Well, nothing like a pretty lady naked in my room to start the day right," he said, ignoring Caroline flabbergasted face and Stefan's incredulous glare. He strode to the bathroom to grab another towel, not trusting himself to bed down to pick up the one at her feet. Because then he would be eyelevel with a certain part of her anatomy, which he was pretty sure would cause Caroline to really lose her shit. "But for the sake of my saintly brother's innocence, I think it'd be best if we kept this party rated PG."

He met her eyes and watched as a bead of water trailed down her cheek, her neck, her clavicle, and onto her-

He abruptly jerked up his gaze but Elena had seen it, he was sure. He held the fresh towel out to her, but she made no move to grab it. After a second of awkward silence where nobody moved, Damon reached around to wrap the towel around Elena himself. He took care to not brush her skin and he could tell Elena noticed. She stared up at him unabashedly, challenging him. He tried to secure the towel tightly but could not without guaranteeing that he would touch her breasts.

He sighed, resigned, and tried to tie it as clinically as possible. At that moment, Elena took a deep breath causing his fingers to lightly caress her left breast.

He stepped back and looked at the awkwardly horrified faces behind him and plastered on a fake smirk.

"I think it's time for the kiddies to run off to school, so why don't you chop chop and be on your way. You don't want to miss physics class!"

Stefan sent him a pointed glare and turned as if to leave when Elena swept past them all without a word. The towel fell uselessly as she intentionally knocked into his side, leaving them all staring at her bare ass.

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**Please tell me if I should continue. I've already written the climax to be honest; it's just a question if anyone's interested enough for me to write/post more.**


	2. Under Your Skin

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_The wise are so totally detached, pain is for those who are attached."_

**-**** Mohit K. Misra**

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**Under Your Skin**

**Chapter One:**

Elena looked out the window of the car dispassionately as Caroline prattled on. "Look, I'm just saying we should present an united front against the people conspiring against us- which is pretty much everyone- and in order to do that, we need to come together. That wasn't fair of you earlier with Stefan. You know how much you broke his heart."

If only the loss of humanity meant she also could lose the irritation that surged inside her. She found that despite flipping the switch, she still felt a lot of the more obnoxious things she did before. She was easily hungry, angry, horny, or irritated and those feelings consumed her most of the time. But the pain was gone, so she let go of that thought.

"Elena, you're my best friend and I'm worried about you. When you turn your humanity back on, it's going to be hard enough with everything, you know," Caroline stumbled awkwardly before recovering with her typical optimism. "So I want to make sure that when you are feeling again, you're not feeling guilty about what you did when you didn't." Caroline smiled sincerely if not a bit hesitantly.

But all Elena could think about was how stupid everything was. Caroline parked the car outside the doors to Mystic Falls' only high school. Caroline turned to her waiting on her response, but Elena just casually unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbed her bag and opened the car door.

"I guess I find it hard to care about Stefan's broken heart when I'm hours away from attending my brother's funeral." And with that Elena slammed the car door closed ignoring the way Caroline's face crumpled. It seemed strange to speak of Jeremy's death when she felt so detached. The tickling sensation returned whenever she thought of it but she easily brushed it aside and entered the building.

* * *

Damon had known what he was in for the second Stefan chose to "take care of some things first" instead of leaving with the girls. He briefly contemplated whether two glasses of bourbon was too excessive this early and then decided he did not give a fuck.

His relationship with Stefan was tentatively stable right now. They were balancing on a precipice and anything could topple them down. Damon didn't want to fight with his brother especially when his relationship with Elena was not what it used to be. Luckily, Stefan seemed to be trying just as hard to keep the peace.

"You shouldn't encourage her, Damon. What would she say if she were actually herself?"

Or maybe he was just keeping the peace in front of Elena and Caroline. Damon rolled his eyes. How was he encouraging Elena? And encouraging her to do what?

"Pray tell, brother, what should I have done? You should be thankful I swooped to cover her. I mean I could have just as easily not. Would you have preferred that?" He should not tease Stefan; his brother seemed to be losing his grip on himself. He was not worried about another Ripper appearance since Blondie seemed to be doing a good job stabilizing him. He had noticed that Stefan had been drinking blood bags for weeks without any mishaps. He wanted to help his brother, too, but Stefan did not want his help after everything that happened with Elena.

He brushed those thoughts aside. He knew what Stefan's problem was even if Stefan did not consciously know himself.

"Damon, be serious," Stefan pleaded. "Did you not see how she was acting earlier? She is acting like a completely different person, beyond the changes of vampirism or sire bonds."

_Ah, there's that phrase again _Damon thought. They almost made five minutes without the dreaded "S bond" coming up again.

"I'm worried. I think we should just make her turn her humanity back on."

"And then what?" Damon asked incredulously, "What's your big plan when she wants to kill herself, superhero?" He paused for a moment and then continued before Stefan had a chance to speak. "Though I suppose we should just let her off herself. It'd be her _choice _after all, and we should _respect_ that."

"We'll deal with the fallout," Stefan said confidently, ignoring the jab. Damon wished he could share his idealism but reality always crept back in. And the reality was that Elena could not handle losing seven familial figures in less than two years. It was remarkable she held it together for as long as she did. He worried that even if they gave it years, Elena would never be able to handle the pain. He knew he was not enough for her right now, but he worried nothing and no one would ever be enough for her again.

"Anything is better than what is going on now," Stefan continued oblivious to the path his thoughts had taken.

"Really, Stef? Elena being suicidal is 'better'?" Damon was just waiting for the real reason to come tumbling out of Stefan's lips. If he just waited patiently, Stefan would say it.

"We can't be sure that's how she would react. She's had some time to process." _Yeah, a week to grasp the loss of the person she loves most in the world, that's enough time _Damon though sarcastically. Stefan was grasping at straws and Damon thought even he knew it. "We can't possibly leave her like this."

Fuck it, he never liked patience anyway. "Why? We've kept her from killing anyone, and compulsion is impossible thanks Mister Mayor: Overprotective Dad Edition. What was so wrong with her behavior earlier? We've seen worse- hell, we've done worse. So what's really the problem?"

Stefan was looking at him stunned, but his expression quickly turned disgusted. "Really, Damon, don't tell me you actually prefer her acting like this. She's behaving like Katherine!"

And there it was. If there were anything that Stefan truly feared about Elena, it was not that she could not love him after what he did to her during his ripper binge. It was not even that he worried she had actually fallen out of love with him. Elena acting anything like Katherine was his worst nightmare realized for Stefan.

"Well…" Damon trailed off and waggled his eyebrows suggestively just to get to him.

But Stefan remained clueless to what he had just revealed. And since he looked genuinely terrified that Damon actually preferred Elena the way she was currently, he took pity on him. After all, in Stefan's mind, Damon could control Elena- sire bond mater that he was- and ensure she was without her humanity for all eternity.

"Relax, Stef," he drawled with the appropriate amount dramatization to get Stefan to stop looking at him as he just revealed Christmas had been cancelled.

Stefan immediately reverted to his default mode of beleaguered brother as if the doubt that Damon wanted Elena not to have her humanity had never been there. His forehead lines became more pronounced as he looked at Damon seriously.

"Time has passed, maybe we should just test it. She may be better by now, and Caroline's right. Elena without her humanity is a danger. If she doesn't care about anything, we can't predict what she will do. What happens if she decides to expose herself and all of us while Mayor Hopkins is on his mission? We can't even trust Bonnie to help right now." Stefan was right. Despite his own personal reasons that impacted his suggestion, Stefan, and Caroline, had a valid point. Things could easily get worse even when it seemed impossible.

"Okay, we can test it but only after Jeremy's funeral." Stefan looked relieved but Damon could not help but think that something was sure to go wrong.

But who knows? Maybe he should share his brother's optimism. After 148 years of being shitty, his luck was bound to turn around, right?

_Yeah, unlikely. _

* * *

The stares followed her throughout the hallways. She could feel them as she made a beeline towards her locker but she could not bring herself to care. One gaze, however, caused her to look up.

Rebekah's eyes were leveled on her in assessment for a moment before she grabbed April's arm to drag her to English. April glanced over her shoulder with the more typical, sympathetic look. Elena idly wondered why she bothered, it was not as if April had not helped put Caroline, Stefan and her in a life or death situation two weeks ago.

But perhaps it was because she had genuinely cared for Jeremy. The thought caused goosebumps to break out over Elena's skin but she studiously ignored the reaction and gathered her books.

She turned towards her next class' direction only to find herself face to face with the person she had been ignored more than anyone. "Bonnie."

"Elena, you have to stop the memorial. If you let it happen, how can Jeremy resume his life when I bring him back? They will think he is dead."

"He is dead," Elena stated matter of factly. The goosebumps had increased and the tinkling sensation was back with a vengeance. Elena ruthlessly squashed them.

"Well, obviously he is at the moment," Bonnie said with a careless laugh and Elena noticed for the first time the dark circles under her eyes. Her cheekbones seemed more pronounced as well though it had only been days since Elena had last seen her. This was her best friend; Elena knew that she should feel more concerned over Bonnie's obvious issues. But she did not, so she brushed the thought away.

"So we're in agreement, good," and then Elena sped away before Bonnie could mutter a protest. And every step away from Bonnie caused the tingles to fade until they were nothing more than a memory.

Elena did not like to be around them. Any of them. When she was with the people she knew she should care about, it was harder to concentrate. She felt the welcome numbness start to slip away but also a creeping sensation as if she were being watched. As if she were watching herself from the outside.

It was bad around Caroline and Stefan but if she focused, she could channel the feeling into irritation at their meddling and judgment. Before she could accept that it was only out of love that they acted that way. Now she just found it annoying. Who were they to decide what she could or could not do with her life? If she wanted to kill someone, who were they to judge? They had killed more people than she had. And surely Stefan was not the right person to decide what was morally acceptable. If they all went by his standards, the whole town would be ripped into pieces by now.

She ignored the pang in the back of her consciousness that stated she was being unfair, that Stefan did try, that Caroline wanted what was best for her. They were useless thoughts for hypercritical people.

It was worse around Bonnie and Matt. They were the ones closest to him. And they were the ones who seemed more fixated on him than her. Matt was a tirelessly devoted friend but he stepped back when he found out her humanity had been turned off, out of his element. He still tried but there was a distant feeling that for once she knew was not because of her. Bonnie was zealously determined the bring down the Other Side and though Elena was not as perturbed at the thought as she was a week ago, she knew better than to think all their enemies coming back to life would be anything less than disastrous. At first, she was ambivalent as to whether or not that mattered to her. She decided she cared enough to not want that. And Bonnie's relentless talking about it bothered her anyway.

The worst by far was Damon. If she was bothered by the fact that he always got under her skin before, now she was irate over it. He would not stop bothering her even as he did nothing.

That was why she kept coming on to him. A part of her was hesitant to fuck someone else, it caused her to feel uncomfortable just thinking about it. But she wanted to sleep with someone and it was stupid to care about that anyway.

And the more she thought about it, the more irritated she became. Why should she care? They were not even dating now- if they even had been before everything that had happened- judging by the way he treated her. The way he tried to avoid touching her this morning was ridiculous. As if he had never touched her, as if he had not touched thousands of girls. She never imagined a year ago that one of her problems would be a too prudish Damon. Elena snorted to herself as she entered the classroom.

That was the other thing that bothered her. What was his problem? Why did he suddenly get to act as if sleeping with her was wrong or dirty? He thrived in the dirty and wrong. Elena wanted to make a home for herself there, too, and who was he to disagree?

She wanted to make him snap though. She wanted to get to him the way he got to her. She knew she could affect him, she had seen it, he had admitted it, and she had even used it sometimes to get her way before. Elena could just invoke his feelings for her. And if that plan made unease and discomfort roil her stomach, she swept it away almost effortlessly.

She would just have to get under his skin, too. And she was going to.

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**Don't worry; the action and plot are going to pick up.**

**If it's not too much trouble, I'd love to know if anyone's really liking this. It's my first foray into fanfiction and I don't know if I have any talent at writing. A simple "yes" or "continue" would mean the world to me. Thanks. Hope you enjoyed it.**


	3. And Gone

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it."_

**-Lemony Snicket**

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**And Gone**

**Chapter Two:**

The wooden seat was uncomfortable and stiff. Elena could not stop shifting her weight. She was bored and wanted to leave.

"Losing someone you love is never easy, but when they are forced to leave this world so young, it is all the more difficult for us to accept they have ascended to Heaven. "

"Heaven." Is that what they were calling the Other Side, now? Because last she checked, it was not a peaceful paradise.

"We must remember the good times Jeremy gave us in the wake of his loss."

Elena kept getting distracted. She knew she should make an effort to pay attention. She should at least conjure some emotion for the people she could sense staring at her intently. They were waiting for her to break, but they were waiting on nothing.

_Poor little Elena Gilbert, two years go by and she somehow manages to lose every member or her family, adoptive, biological and unrelated in any official capacity, _Elena thought sardonically. Because that is what they were thinking, she could tell. The way they waited on bated breath to see her fall apart as opposed to listening to the preacher waxing poetical on her brother's tragically short life.

The thought of their disappointment caused a slight smile to quirk her lips, which was quickly wiped away by a sharp jab. She turned towards the source of the blow but Damon refused to face her. She knew he had been watching her though, otherwise he would have missed the movement that caused him to rebuff her in the first place.

She did not know why it mattered if people sensed something was amiss with her behavior. They would dismiss it as a girl who was too traumatized to function normally. If they did manage to discover the true nature of her abnormal conduct, she failed to see how that would really be so bad. She was confident that she could take on every one of these powerless people alone. And she knew that there were several people in the room that would never leave her to face them by herself anyway. Bonnie might even encourage it to get herself the third necessary sacrifice.

She sensed Caroline move on her right move to take her hand before quickly withdrawing. It was almost as if she had forgotten that Elena did not care anymore. Elena did not see how she could be so ridiculous but then she noticed Caroline's expression. Her eyes were red and she was fidgeting. For the first time in the week since returning from the island, Elena realized that Caroline was going through a lot, too. She had lost her three constant pillars of support, Tyler, Elena, and Bonnie.

The tickling sensation was creeping upon her again though so she turned away.

"Jeremy possessed such talent and enthusiasm. He was artistic, kind hearted, and friendly to all who had the fortune to meet him. His passion touched all those around him."

Pastor Rhett Brown did not know Jeremy at all. He was just the poor sap that Bonnie's dad called in to replace the ill-fated Pastor Young. Elena found that funny since Mystic Falls' administration had never attempted to replace the sizable number of deceased before. But she supposed a pastor was useful to the community while people like Aimee Bradley and Ben McKittrick are easily forgotten and not even worth the effort it would take to find a substitute for them.

She supposed that most of the people in the room thought the same of Jeremy. Not even worth the effort it would take to replace him. Not even worth it.

Worthless. Pointless. Forgotten. And gone.

The tickling sensation was no longer bothersome, it was overwhelming and consuming and she felt. But she did not want to feel, so she stopped thinking of such useless things anyway.

Damon was sitting to the left of her. She decided she would rather study him them listen to the pastor who does not even know what or who he is talking about.

Damon's features were gorgeous. He was the most striking person she had ever seen. But his face was drawn in such a way that belied to carefully constructed casualness he usually conducted himself in. Elena had always known that Damon cared more than he let on, cared more than he wanted to, and she knew he had cared about Jeremy. She hoped Jeremy had known, too. She liked to think he did.

And if something stirred within her that was not painful or angry or sad as she watched him, and if she chose not to ignore the feeling, then that was something she would never admit.

* * *

Caroline was elated when Stefan told her. He did not see why Little Miss Sunshine was getting her hopes up, Elena was not ready. If he had been optimistic before, the service had definitely relieved him of that stupidity.

He had been watching her carefully for fear that she would do something to indicate that she was behaving unnaturally, or worse, that the switch was malfunctioning.

He knew the drill. He spent decades without his humanity and assumed that it would always be gone unless he wanted it. He was wrong.

The switch was like a drug. You took it and felt better, repeated the action over and over again until it was routine. Then suddenly something rudely brings you out of your delusion. It stops feeling better, the drug refuses to work, and everything you have fought so hard returns with fury at being denied so long.

Anything can trigger the switch's crash. For him, it was a sixteen-year-old girl who had the audacity _the heart _to care enough to ask a stranger what he wanted in life. He fought the losing battle for months but it was a foregone conclusion from the second she opened her mouth.

She had started the service detached to such a degree that she started smiling but that had changed. He was not sure what caused it but one moment Elena was bored and the next she was rigid. Her breathing picked up subtly, her heartbeat accelerated slightly, and her muscles locked in place.

He was about to reach out to her as if that would help when she shifted to stare at him intently. The rest of the service passed and all she did was look at him. No more problems arose but Damon had seen enough to know.

"This is really for the best, she just needed this week as a vacation from everything. She will be sad of course but then we will fix this. I can make the spinach casserole I made when her parents died. It helped her a lot then and we can manage everything now. With lists and plans, we can do this."

"And afterwards we can scour the town for Hallmark cards that read 'I'm sorry your crazy slut of a doppelganger murdered your last family in cold blood' and 'my condolences that the family magical ring stopped working just in time to allow your brother to die.'"

"You're horrible! What is wrong with you?"

"You're right, we'll never find the perfect card from Hallmark. We should just write it ourselves."

"Damon, stop." He turned to look at his brother's pained face. Caroline eyes had begun to well up with tears but he could not bring himself to feel bad.

"You need to stop deluding yourselves. She's not ready and forcing it will only make it worse for everyone. What we need to be doing is focusing on the new mayor who is trying to remove the welcome matt from beneath our feet while his daughter, Sabrina the teenage witch, is on extended leave from the loony bin. Acting like children clinging to idealistic idiocy is not useful."

"You agreed to test it," Stefan was adamant, which means it would only result in a fight if he did not concede. Kicking Stefan's ass would greatly improve his mood. But with Elena's new temperament and the fact that one hundred percent of his friends were reclining six feet under a poorly marked gravestone, Damon knew isolating himself from Vampire Barbie and his brother could only end poorly.

And unless he wanted to start slumming it in terms of company with the likes of the Quarterback or Bonnie, who was behaving like McMurphy post-lobotomy in terms of useful contributions, he would give on this one.

It would be their own fault when their hopes shattered and maybe they would finally listen to him afterwards. _Unlikely,_ he thought. But he could not destroy the desire to protect them and it caused him to want to stop what he knew was coming.

* * *

When Elena opened the door to the Salvatore boarding house and saw the three of them waiting for her in the parlor, she knew something was going on. Damon's back was facing her as he fixed himself a drink and while that was usually a good view, she could not enjoy it with Caroline and Stefan's expressions. Caroline was smiling hopefully and Stefan appeared to be eagerly watching her for something.

Immediately she turned to leave only to run right into Damon. "Hold on a second, Speedy Gonzales, where are you off to so quickly?" He was waggling his finger at her and wriggling his eyebrows but she could see through him. She always could. And he was tense, there was strain in the awkward way he was moving, which only told her to go now.

Without a word, she spun around but his hand shot out and clasped onto her upper arm. Yanked back, she fell flushed against him for a second, which caused the tension in his posture to become more pronounced. She remembered her plan from earlier that day but before she could consider acting on it, Stefan was speaking.

"Elena, we're going to try something." She froze. _No, they wouldn't_. She looked up waiting for Damon's refusal but he was studiously avoiding eye contact. His gaze was fixated on his brother.

She did not understand. This was not something he would agree to. He always valued results over ethics, why would that change now? Figures he would decide to become a celibate Good Samaritan when she wanted the depraved Casanova.

"Damon," Stefan called.

Damon's face had lost his smirk as he turned to her. His hand slid down from her upper arm to her hand to hold it in a secure grasp. She tried to shrug him off. She did not want his pity and comfort when he was rejecting her advances. And she certainly did not want it now when he was so fully betraying her.

"Elena," Damon began pained, "I know I said for you to turn it off, that it was okay." He did and now he was taking it back. Rage and a trickle of fear swelled within Elena. She had to get out, they could not do this to her. But Damon's grip was unyielding. "But I think now that you should turn it on."

There was a pause as everyone waited on something. Then Damon continued, "That would make me happy. It is what I want."

Elena remembered how the sire bond felt. Before she knew about it, she felt a tug to do certain things Damon said. And then her body complied and her brain would provide her reasons for why she had done it. After she discovered she had been sired, it was no longer unnoticeable. It was still subtle but now she knew the actions were not her own. She could feel the forced inclination to follow the order and she would be aware that it was not what she wanted.

"No, I won't." Right now she processed the order but felt no accompanying impulse to do as he said. There was nothing and she sure as hell was not going to listen to this any longer. "And you can't make me."

With that, she tore her hand from Damon's hold. He seemed more openly uncertain at the unfolding events.

"Elena-" Stefan began before she fixed him with glare that made him halt. She wanted him to feel her anger, her hatred. He deserved it. They all did. How dare they? She sneered at his wounded face. _Hypocrite. _

"No, screw you all of you. You two," she indicates with her hand towards Stefan and Damon, "Spent decades with your humanity off. You don't get to say I can't keep mine off.

"And you," reeling on Caroline, "Just because Tyler left you and Bonnie isn't there for you now doesn't mean you have any right to control my life for your selfish need for comfort."

"Elena, I'm just trying to help you!" Caroline protested.

"No, you're just trying to help Stefan. Isn't that all you do lately? Protect poor Stefan?" Stefan's face got even more pathetic if possible. Damon had recovered and was now looking at her in assessment.

"What? Elena, I have only been trying to help you!"

"Yeah, and when you betrayed my trust after I explicitly asked you to let me tell Stefan about Damon and me, when you promised me you would, that was for me, right? That was because you wanted to help me of course," Elena was getting incensed. She felt the freedom to say exactly what she thought. They could not stop her. If they were going to judge her, well, she did not need them then.

Caroline looked hurt but Elena did not care. And without even bothering to see Damon and Stefan's reactions, she blurred out the still open front door.

* * *

"Well, that went well. What's the Plan B, hero squad?"

"What just happened? What did you do, Damon? You agreed to try, why would you screw it up?" For once, Damon could tell that Caroline was not actually blaming him as she panicked. He could see Elena's words had gotten to her. For the first time, since she turned, Damon thought she looked small and fragile. She was wringing her hands obsessively as she watched Stefan pace back and forth in the room.

Damon threw her a smirk anyway to hide his own unease, "Don't look at me, Barbie. But shouldn't you be overjoyed? The oh-so-terrible sire bond seems to have vanished into thin air. Ta-da!" He gestured with one hand towards the front door Elena had just walked out of.

Stefan and Caroline did not even grace him with an irritated glance. And Damon was not inclined to keep the act up with no audience, so he approached the drink cart to pour himself another glass.

Truthfully, Damon was concerned. Without the sire bond, it was very likely that Elena would never want to turn her humanity back on. It would come back anyway even if she did not want it to, but what she if she just up and leaves before it does. What if she is miles away when it flicks on and she realizes that she has killed people, realizes that she is alone and just gives up. They cannot control a vampire without their humanity if the sire bond is out of play.

Stefan abruptly stopped pacing and turned to him. "Wait, Damon, her humanity is turned off."

"Really, I hadn't noticed."

"Which means she doesn't have her emotions right now."

"Oh, how astute brother. You missed your calling as Sherlock Holmes."

"But that's it!" Stefan seemed both excited and terrified at his realization. Damon shot a look at Caroline but she seemed just as lost as he was.

"Stefan," Caroline called hesitantly, "What's what?"

"When Damon and I left to investigate the sire bond, we went down to New Orleans where we met a witch. She told us the origin of vampire sire bonds."

"Okay…" Caroline said slowly but Damon had a sickening feeling he knew where Stefan was going.

"She said that vampire sire bonds only occur when the vampire sired has 'human feelings' for the vampire whose blood turned them."

At Caroline's dawning look of comprehension, Stefan finished, "I guess no feelings, no bond."

There was no reason Damon should feel like someone sucker punched him. But to hear and see the proof that Elena no longer cared for him hurt more than he would admit. He knew she likely did not really love him anyway but she had always cared for him on some level. Now, that was just gone. It was heartbreaking but Damon did not like to swell on heartbreak. It had never served him well before.

"So wait," Caroline looked up as she finally caught up to the implications of the situation, "How are we going to make her to turn her humanity back on then?"

"We're not going to make her do anything, we have to get her to want to turn it back on," Stefan admitted.

"Right because every eighteen year old recently turned vampire who has lost every family member she had would just _kill_ for the chance to experience that magnified pain." He let the hopelessness of that plan sink in their idealistic brains.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that."

* * *

**I hope I'm doing okay. I've elected to do shorter chapters initially with frequent updates to get the ball rolling and then proceed to chapters at least doubled this length more likely on a weekly basis when the real plot gets going. If you have any suggestions, comments, concerns, preferences, please hit me up in a review.**


	4. Burnt Bridges

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_I demolish my bridges behind me - then there is no choice but forward." _

**-Fridtjof Nansen**

* * *

**Burnt Bridges **

**Chapter Three:**

Damon banged impatiently on the door. Of all the stupid vampire rules, he hated this one the most. The ultimate predator, nature's abomination, and he had to be invited into homes? What kind of logic was that? If the spirits actually wanted to give his prey a fighting chance when they witchy juju-ed this, then they are even stupider than he thought. He could think of a hundred less useless ideas to tip the scales in humanity's favor that did not include a permanent invitation requirement usually given by dumbasses whose only knowledge of vampires came from Bela Lugosi.

But if he knew the witchy spirits, they really did not care about all that anyway. Judgy, hypocritical, little things.

The man who finally opened the door towered over him. He crossed his arms, safely within the confines of the house, his face set into grim lines. He appeared to be trying to intimidate him.

Clearly he had never heard of Damon Salvatore.

Damon smirked amusedly, "Hi there. We haven't met. I'm Damon Salvatore. And I've come to kindly request you take your poison out of my water supply. If you don't feel inclined do so, I would love to introduce you to the joys of having your flesh sizzle under an acid-like substance."

There- he compromised just like Stefan had begged him to. He would wait and see if killing him was really necessary. He could be reasonable. And his brother said he was too prone to violence.

Unfortunately, Mayor Rudy Hopkins did not look as grateful as he should have. In fact, his disposition had only worsened at Damon's words. Damon sighed. _Well, I tried_.

But before he could contemplate what method to utilize to get Mayor Mind Your Own Business out past the house's threshold, his frenzied daughter came into sight behind him.

"Damon!" Bonnie exclaimed upon seeing him with far more enthusiasm than she should considering he had just been plotting the demise of her father. "Finally someone to talk to about the plans for Silas." Damon could not stop the grimace working its way onto his face. "I've been waiting for you to return to help me drop the veil between her and the Other Side. But you and everyone else stopped picking up the phone."

Damon felt a twinge of remorse. With Elena's humanity off, Caroline concerned with her own problems, Jeremy dead, Stefan focused on Elena, and Busboy doing God knows what, everyone just forgot about her. But how was he supposed to know to help her out? He usually is not the one to deal with feelings. His job was simple; he killed, tortured or planned, he did not hold hands or tuck people in bed at night.

He opened his mouth to quip about how touched he was that she missed him to add some sort of normalcy to the situation, when it seemed to occur to Bonnie where they were standing.

"What are you doing out there? Come in," she encouraged casually, as if she had not just welcomed a self-admitted mass murderer into her house.

Damon looked at her as if she sprouted another head. _Well, at least now I can be sure Blondie wasn't exaggerating when she said she had only gotten worse. Yippee, _Damon thought.

At least Mister Mayor looked appropriately horrified.

But Bonnie kept barreling on. "We need to pick the twelve candidates for the sacrifice. I'd prefer they were supernatural, so when I drop the veil, they will come back with Grams and Jeremy. Of course, if we can't find them, I understand that sacrifices must be made for the greater good."

"Look, Broom-Hilda," Damon tried to reason as he brushed past the understandably alarmed man frozen in the doorway, "How do you even know you can do this or where to begin?"

"Shane is helping me still. He's guiding me through the process." _Yeah, because Professor Creepy's guidance has really served everyone well in the past,_ Damon thought sarcastically.

"Shouldn't he be more skeptical? I mean he raised Silas and now has to do more work to get his wife and kid back. And is his son even on the Other Side anyway? Maybe you and Dr. Frankenstein should accept you can't raise the dead."

Bonnie looked at him patiently, like a teacher humoring her ignorant kid student. "Damon, you should have seen it. Silas _has_ already started to reward those loyal to him. He healed Shane's leg that was crushed by debris. I saw the injury myself, it could have been fatal but Silas fixed it!"

"Okay, but I could do that by giving myself a paper cut." Bonnie looked unconvinced so he continued, "And didn't we determine that Shane was a psych case who had no problems with using you as leverage. You're going to trust this guy? _Again_?"

"Don't you see, Damon? Shane was right all along. Sacrifices are necessary; this is necessary. We've gone too far and lost too much- only Silas can save us now." Whatever his face showed her was clearly not what she was hoping. She geared up for another rant when the man he had originally come to see before all this nonsense finally interjected.

"So what are you saying? That you would let that sacrifice be you? Absolutely not, you are not doing this."

"You can't tell what to do anymore, Dad! You gave up that right when you chose not to be a part of my life!"

The words were so normal but the subject was anything but. If Bonnie did this, not only would every enemy that they had ever killed return with a vendetta, but Damon did not like Bonnie's odds of surviving. And he could not help but remember Shane's words when he heard him first speak of Silas.

"_Now, it's said that Silas wants to rise again," Damon pauses, listening for a moment. "Regain his power, wreak havoc on the world." There was something off about that professor and if it had not been Elena's life and sanity on the line, he would not be going to him right now. But he had to, Elena was in danger and he had to help her. The Creepy Professor and his wives tales could wait for another time._

_Guess "another time" had finally arrived_, Damon thought. So Shane had said Silas wanted to bring back the dead but he had also said rumor has it that Silas wanted to bring about the end of the world. His recent experiences with rumors were that they were always at least partially true. Lycanthropes are real? Check. Werewolf bites kill vampires? Check. Klaus is more than just a bedtime story? Check. The Sun and the Moon curse exist and people want to break it? Check. Cure for vampirism? Check.

Yeah, he was more inclined to believe the end of the world bit than the savior who wants to reunite suckers with their dead loved ones.

Whatever, Silas and his apocalyptic schemes were not his problems. He had not seen or heard of the guy since their daring escape from Harper's Island. And he was more concerned with Elena, the sire bond disappearing the one time he actually wanted it, his psycho ex-girlfriend on the loose, and this.

The loving family was still yelling at each other but it had progressed to petty things like curfews and Damon did not have time for that shit. _It's a good thing I don't care to spare feelings because she's so far gone, she's beyond reasoning. _

"Bonnie, you can't trust Faust. The guy is crazy," Damon cut in bluntly. "You'll get yourself killed in the best case scenario," and since he was not above emotional manipulation, "And Jeremy and your Grams would never want that."

Unfortunately, her idiotic father had to add his two cents. "He's right but more importantly, I forbid it."

Damon rolled his eyes not even bothering to hide his annoyance. Why the hell would Mister Mayor think that would work? Predictably, Bonnie starting fuming. "Try and stop me."

She was halfway out the door despite her father's protests when she shouted back, "I'm going to meet Shane, we have work to do. When you start to see reason, Damon, you can join us!"

And with that hypocritical lunacy, she slammed the door shut in typical moody teenager fashion. It seemed like his cue to leave.

"Well, just remember that I know where you live, can get to you while you're sleeping and that I am very put out over your decision to have vervain in the water and we shouldn't have any more problems!" And on that cheerful note, Damon strolled out the door, whistling the whole way back to his car.

* * *

Elena walked into the Mystic Grill with an air about her that caused several patrons to look up. She felt their gazes and even noticed Matt looking in her direction from her peripheral vision but she had no time for that.

If they were not going to butt out of her life, she would not respect theirs. She plastered a fake smile onto her face with no difficulty and approached one of the biggest gossips in their grade.

"Hey Amanda!" The girl in question looked up from her game of pool. She seemed surprised. Maybe it was because Elena rarely spoke to anyone outside of Matt, Caroline, Stefan, and Bonnie at school anymore. Maybe it was because Elena's brother just died and Amanda thought that was a strange time to be smiling so beatifically at anyone.

"Hey, Elena. What's up?"

"Well, I forgot to tell everyone that I was having a big party tonight at the Salvatore house. And now I'm worried I won't be able to get word out quickly enough. I _really_ want people to be there." Elena had made sure to input enough whining in the last line to convey that this typical teenage concern was a big issue for her.

Any trace of trepidation was gone now. Amanda's eyes had lit up around "party" and she was practically bouncing with excitement by the time Elena had finished speaking.

"I would love to help! Don't worry, Elena, just leave it to me!"

"Great. See you at 8 then," Elena walked out of the Grill right afterwards, purposely ignoring Matt's attempt to grab her attention.

* * *

"Damon!"

_Dear lord, no, _Damon thought as Rebekah made a beeline for him. He was seconds from reaching car but now she was here and he would never be able to escape her. He just wanted to take a long bath, drink himself into a stupor and go to bed. Was that too much to ask on this incredibly crappy day?

He pointlessly reached to open the door to his Camaro anyway. In a blur, Rebekah was there shutting the door. Resigned, he turned around to face her.

"Hey there, Sexy Bex, what's got you in such a _mood_?" Damon drawled as he reclined against the car.

"Don't start, Damon. I just need you to give me a ride."

"A ride, to where? You can get wherever it is faster yourself."

"Why do you have to be such a caveman? You're already going to your house, right?" At Damon's hesitant nod, "And it would hardly been gentlemanly to force a lady to walk in these shoes."

Damon snorted and then paused when he realized something. "You're not coming to my house."

"I can go if I want to. And I'd love to see you try a stop me." Rebekah quickly strutted to the passenger side and let herself in. For a moment, Damon considered the merits of just walking home himself before he decided that he did not like the odds of his prized Camaro surviving Hurricane Rebekah. Surrendering, he got into the car without another word.

He got a minute of peace before Rebekah chose to ruin it.

"I can't believe you left me alone on the island. You have no sense of chivalry. What if something had happened to me?"

"Yes, because with Elena and Bonnie losing their minds, I should have been more concerned with the Original vampire stuck with the bound, injured hunter. Really?"

"It wasn't just him. That island gave me the creeps, I swear I felt Silas watching me."

"Oh god, not you, too! You seriously haven't learned to differentiate fables from reality in a thousand years, how is that possible? And here I thought it was only your love life where you had act like a moron." She could rip out his heart without blinking, but Damon still preferred to push her buttons. She was so easily riled up.

Her face pinched up in annoyance, before she relaxed it forcibly. "Who are you to criticize my love life?" Well, he had to admit she had a point there. "I think Silas is out there. The hunter showed me a mask that must have concealed his face. He was so sure that Silas has been revived and he pointed out none of us even know what Silas looks like! He could be anyone and anywhere or everyone and everyone for all we know! I'm just glad Shane died of some leg injury on the island because otherwise we would have to deal with that fanatic as well. But I bet Silas is already amassing forces to come and get us."

"Is that why you're insisting on going to my house? To discuss your paranoia? I know you were in a box for a while but there is something called a cell phone."

Any enjoyment he could have gotten from teasing her disappeared as he glanced at her face. She looked confused for a moment before bursting into laughter. He scowled. Past experience dictated anything that caused Barbie Klaus happiness spelled bad news for him.

"Oh, you'll see soon enough." That did not bode well. He was about to press the issue, too, when something suddenly occurred to him.

"Wait, what did you say about Shane?"

"Oh, that bastard got what he deserved if you ask me. I found him in a heap by the boats, one of his legs covered entirely with blood. Guess he must have crawled all the way there before the blood loss killed him. Tragic," She sighed, "It was such a waste of blood."

But Damon's thoughts had left the conversation behind. He was back hours ago at Bonnie's house.

"_Shane is helping me still. He's guiding me through the process."_

"_Damon, you should have seen it. Silas has already started to reward those loyal to him. He healed Shane's leg that was crushed by debris. I saw the injury myself, it could have been fatal but Silas fixed it!"_

"_I'm going to meet Shane, we have work to do. When you start to see reason, Damon, you can join us!"_

_Jesus fucking Christ, _Damon thought. Had Bonnie lost it so much that she was hallucinating? Had she taken over Jeremy's position as Ghost Whisperer?

Or, worst of all, were Rebekah's fears rational and Silas could be anyone anywhere?

He was starting to feel a little paranoid himself.

* * *

The Salvatore Boarding House was even more crowed now than it was for her eighteenth birthday. It was probably because Caroline selectively picked who could come while Amanda followed her instructions to tell everyone perfectly.

Elena had drank more in the last couple hours than she had ever before. Vampire tolerance was amazing. Before she turned, she would have been on the floor by now and even as a human she could drink most anyone under the table.

The only irritation was that she could not drink what she was really thirsty for. Whose dumb idea was it to fill everyone's water with vervain? She was thinking it might be time to change her venue. What ties did she have to Mystic Falls anymore?

She gyrated her hips against another boy from class. She had decided that she owed Damon nothing after his betrayal earlier today and she was ready to cast away any lingering hesitations about sleeping with someone else.

She was horny, Damon was being a self-righteous bastard and she did not care what anyone thought anyway. In fact, the biggest reason for her indecision right now was that she was sure none of these guys were going to measure up to Damon in bed.

She sighed, it could not be helped. She was pretty sure Matt had the most experience besides Tyler and she had already been there, done that.

* * *

In all the time he had known her, Damon had never seriously considered killing Elena. Sure, he liked to pretend in the beginning, but he would never have done it. He was reevaluating the intelligence of that right now.

His house was overrun with drunken, idiotic kids. Many of them had braces, acne, or unspeakable fashion sense. And they were wrecking his house. He twitched at the thought of the damage and mess they were making. He doubted Elena had been charitable enough to protect any the multitude of valuable, irreplaceable items.

Rebekah had started laughing again but did not care about her. Where was Elena?

He was prowling through the masses, scanning the crowd for any sign of her. He could not catch sight of her. He could not even find Blondie or his brother in the mayhem.

A hand trailed down his chest. His hand shot out to halt its path as it hit his belt buckle and he had to forcibly quash the urge to break the girl's wrist. "Oh my god, you are so hot." She was so far gone that Damon did not even bother to respond with a smile before continuing on his search.

When he spotted her, he almost wished he had not.

Elena had pressed some guy against a wall. The boy was sloppily planting kisses on her neck. His shirt was unbuttoned and her hands were tracing his chest much like that drunk girl had just tried to do to him.

For a second, he just wanted to walk away. It hurt more than he wanted to admit to see her wrapped up in another guy- especially one as unworthy as this kid appeared to be. And he highly doubted Elena would be receptive to his interference. But he walked towards her anyway. Elena with her humanity would not do this and he wanted to make sure she had as few regrets as possible when she eventually returned to the world of the emotional.

He pulled the kid away from her with no finesse. The kid spluttered incoherently. "What the hell, man?"

"Excuse you, Damon, what do you think you're doing?" She cocked her hip to one side, her dress strap had fallen one side exposing her left bra-clad breast. She reeked of alcohol and Damon paused to consider his next action. If only he could compel the kid.

"Is this your brother or something?" _Brother? _As if Damon needed another reason to want to snap this kid's neck.

Elena leant up to whisper suggestively in the imbecile's ear, "Get rid of him for me. I want to show you a good time." Elena's eyes were locked on him the whole time; she was putting on this show for his benefit.

Proving he lacked any survival instincts and the basic modicum of intelligence, Joe High School turned to him and puffed out his chest. _You have got to be kidding me_.

"The lady doesn't want you here." Elena smirked at him triumphantly.

"Actually, I'm the chaperone of this shindig. I'm good friends with the Sheriff and I would just _hate_ to report how you despicably took advantage of this girl while she was drunk." The kid had sobered up now as he grasped the situation. Damon continued seemingly oblivious to the kid's palpitating fear, "Liz would be so saddened to hear a member of our community wished to take advantage of her daughter's best friend."

"I didn't mean any trouble! I'm just going to go! There's no reason to say anything!" The brat ran with his tail between his legs before Elena could even attempt to stop him.

Damon could not help the victorious smirk that graced his lips as he watched him leave: a smirk that was quickly wiped off his face with Elena's next move.

Damon's back slammed against the wall in the same position Average Joe had just been in. Without a word, Elena ripped his shirt down the middle. She was looking at him heatedly and the situation was eerily similar to their first time weeks ago after the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Just the thought of that night was enough lose focus.

Elena pressed against until there was no room whatsoever between them. She stood taller to trace her tongue on the shell of his ear. "Jealousy doesn't suit you, Damon. If you wanted it to be you, all you had to do was ask." Her lips trailed down his jaw, to his neck, and then to his chest.

"Elena-" he started before he cut himself off with a groan. She had latched her lips onto his nipple to prevent him from speaking. She nipped him and he shivered involuntarily. His eyes closed under her ministrations as he lost himself under her touch. The party noises had faded as she licked her way up to his lips. Their breaths mingled as she paused her mouth an inch away from his. He could feel her waiting for him to close the distance and wondered what she was doing. When they were together, she had no problem completely taking charge. She never waited on him. He liked that about her. Elena's fire and spunk had always fueled his attraction to her.

Like a jolt, reality set in. His eyes snapped open. This was not like those times, it was different now and he knew it. The eye contact from that close of a distance was even more charged than her touches had been. It was too much from the woman he loved whose extent of emotion towards him was simple desire.

In a flash, he had detangled himself, refusing to look at her. If he saw the same look on her face that she had with the brat earlier after what how she had just touched him, he would not be able to keep it together. Her disinterest in him emotionally was in the forefront of his mind. He knew she no longer cared about him, the sire bond's failure had proved it. Now she just lusted after like every other girl.

He reentered the crowd quickly making a beeline to the snot-nosed brats handling his good liqueur. He needed a breather.

* * *

Elena huffed irritated. She had almost had him. The second she waited for him to initiate the kiss, she saw realization tear through him. But she needed him to be the one to concede otherwise it was pointless. Of course, there was a certain appeal to letting him register he had given himself to her after she had made him scream her name over and over.

The thought caused her to smirk. But in the next second all traces of enjoyment were wiped off her face as she was bombarded by an angry Caroline.

"What are you doing?!" Caroline shrieked.

Elena only stared raised her eyebrows. Caroline did not even live here, what right did she have to get mad Elena threw a party. "I would have thought you'd enjoy my festive mood. Aren't you the one who lives for this stuff?"

"Not the party- though you should seriously come to me with any plans, Amanda Stevenson, really?!" Before Elena could even contemplate whether that was rhetorical, Caroline pushed on. "I'm talking about that- that- that _thing_ I just saw between you and Damon." Caroline appeared beside herself with revulsion. "You're not sired anymore, you don't have to act like that."

Elena stared at her blankly. Did she honestly still think that the sire bond had caused her to become attracted to Damon? Did she not have eyes? Besides, contrary to popular belief, Elena's feelings had always been real. She had always known they were, too. She knew how she felt the night she tried to let Damon go with tears in her eyes. If anything, her feelings for Stefan were the ones that had changed so dramatically. Kidnapping and threatening to kill a girl at the cite of her parents tragic death will do that.

Caroline continued determinedly, "And Stefan's here! He could have easily saw you doing that with his brother! What's wrong with you?" Caroline's voice had risen on each word in disbelief. It was lucky that the party was so loud or they would be causing a scene.

"Why can't I sleep with Damon? It's nothing I haven't done before. And anyways Stefan's most recent bedmate was the woman who killed me, so if we're comparing, I think I come out on top here."

Caroline looked startled. Elena guessed that Stefan had not deemed Caroline worthy of the sordid details of his sex life even though she spilled Elena's transgressions to him. But really, she did not understand why everyone was so obsessed with her love life with all the actually important stuff was going on.

"But I guess none of that matters to you anyway. It's not about right or wrong, this is all about your self-centerness. Damon treated you like shit when you met him; Stefan was great to you when you turned. You don't even care how they treat me, you just care about the fact that you prefer Stefan. You don't care about how badly he treated me last year because it's all about you here isn't it?" Elena continued ruthlessly. She did not even care that Caroline looked pained.

Abruptly Caroline's hurt face transformed into anger. "So you don't even care about your friends' opinions then?"

"You don't seem to care about mine as you make googly eyes at the man who killed me and Aunt Jenna. So you're not only a bad friend but a hypocrite, too."

"You know what, forget you! You want to destroy your life, fine by me! You haven't been my friend for a while. You haven't been Elena Gilbert since you turned. I thought it was the sire bond, but I guess it's just you!" There were tears trailing down Caroline's cheeks as she spun around and ran away.

Elena felt the tickling sensation return with a vengeance.

* * *

Damon watched the conflict unfold and was at Elena's side the second Caroline disappeared into the crowd.

"Hey, what do you say we blow this popsicle stand." Damon would do anything to stop the expression he saw on Elena's face. She was still stoically composed but now she looked lost. It was like deep down she could already register the loss from the bridges she was burning even as the switch kept the actual emotion down.

"And go where? You can only experience the joys of the Mystic Grill so often."

"I was thinking more along the lines of a road trip. What do you say? Want to enjoy a real city?" Elena had lost the worrying look as she contemplated the offer. He leaned down to loudly whisper in her ear jokingly, "I know it's a foreign concept for people around here but we might even be able to have _fun_." Damon widened his eyes dramatically on the last word.

"A five minute break, just you and me?"

"Yep. We'd have to leave your friend, Joe High School, behind though which I know might be a deal breaker right there," Damon teased indicating towards the boy from before.

"Oh, bummer." She rolled her eyes and walked towards his car so he guessed she wanted to go. He followed her immediately, got into the car and drove away without a glance at the chaos disappearing behind him.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! I'm taking elements that I know are coming up in the plot (Elena's party, the naked Elena scene) but it's only going to become more original with slight references to canon. To be honest, the response to this story has been kind of disappointing. I can't tell if people just don't like it or it's normal to get one review for every 460 words. Are people disinterested or is this typical? But thanks to anyone who responded!**


	5. The Unclean Break

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_Those who really love you don't mean to hurt you and if they do, you can't see it in their eyes but it hurts them too." _

**-Holly Black**

* * *

**The Unclean Break**

**Chapter Four:**

Damon loved New York City. It was places like this that made him question why the hell he was wasting his immortality somewhere that had only one bar and an unsettling high mortality rate. He knew the answer though and as long as Elena and his brother managed to avoid falling in the rapidly growing "deceased" category and wanted to stay, he would be there. But honestly Mystic Falls was so unappealing on every level. He could not fathom how he stayed there for years now, much less why omnipotent beings like Klaus and Rebekah seemed to _like_ it there.

Like any sane person, Elena's disposition had improved every mile they put between Mystic Falls and them. She had wanted to come here. She said she had never been before and he was happy to oblige. Currently she was in some shop or boutique doing girly things with his credit card. He was trying not to think about it.

"So is Blondie calmer now or is she already planning Elena and her next bitch fight? And do you think we would be able to convince them to add mud next time?" He widened his eyes but the effect was wasted on his brother who could not see him.

He heard Stefan sigh in his typical "why me?" way. "I think Caroline and Elena should not see each other until Elena's humanity is on. I don't think she can deal with Elena's bullying on top of everything else that is going on."

_Bullying? Maybe I'm the only one who watched Caroline storm up to harpy-rage at Elena, _Damon thought. "And what about you, brother, sick and tired of Elena's 'bullying'? Is that way you haven't asked about her at all?" Stefan was silent for a moment on the other side of the line. "Oh, come on! Nothing Elena's done even comes close to rivaling your greatest hits!"

That seemed to snap Stefan out of it. "That's different. She was never supposed to be anything like me." _Well, yeah. No shit Sherlock, but that doesn't change anything and you know it. _

So Barbie and his brother needed space from Big Bad Elena. Figures. He was sure they would come back around when Elena's emotions were back so he decided not to dwell on it. It seemed he was going have to extend the "five minute timeout" though since there was no way he would be able to convince Elena to turn on her humanity when two of the only people she had left had abandoned her and another was batshit insane. Speaking of which… "Have you checked on Bonnie?"

Stefan sounded confused when he spoke next, "No, why would I?"

"Has Caroline gone to her at least?"

"She didn't mention anything to me. What's wrong?"

Damon quickly filled him in on what Bonnie and Rebekah had said about Shane and how he was hoping Bonnie had just lost her sanity- otherwise, their problems were about to get a hell of a lot worse. Stefan agreed to look into it that was good because he did not think he was returning to Mystic Falls anytime soon.

"Speaking of Bonnie," Stefan's judgmental tone removed any gratefulness Damon felt, "Care to explain why the water is suddenly vervain-free and the Mayor came up to me in the Grill to say 'keep your psychotic brother away from me, I am not a man to be crossed.'" _Oh please, what could Mister Mayor do to me? _"You promised you would be reasonable."

"I was very reasonable! Why are you complaining, I got the vervain out of the water, didn't I?"

"Damon, we should be trying to get this guy on our side. And I can't deal with you flying off the handle with everything that's going on." He must have sensed that Damon was not having it because he continued to lecture him in his self-righteous way, "Violence is not the answer."

"So you say, but it's worked well for me for the past 145 years."

"Why do you have to make everything so hard?"

Whatever sarcastic retort he had been about to say died on his lips at the sight before him. He knew he was staring, lips parted in awe, like a lovesick moron but he could not stop himself. Besides "lovesick moron" was far more charitable than most of his other distinctions.

Elena was gracefully striding quickly enough for the wind to pick up her newly styled hair. It was curlier and colored red and blonde on a few strands. And she was dressed far more elegantly than he was used to. She was emanating confidence and Damon could see people on the sidewalk gawking at her.

She quickly caught sight of his expression and smiled radiantly.

He thinks he may have forgotten how to breathe.

Then Stefan's voice still yelling at him on the phone catches his attention and the spell is broken.

"Got to go, Stef. Things to do, people to kill, all that violence awaits!" He could just imagine Stefan's horrified face and that made it all the more worth it. And Elena seemed amused which was always a plus.

"Hey there, Cinderella, I see you're ready for the ball. What's with the new 'do?"

"I don't want to look like her," she replied simply.

"You don't want to look like Katherine so you curled your hair?" Damon asked skeptically. He had to admit that the highlights would at least make differentiating between them easier.

"No, I didn't want to look like the girl everyone is trying to make me turn back into." Any previous amusement was gone from her expression and Damon's heart squeezed painfully.

Damon did not know what to say to that so he changed the subject. "So what are the chances that you left me enough money to get us dinner at some swanky place. Show off your new look and all." Damon winked as she regained her composure unnaturally quickly.

* * *

Damon had no idea. He was so stupidly trusting of her. He did not even question her request to go to New York for a second.

_She saw Damon arrive with Rebekah._ What the hell is he doing with her? _She thought irritated. Strangely enough, she both cared less for him than before and felt more possessive of him. Yet another example of how the switch leaves some things to be desired. Elena did not want to feel the need to stake a claim on Damon every time she saw him. She knew rationally that he was as devoted to her as he could be. He was hers in every way but she had a dark desire to make him admit it, too. _

_Damon turned away from her seemingly scanning the crowd for something. But Rebekah's eyes locked on hers as she made a beeline towards her. _Oh great.

"_I have something you will want to hear but first you have to tell me something. Do you still want to become human again?" Rebekah began and Elena's interest piqued despite her. _

_But why would she want to be human again? Feel that pain? It was all for Jeremy anyway and no longer mattered. The thought made the tingling sensation come back so she focused on Rebekah instead._

"_No, I can't think of anything I'd like less." _

_Rebekah nodded, considering before explaining, "I have been tracking Katherine for the cure for the last week. She's in New York. I'm heading up there tomorrow find her and take it."_

"_Why are you telling me this?"_

_Rebekah paused, the first traces of genuine emotion touching her face. "He was your brother, I wanted you to have the chance to take the most important thing away from Katherine: her life."_

"_So you want to give me a chance at revenge?" Elena said dubiously but could not fight the feeling coursing through her. She had been feeling suffocated and purposeless since the island. Now Rebekah was giving her a chance to change that._

_Rebekah must have seen her change in expression because she just smirked as she walked away. "Text me when you get there. Oh, and lover boy is fast approaching." Elena glanced and saw that Damon had almost reached her end of the crowd. In seconds he would turn around and catch sight of her. _

_She grabbed a random boy passing that was attractive enough and pushed him against the wall and started unbuttoning his shirt._

_The boy did not question her at all. He started kissing down her neck completely ignorant of the danger stalking towards him. Elena had to bite back a smirk even as she begun to plan. _

Elena and Rebekah were slated to meet in a couple hours but Elena had no clue how to ditch Damon without him getting suspicious. Damon was smart and skeptical, if Elena just left, he would know something was up. She had considered telling him but she did not think he would go for it. Besides the fact that she was pretty sure Damon still felt enough for Katherine after a century and a half of pining for her that he did not want her dead, he would also object because of her.

Damon had gotten some sort of ridiculous notion that he had to watch her for things that she would not appreciate having done when she flipped her switch on. It was so stupid, she was never turning her humanity back on. Nothing could make it worth it. But even as she thought that, something in her told her that was not true. She remembered the giddy elation when she finally told Damon her feelings after so long of repressing them. She was practically bouncing off the walls, grinning from ear to ear.

But it was not worth the pain. Nothing was.

So she could not tell Damon. She did not trust that he would be onboard with her plan. And maybe she did not want him in the line of fire but that thought was dismissible and irrelevant of course.

She had to get rid of him without arousing suspicion. She considered her options. Maybe just leaving would be best. He would be unlikely to find her in time anyway. But if he followed her, he was stronger than she was and could force her to stop. And he would find her leaving strange enough to spark his curiosity.

Well, she guessed that the solution was simple then. She had to make him act irrationally and impulsively so he would stalk off himself. Then when she slipped out, he would not even notice.

She would just have to hurt him.

* * *

After dinner, Damon led the way to their hotel room. Truthfully, he wanted to have separate rooms, if only for his self-control. But it had seemed so pointless especially since he figured Elena would just stay in his room anyway. She was hardly considerate of boundaries and subtleties lately. So then he would have just wasted money to buy himself shortly lived peace of mind before Elena inevitably disturbed it.

He opened the door to the spacious room. It was fancy and well decorated. The look of wonder on Elena's face made it worth its outrageous price. He sometimes forgot because of her incomparable effect on him that she was still young and had yet to see many things.

He left her to her own devices and immediately went to shower. He shut the bathroom door and stripped his clothes quickly.

The hot water sizzled against his skin but he needed it. He was trying to act normal but he just had a bad feeling about everything. Bonnie's delusions were a problem, losing the ability to make Elena turn her humanity back on was worse. And Elena without her humanity was worrying him. She had broken her bonds with Stefan and Caroline and he was worried that she would not be able to get past that when she came back. He was sure that the two of them would forgive everything when Elena flipped her switch on but he was worried that Elena would not be able to.

That was what bothered him. He could handle Elena killing people, sleeping around, compelling the masses, and saying hurtful things but it was only going to hurt Elena herself more when she had her emotions back. Everything with Jeremy would be hard enough to deal with, how could she handle regretting her actions as well. Her survivor's guilt coupled with remorse over hurting people might just be too much.

Waking up after your humanity had been off to discover that you slept with countless nameless people and brutally murdered even more was jarring. You went from not caring to having your feelings threaten to eat you alive in a heartbeat.

He could deal with it. Stefan could not and that plagued his brother every day. It was one of the reasons he liked to compare himself to Damon. He had a desperate need to feel better about himself and Damon usually let him.

He was pretty sure Elena could handle it, too. She was stronger than people gave her credit for. But she would not be able to take it right now when she already felt that she had lost everything. So Damon had decided to intervene and make sure she did not do anything to add to her future pain.

He sighed. He missed Elena with her humanity and that was weighing heavily on him. Using deflection and sarcasm to hide how he really felt defined his relationships with most everyone. Except Elena. He trusted her implicitly and though he tried to keep up his façade around her at times, she always knocked it down. That was one of his favorite things about being with her. She understood him and he was free to be himself around her. Up until recently that is.

He loved Elena. He loved every part of her, even the darker ones that she tried to hide. It was not that he hated what she was doing so much as how she treated him.

Lost in his thoughts, he missed the sound of the bathroom door opening. It was only when Elena opened the shower door and stepped in with him that he was snapped back to reality.

"While I usually love a pretty girl in my shower, I also usually ask her to join me first," Damon quipped even as his voice reflected his tension. Elena was just staring at him. He tried not to notice that there was barely enough room for the two of them in the shower and that she was completely naked but it was hard. It was _really_ hard. "So if you would excuse me, you're interrupting my 'me time'." Damon paused, waiting for her to do something.

Suddenly she pushed him up against the glass wall. The water spray was drenching him and blurred his vision. Not that he needed to see anything as Elena's lips crushed his.

This would not be like last time though. Damon knew better. "There is a little too much you in my 'me time,'" he gasped out as he held her face back.

She was persistent though. She inserted one of her legs between his own, brushing his groin purposely. He groaned instinctively. She smirked as she felt his natural reaction to her continual rubbing. "Since when do you turn down sex, Damon? You're always chomping at the bit for anyone who will take you."

Damon froze against her. He still felt aroused as her hand reached out to start caressing him all over but her words had sent ice through his veins. He started pushing against her more insistently. "Elena, get off of me," he said dropping any pretense.

But Elena did not pay him any mind. He had not resorted to serious force yet and she was taking full advantage of that. She latched onto his neck kissing and licking. "I don't blame you for that. If I were unlovable like you, I guess I would take whatever I could get." He was absolutely rigid in her arms. Suddenly, she bit down, her fangs tearing into his neck causing him to flinch uncontrollably. He felt suffocated and all he knew was he needed to put space between them.

He pushed her hard enough that she had to work to regain her balance on the slippery shower floor. While she was distracted, he left the shower and put on his clothes in a blur.

The fabric was immediately soaked through but he did not care as long as he was covered. He had been told worse by countless people but Elena had the power to undo him. And it felt like she had just exposed him to the world with just a couple sentences.

In a flash, she had him under her on the bed. They were both soaking wet and she was straddling him naked. Any other time and it would have been extremely erotic, especially as she began to grind herself against him.

"Stop, Elena," he said seriously, turning his head away in an attempt to distance himself from everything. But she did not stop and he was hesitant to use physical means to make her. If she were persistent enough, the only thing that would keep her at bay would be snapping her neck or legs. The idea left a bad taste in his mouth.

He heard her take a deep breath almost as if she were preparing herself for something. "What's wrong? You didn't think I actually loved you, did you? I was over Stefan and you were hot and desperate. What did you think would happen? I mean I've never seen someone so pathetically throw themselves out there again and again even as I told you repeatedly just how irritated it made me. You were always in the way with your pitiful attempts to be in my life." She sighed and her breath almost seemed to hitch slightly. "But I figured I'd give you a try in bed. It's all your good for really."

Damon had not moved since she started speaking. Now he wondered if he could ever move again. He felt sick. Her movements against him had caused him to harden even as her words made him want to vomit.

That was really what she thought. She had basically told him so at the Originals' ball months ago. Why was he reeling then? How could he have let himself hope?

"And you're just going to lie down and take it, aren't you? How sad that even now you're putting yourself out there for someone who could care less. If you're going to insist on inserting yourself into my life, you could at least make yourself useful." She was teasing the hemline of his pants with her fingertips making it very clear what she meant.

He could not take it anymore. He sped out the room, still not looking at her.

* * *

Elena waited several minutes before she unlocked her frozen stance on the bed.

She heard a strange gasping noise and realized with it start that it was her. She was hyperventilating. It made no sense, she could not feel anything. Her humanity was gone. She could not feel! Why was her heart refusing to listen to that simple truth?

Her hand came up to clutch at her chest but she could not understand why. It was all so wrong, the pain was supposed to go away. But she knew this was a kind of different pain. She still felt detached from Jeremy but not from what had just happened. Why? What was happening?

It was like the sickening sensation that pooled in her gut after her fight with Caroline but so much worse. That was like momentarily losing her balance on the fine line she was walking. Hurting Damon was like careening off the side and clinging to it for dear life.

What right did he have to be hurt? He hurt her plenty of times! But even as she attempted to channel the pain threatening to overwhelm her into rage, all she could see was his face beneath her. He looked so young in his pain. He was stricken and his face had crumpled in the pain that he never let the world see. She forced him to show her vulnerabilities to him. Sitting on top of him, teasing him emotionally and physically so when she geared up for the finale, he would be beside himself and leave.

Her face felt strangely cold and when her hand brushed her cheek, it came away with tears. This was stupid. She got what she had wanted and now she was going to meet with Rebekah.

As she headed out to the designated meeting spot, she reassured herself. _I don't feel anything. Damon's pain is of no consequence to me. I don't care that I hurt him. And I definitely don't care about him._

She braced herself for what was to come as she spotted Rebekah waiting for her and wondered why all those thoughts resonated like lies within her mind.

* * *

Damon stalked the streets silently. He was seething and could not stop the unjustified feeling of betrayal from coursing through him. He wanted to rip into any of the clueless people around him until they were as bloodless and dead as he felt. But he could not. He had to keep some semblance of ethics since Elena had temporarily lost her moral compass. He had to be the morality police, what a scary thought. He could think of many people who would find him unsuited for the job. He could not say he disagreed.

He sighed as his thoughts returned to the source of his mood. Elena was only speaking the truth so why did it bother him that she said it? He had no right to be upset. Sure, if her humanity were on she would have never said anything but that was because she would not have wanted to hurt him. She was just that kind of person. But it did not change anything, she said it because it were true. Losing her humanity just made her bluntly honest now.

The only thing the switch had changed in that realm was her desire to filter her thoughts.

That was the real difference between Elena and Katherine now. Katherine was out to manipulate and seduce her way to saving her sorry ass. Elena just did not care about what people thought of her anymore and became more honest as a result.

That was why even though she would come on to him, she would not flatter him or capitalize on every opportunity to touch him. She was not trying to trick him or use him for anything more than her libido. She made herself very clear in that area.

Maybe that was why he did not see her actions tonight coming. She was not just mildly teasing him or touching him. She was forceful and unable to accept no for an answer. And she was volleying insults at him even as he did nothing. It was unlike anything he had seen from her in the past week.

Everything questionable she had done since losing her humanity besides things to quench her thirst or lust had been because of someone else. She was not going around finding people to use and destroy.

She stood naked before Stefan, Caroline and him because they were standing outside of the shower, not because she sought them out. She kissed him at the party because he had gotten rid of her other would be suitor. She fought with Caroline because Caroline had come up to her to yell at her. Elena was not trying to cause problems, she just responded in the least ideal way possible when faced with conflict now because she did not care to spare feelings.

That was why it seemed to come out of nowhere earlier. It was almost like she was attacking him without cause. She had sought him out, she had insulted him, she had pursued him excessively, and for what?

What had changed? What had he done to make her come after him? Reject her? It seemed extreme and only hurt her chances at sleeping with him. It was almost like she was lashing out to push him away, but why would she do that?

"_So where are we off to, crazy girl?"_

"_New York City." Elena said without hesitation as she looked out the window from the passenger side of his Camaro. _Well, that was quick, _he thought, _but who was he to argue with that determination? _Damon liked New York anyway._

"_Well, I aim to please. New York it is," he winked at her. _

Was there more going on than he thought? His pace had slowed to a stop and angry people around him were grumbling about him blocking the sidewalk.

On a hunch, he spun around and raced back to the hotel room. He found it empty as he expected and swore. How could he fall for such a stupid trick? And how was he ever going to find her in such a big city?

* * *

**The real plot is kicking off now. I was nervous to post this honestly. ****I'm basing a lot of Elena's characterization on Julie Plec's interviews that say she'll be doing what she wants and not having anyone trying to stop her. I think that Elena could manipulate Damon because before she turned she would mildly manipulate him sometimes (like in 2x13 to keep him from doing bad things,) the way and why have just changed with her humanity off. But the switch is also shown to malfunction in emotional moments. So it allows Elena to be able to do such harsh things for her purposes but can't keep the emotion out of it as much as she'd like to (and assumes she'll be able to.)**

**I'd like to thank the guest reviewer who told me it was normal for new authors to struggle to get a following. It may not seem like much, but I was unable to write before I read that. It was uninspiring when people seemed to not like it. Now I've already written half of the next chapter as well. So thanks! Hope you liked it! And if you care, please review! Because it seems interest has actually dwindled in terms of reviews.**


	6. The Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men

_**Brace For Impact**_

_"'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!' Nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare, the lone and level sands stretch far away."_

**-Percy Bysshe Shelley**

* * *

**The Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men**

**Chapter Five:**

Damon debated his next move for a few minutes. He did not want to. He _really_ did not want to. But he had wracked his brain for any alternatives and came up with nothing.

It was possible that Elena was in no danger and she was safely tucked away in some café, sipping hot cocoa and laughing about what a pathetic sap Damon is. But he did not have that kind of luck. And it was Elena, which ruled out the possibility of anything good coming from this. Not all her plans failed, but her track record was pretty shitty and he did not trust it for a second.

He was growing desperate. He compelled the people at the concierge and the doormen for information but none of them knew where Elena had gone.

Which brought him back to his incredibly sucky idea.

Angrily, he pulled out his phone. As it was ringing, it occurred to him how likely it was that the person on the other line would ignore him. The fourth ring rang in his ear and he had all but given up when a sultry voice purred in his ear.

"And here I thought you would be still pouting since I killed Elena's kid brother."

Damon gritted his teeth and tried to quell the anger coursing through him. He took a deep breath and cut to the chase, "Where are you?"

"Why should I tell you? You'll take the first flight out here to drive a stake through my heart on some misplaced noble desire to avenge the sweet maiden Elena." Katherine's voice was noticeably more bitter now. It occurred to Damon that Katherine was probably not happy with having driven one more wedge between him and her. Or maybe it was about Stefan and her. Yeah, that had to be it. The answer to most things was usually Stefan anyway.

"Actually," Damon drawled purposely casual, "I'm trying to save your useless ass." There was a pause on the other side of the line. If Katherine was anything, she was a survivalist. Now she was just weighing the likelihood that he was lying.

Another beat and then she finally spoke. "Now why would you think that I am in danger?"

"Because your little stunt back on The Island of Doctor Moreau has made you even more enemies if that's possible."

Incredibly, Katherine started laughing. "You think I'm scared of my little doppelganger? I can wipe the floor with you, she wouldn't stand a chance." She was being dismissive but Damon knew better. Katherine took any threat to herself seriously and she was still on the line for a reason.

"She would if she help from someone older and stronger than you. This isn't just about Jeremy, it's about the _cure_," Damon sneered. If there was ever a more pointless endeavor, he did not know it. Except maybe trying to free this bitch from the tomb.

Damon had thought about it for a while. What could cause Elena to run around New York behind his back? The only reason she would do that would be if she thought he would try to stop her from doing whatever it is she was going. He briefly thought that she was just out drinking from people but disregarded that theory quickly. She had not been shy about feeding on people before in front of him. He saw no reason she would try so hard to get rid of him for that.

That left Katherine. He did not see what else she would be trying to do through this convoluted plan. Leading him to New York, pushing his buttons so he would leave her, and sneaking off? It was all too thought out. She picked a specific destination after all.

And with Katherine came the question of how Elena would have ever found her. He had contacts, Stefan had contacts, Katherine had contacts- Elena did not have contacts. There was no one besides himself and Stefan who could feed her information. And he did not know how to track Katherine anyway. That left someone older than him with a need to find Katherine. That left only two candidates that he could think of who knew Elena. Since he figured that Klaus would never go to Elena about any of his plans and that if he had found Katherine, she would just be dead. That gave him the answer.

Someone who was impossibly connected through age, who was after the cure, and, most importantly, who would reach out for companionship.

"You like your chances against Elena and a vengeful Original? Because I can tell you from experience that Rebekah is a bitch when she's on the warpath. Just tell me where you are. I have no interest in killing with you now, I have my own problems."

There was another pause. Damon thought she might have hung up. Then she told him plainly, "New York."

That was all the confirmation he needed. But before he could tell her anything more, he heard a crash from the other line.

"50 Central Park Street," she said and hung up before he could gather what was going on.

Shaking off the sad irony that he was rushing off to save Katherine _again_, he sped off in her direction. He was close, he would be there in minutes. So why did he have such a bad feeling about all of this?

* * *

Damon found the hotel easily. He tried to concentrate on his plan but he was finding it difficult.

All he could think was what Elena had said and why she had said it. Did the fact that she told him those things to sneak out mean that she did not really mean them? Or were they true but the execution was just because she wanted to get rid of him.

He could not stop the feeble hope in his chest and he cursed himself. This was his problem, he saw the signs and held out stupidly despite them. He knew Katherine's feelings for Stefan in 1864, he knew she was not as interested in him as he was her, and he knew she chose to turn Stefan, too, despite promising him that she would not. He saw all of that and what did he do? Waste a century and a half devoted to her! Hell, he spent fifty years celibate for her. He should have known better, he should know better now.

So why could he not just cut ties with Elena?

She made herself very clear. His love for her only bothered her. She was only interested in him physically, nothing more. She had just been too nice of a person to tell him so before. The Originals' Ball had not been a case of something coming out wrong; it had been her saying what she really thought but been too scared to say. And then she felt badly about it and had tried to backtrack.

He knew this. He had known subconsciously for so long but had wanted to be hopeful anyway. _Lovesick, moronic fool, _he cursed himself even as he blurred up the stairs to where he could hear the commotion.

He should turn around right now. He should leave Elena and all thoughts of her behind. Let her get herself killed, it was not his problem.

But he could not and no amount of logic would kill the hope still pulsing through his veins. He could still remember the girl madly in love with his brother, refusing to leave his side as he was dying of a werewolf bite. The girl who panicked at the thought of putting him in danger on those Tennessee mountains. The girl thanked him sincerely for saving her. The girl who wanted to dance with him.

Elena cared. She may not love him but she cared. And she was only running away out of fear. Because if anyone besides Damon himself knew that caring too much could destroy you, it was Elena Gilbert.

So he could not snuff the spark of hope in his chest.

* * *

Elena heard Katherine quickly mutter her address and the beep of a call ended as she ran down the hall with Rebekah. Backup, _really_? _What did she have hordes of men she has seduced or compelled to come flying to her rescue?_ And with that theory came the image of a younger Stefan and Damon and she realized just how much she hated this woman.

She hated being compared to her, she hated looking like her, she hated that she stole Jeremy from her, and she hated what she had done to the two men she loved most left in her life.

Sometimes she had to stretch to channel any potential pain into rage but not right now. They burst in without preamble, shattering the wood of the door easily.

Somehow, in the seconds before Rebekah kicked down the door, Katherine had set the stage to her liking. She had the boxed cure in her right hand, soaked in what smelled like gasoline, a lighter in her left hand, and was perched close enough to the window to throw it out before they could stop her. There was something wrong with the picture though. Not that Katherine would leverage her way out of anything, not that she would use the cure to distract them while she ran away as per usual, but that she had connected the dots so quickly that they were coming for the cure. She had set it all up before she had even seen who, if anyone, was after her.

_Did someone tip her off? How? _Elena thought but decided she did not care. This was her moment to destroy this woman and she wanted to revel in it.

"Give me the cure," Rebekah stated unperturbed. Sometimes, with how crazy she could be, Elena forgot that Rebekah was a thousand years old and knew that she had power over everyone around her. The confidence with knowing Katherine could not possibly kill her had endowed Rebekah with assertiveness and poise.

"Sorry, I have special plans for this," Katherine replied in a blasé manner. She also appeared self-assured. It was probably because she had an ace up her sleeve. It was Katherine after all. "So why are you wasting my time, little Elena?"

Elena bristled but knew that her own confidence did not come from anything rational like power or cunning. She just did not care. If she were to die here, what would it matter? Elena Gilbert was meant to die so many times over the last two years and she had escaped every time.

She felt a pang in her consciousness over those thoughts. She wondered what Damon would do if she died. He should be glad since she only brought him down, to say nothing of her treatment earlier. She worried he would lose it though. He was far too self-destructive for his own good when it came to her. Unfortunately, just thinking of Damon caused the tingling sensation to return. Elena studiously brushed it aside.

When Elena did not answer, Katherine continued blissfully. "Oh, that's right. You've turned off your humanity. How cute!" she cooed, "Baby vampires always think that can do anything. You're lucky that you have Stefan and Damon looking out for you, you're too stupid to last a week on your own." Something was wrong with this picture and Elena could not figure it out before Rebekah spoke.

"You're stalling, why?"

At that moment, Elena felt someone grab her from behind. Her arms were pinned to her sides by someone far stronger than she. She started struggling pointlessly and noticed Katherine smirking at her from across the room. It enraged her more and she doubled her efforts to break free. She tried to use a move that Damon taught her back when she was still human, she was going to slam her foot on his instep and head-butt her captor's chin. Unfortunately, the arms around her were a cage and the person behind her dodged both moves effortlessly.

"Hold on there, Xena. It's a little unfair to use my own moves against me, don't you think?" Elena stilled at the voice whispering in her ear. She had been panicked a second ago and now she was tempted to relax in his embrace. A wave of peace washed over her against her will and she turned her head slightly to ascertain the identity of her attacker.

From her view inches away, Damon did not look angry with her. And thankfully he had lost the stricken face from earlier that would haunt her dreams tonight. But she could not help but notice that he was rigid around her. Her heart sunk without her permission in the knowledge that it was because of her.

And then all lingering feelings of guilt left her. He was stopping her from getting revenge. He was protecting Katherine. _How dare he?_

* * *

After overcoming her initial shock at seeing him there, Elena started visibly seething with rage. "How can you defend her after everything she's done to me? After everything she's done to ruin your life?"

"Defend _her_?" Damon asked incredulously, "That's what you think I'm doing? Did it escape your notice that you entered an all-out brawl between you, Barbie Klaus and the crazy-psychotic slut?" Damon groaned. It did not matter if she were human, vampire, had her humanity, or had no humanity- her self-preservation instincts were abysmal.

Elena was not stupid so how had she completely missed his devotion to her? She appeared to actually think he ran across town in an effort to save _Katherine's_ life. _You spend 148 years obsessed and they remember it always, _he thought wryly. But, moreover, did she not realize how incredibly dangerous and dumb this was? Katherine could and would kill her in a second. And he would trust just about anyone over Rebekah with Elena's safety

Before she could respond to his questions, Rebekah cut in angrily. "You told him?" She glared at him. As if he were the problem here!

"Of course not," Elena scoffed and it struck him in that moment how at home she seemed among Rebekah and Katherine. But he knew better, she had unconsciously been leaning into him since she realized who was holding her. She may not get it yet, but she was seeking comfort. "I did everything to keep him away, he's just too stupid to stay away!" _That's an understatement, _Damon thought dryly.

But her words did the trick and he was distracted enough that she was able to finally head-butt him and throw him back into Katherine's dresser. It was wood naturally. A larger piece lodged itself deep in his stomach. He grimaced in pain and looked at the scene before him.

Katherine had made the blunder of watching his drama with Elena unfold, Elena had fallen to the rookie mistake of checking to see if she had hurt him too much, and Rebekah used their distraction to her advantage.

In a second, Rebekah and Katherine were blurring around the room. But Damon did not care, they were not his concern. Elena was.

Elena had seemingly overcome her shock at hurting Damon and dove into the melee without hesitation, confirming Damon's doubts that she had a single survivalist bone in her body.

Having lost her leverage with the cure, Katherine was now frantically dodging while simultaneously looking for a way to leave. That was Katherine's modus operandi after all, never fight people who can beat you. And always have several back-up plans and escape routes planned. Unfortunately, Elena jumping into the fray had thrown her off. But not enough for Elena's wellbeing.

Damon sprang up, neglecting to pull out the stake in his haste, when he saw Katherine prepare to backhand Elena. He intervened just in time to take the hit himself. Unfortunately, at the same time, Rebekah had made a grab for the cure. It was knocked out of Katherine's hands falling beside him. It was so close that when the wooden box shattered at impact, he felt several shards hit his face.

He gasped even with his eyes closed at the pain. Interestingly enough, his nose was overcome with the sweetest aroma when he breathed in. _What…?_

As soon as he registered that thought, every fiber of being exploded in pain. What was a niggling ache a second ago was now excruciating torture. He wanted to get up, he thought he saw Elena go down, too, from his peripheral vision. But even breathing suddenly seemed like too much effort. He thought he heard Elena cry out in pain but everything was blurring around him and he just let go.

His last thought before blackness overcame him was that he probably should not have gotten up this morning.

* * *

When Damon fell down, Elena's eyes had followed instinctively. This was her fault. She felt pained again over her uselessness. He was never supposed to be involved. She had only seconds to dwell on her guilt as Katherine suddenly careened into her because of a powerful blow from Rebekah.

The impact managed to both fracture her nose and dislocate her shoulder thanks to the combined force of Katherine's body and the hand floor she had tried to break her fall with.

Katherine was back up immediately but Elena was still unused to these types of fights. She needed to recover. The pain was pulsating throughout her body. Her nose snapped back into place and she yelped. The sounds of the brawl had stopped. Maybe she could just lie here for a moment.

She focused back in as she realized how weird it was that the fight had stopped. She noticed that Damon was still lying on the ground. He appeared to be unconscious somehow. Maybe one of the other two had snapped his neck?

Both Katherine and Rebekah were just gawking at Damon, too.

Strangely, because Elena was almost certain that she felt nothing for Damon and should not worry over what was the equivalent of a paper cut to a vampire, Rebekah screamed, "No!" Then she started really confusing Elena. She dove to the floor beside Damon and picked up a little rose that Elena had not seen earlier and started sniffing it furiously. It was the most laughable thing she had ever seen. A thousand year old vampire smelling a flower like her life depended on it.

Stranger still was Katherine's reaction. She had been frozen staring at where Damon lay and now was staring in disbelief at everything in front of her. Then she was by his side, purposely knocking Elena away. "Damon," she whispered seriously as she started shaking him. She put her hands all over him. His neck, his chest, his wounds, nothing escaped her perusal. She was grimacing, twisting her lovely features into something harsher and yet more humane.

Katherine pulled Damon onto her lap and lifted her wrist to her lips before pausing. She seemed to suddenly remember where she was and whom she was with. She dropped her arm back to the floor. Rebekah's odd preoccupation with the flower had dwindled and Katherine seemed to come into herself in a heartbeat.

She looked conflicted for another moment. She kept alternating between glancing at the man in her arms' battered body and the door. Mind made up, Katherine blurred out the door. _Typical_, Elena thought. She could not even be surprised. When things got bad, you could always trust on Katherine Pierce to run away.

Rebekah let out an angered shriek and followed her. That just left Damon and Elena alone. Elena popped her shoulder back in to place and could not hold back her scream as she did so.

She shook off the pain and approached the still prone Damon with confusion. What was he doing? None of his wounds were that serious, she had seen him recover from far worse.

But he was just lying there in a pool of his own blood. _Wait, what? _Elena thought with uncertainty. He may not have bothered to take the dresser piece out of his abdomen but he should definitely not be bleeding this much. But her eyes only confirmed that his shirt was soaked through and still was not moving.

Elena approached him unconcernedly, there was no reason to think that a stake to the gut could put down Damon Salvatore. And since there were no greyed veins creeping along his face, she knew he would heal. Still, she felt guilty for getting him into this mess and, worse, she could not shake the feeling of dread since she had seen Katherine's over-the-top reaction.

Just then an incredibly appetizing smell wafted to her nose. One of the hotel guests on the floor must be bleeding. Her face changed without her consent. Her fangs extended and veins shot from her now red eyes. The smell of human blood after she had been injured threatened to unhinge her newbie control. If she could just go quickly, she would return to Damon in minutes more capable to carry him back to their hotel room since he apparently was not up to moving.

As she turned to go do just that, she noticed the smell weaken. She paused. She had drank Damon's blood before as a vampire and as a human. Just weeks ago she had slammed him into the bathroom wall of the Grill in an effort to get more. But vampire blood and human blood tasted different. Vampire blood was far more delicious than animal blood but it still lacked the taste of real sustenance that came with human blood.

Hesitantly, she approached Damon again. She noticed that he was breathing shallowly and his heartbeat seemed slower. It did not make any sense. She felt the jolt of realization. _No… _

Dreading the confirmation of her fears, she reached toward the wound on Damon's stomach, now taking care not to disturb the wooden stake spearing him. She lightly dabbed her fingers in the blood that surrounded it. She did not want to know. Still, she raised her fingers to her lips with all the reluctance of someone walking to their own execution.

The blood caused ecstasy to shoot through her. It was the most exquisite thing she had ever tasted and yet all she could focus on was the dread and fear coursing through her.

"Damon!" She shouted, shaking him. Then gasped and stopped when she realized what a bad idea that was. She tore into her wrist with such urgent force that her arm was covered in blood as she lowered it to his mouth.

"Damon, answer me!" It was pointless, she was blocking his only was to speak anyway.

She became worried that he had not had enough and ripped into her wrist again with even more violence. She felt herself shaking. This could not be happening.

Finally, she heard a groan through her haze of fear. _He was going to fine_, she told herself. He was alive and that was all that mattered. Her panic was overwhelming her as she finally removed the stake. She could see him healing, not as fast as she was used to but she would take what she could get. She lifted him up carefully, clutching him to her chest with such protectiveness. The tingling sensation had gone haywire but for once she did not care. Damon still had yet to regain consciousness.

It was unsurprising. The wounds he had sustained were pretty damaging for a human.

* * *

**Who saw that coming? Since I'm basing this plot on a lot of things hinted at in canon and in spoilers, maybe a lot of people actually. I figure this move might not be popular but it's necessary for the story. A guest reviewer wondered what would bring Elena's humanity back. Having already written that scene, let's just say this had to happen.**

**Thanks so much to all the people who reviewed. I got less than half the reviews for chapters 3 and 4 than for 1 and 2 and just assumed it was because people lost interest. So thanks for inspiring me! I've got most of the next chapter done. I have a question though, should I continue daily updates? Or should I move to every other day or weekly?**


	7. The Mighty Fall

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_Telling us to obey instinct is like telling us to obey 'people.' People say different things: so do instincts._ _Our instincts are at war… Each instinct, if you listen to it, will claim to be gratified at the expense of all the rest."_

**-C.S. Lewis**

* * *

**The Mighty Fall**

**Chapter Six: **

Elena was frantically waiting for Damon to wake up. She had laid him out on their bed but was now stuck fidgeting more than she could stand. _All I can do is hold on,_ she told herself, but it was no use.

She felt sick. This was all her fault. Maybe if she had just told Damon her plans or if she had never went after Katherine at all. Right now, they could be somewhere tropical, drinking excessively in the sun away from all these problems. Why had she led him here to his own suffering?

The sounds of the city were giving her a headache. A car alarm went off fifty stories below her, and she almost threw a chair out the window.

She knew what was wrong. She had been injured and now she was hungry. She was far too young to be dealing this. It required control beyond a couple month old vampire. She was sitting in an enclosed space after having received multiple wounds with a human covered in blood.

_Human, _she thought despondently. How had she managed to mess everything up so badly? She thought losing her emotions would make her less of a liability. That she would stop being the reason everyone got hurt, why everything went wrong. Her self-loathing was suffocating her. And her survivor's guilt suddenly penetrated her every thought.

Ruthlessly, she quashed all of those feelings. She had her humanity off, and they could not make her feel. She welcomed the numbness that spread at her insistence.

But she could not help but feel that this was the beginning of the end. It was the first domino in the line. It was only a matter of time until the last one fell taking Elena down with it.

Shaking off her depressing thoughts, she returned her attention to Damon. He looked so fragile now. Maybe that was because she knew he was now.

Her fangs came out again, and she could not stop it. The room reeked of Damon's blood. It had spread to her very pores, and she did not know what to do. Should she leave him to find blood elsewhere? Despite her firm grasp on the switch, she felt her heart flutter with fear at the thought. What if Katherine or Rebekah found him while she was out drinking her fill on some random passerby?

No, she could not leave him. She would just have to last until he was awake and well enough to go with her.

But there was so much blood! He was soaked in it, and it had already started seeping into the bed sheets. _Maybe if I just had a little…_ she thought hopelessly.

She stopped. She realized that she had been inching towards him in hunger unconsciously. She felt like an animal for the first time since turning into a vampire. She had felt like a monster or an abomination before, but never had she been filled with such savage desires. She almost let her instincts drive her to lick the grievously injured man she loved while he was unconscious.

The revulsion that came with that thought was almost too much. She could have easily lost control then, too, and killed him. What had she been thinking?

She had not been thinking at all she recognized. The blood had made her forget that the man in front of her was more than just a slab of meat to her. If this was how it was now, how long could she last? Would she just wake up from the heat of bloodlust to discover she drained the person most important to her that she had left?

Elena reconsidered her options. She could hear a man pacing back and forth in the room next door. She could easily walk out, knock on his door and compel him to feed her. It would only be a couple minutes. And she could satisfy the rage boiling inside her by killing the useless man. It would make her feel better. And she would take Damon back to Mystic Falls in the morning, long before someone found the body.

She was debating. It would not be long at all, but she could not bring herself to part with Damon when he was in this state.

Making up her mind, she finally allowed herself to close in on Damon. He looked peaceful even covered in blood._ Blood… _she shook herself out of it and with newfound determination, began to strip him.

She was careful not to jostle him too much. When he was completely naked before her, it struck her how vulnerable he was. The guilt was pooling in her gut again, so she gently picked him up in her arms.

She carried him to the bathroom without breathing. Bloodlust and lust were swirling inside of her and it just made her angrier with herself. It was horrible, but her vampiric urges were starting to get to her.

Her instincts were recognizing Damon as an easy target, prey, and she wanted him in every way. The whole situation was just wrong on so many levels.

Damon's head fell into the crook of her neck, and his light breaths tickled her skin. Suddenly, she did not want to sleep with him or drink from him, all she wanted were his conscious arms wrapped around her in an embrace to block out the rest of the world.

She set his legs onto the ground and with one hand supporting him, she used her other to open the shower door and turn or the water.

She clutched him to her as the water poured down on them. She had not bothered with her own clothes and they quickly became drenched. Her arms were wrapped around him keeping him in a standing position as his head had lolled onto her shoulder.

"Damon?" She whispered hopefully in his ear. She wanted to see his bright blue eyes. Elena could not shake the fear that she never would be graced with that sight again. The water failed to rouse Damon but that was not why she had dragged him in here.

Slowly, she moved one arm from its place at his waist and leaned him back against the wall of the shower. She had a flashback to just hours ago when she was tormenting him in this same position. Everything had changed so quickly.

Damon's head was resting against the wall, and she used her free hand to brush away some of the wet strands of his hair. She found herself distracted as she caressed his cheek. _Just a little bit of emotion, a brief moment of weakness, and then I can block it out again,_ she convinced herself.

She methodically washed all the blood off his body. She did not let herself linger anywhere and kept her eyes from wandering. It was so clinical that she thought for a second that her switch had started working again. It was a vain hope because she started brushing parts of him in a not so detached manner. His lips, his eyelids, his jawline, it all called to her more than her animalistic instincts that had almost consumed her earlier.

Gradually, she lowered them to the tiled floor. She knew she had vampire strength, but she suddenly felt so weak. He lay unmoving on her lap as she braced her upper body against the wall. The shower was still on, but they just laid there. The water eventually lost its warmth and still she sat with him.

She held him to her desperately and silently cried for the first time since Jeremy.

* * *

Elena felt better after she laid Damon back down on the bed. She felt stronger, calmer, and the sounds of Damon's no longer labored breathing soothed her more than it should have.

The problem now actually had little to do _with_ Damon even though it was _about_ him. She sighed conflicted before she decided that she just had to bite the bullet on this one.

She pulled out her phone and dialed the number straight from memory her eyes never leaving Damon's now unstained, clothed form.

It rang several times before going to voicemail. Elena frowned and repeated the process. Still no answer. _What the hell?_

She huffed as she realized what was probably going on. She grabbed Damon's phone from his discarded pants' pocket. She waited a second before she dialed the same number as before. Within the first ring, Stefan answered.

"What is it, Damon?"

_That bastard, _Elena thought angrily. And then she recognized that she could just tell him that herself. "You bastard." And quickly before he could disconnect, "Don't hang up, it's important."

The sound of breathing reassured her that Stefan had listened. "Well, what is it?" But then before she could answer, Stefan spoke again more urgently, "Wait, where's Damon? Why do you have his phone?"

Elena paused for a second, unsure of how to explain. Unfortunately, that indecision sent Stefan into a frenzy.

"Elena, what is it? Where is he?" It was times like these that she remembered that the Salvatores hated and loved each other in equal measure. They had some sort of codependency thing going on as well. She was not sure how Stefan would handle the news.

"You need to come to New York." She would rather he just found out in person and she did not want to explain and admit that it was her fault either. Plus, she needed help. What was she supposed to do with a injured, human Damon in a city of likely dozens of vampires and at least two powerful ones who knew what had happened to him? "Ideally right now."

Stefan was silent on the other end for a beat. Then he whispered so quietly that only vampire hearing allowed her to make out what he had said, "Is he alive?"

Alive was certainly not Damon's problem right now. In fact, she would argue he was more alive now than he had been since 1864. She snorted, "Yeah, he's alive. But it's still not pretty," she added that last part to ensure Stefan would get there as soon as possible.

Stefan hung up without another word. Well, at least Elena was sure he got the message.

She pondered how much easier it was to use the switch with Stefan. She had been all over the place with Damon today and yet she felt nothing for worrying and insulting Stefan. She did not like that. She needed the switch to work with the people who caused her to get the craziest, not the other way around.

As she thought that over, she heard a pained moan behind her.

* * *

The light hurt Damon's eyes. Who had thought that it was a good idea to make lighting that bright?

He groaned in pain. Everything hurt. The simple action of shifting his weight sent tingles of pain to every extremity. _What the hell…?_

With more effort than it should take, Damon opened his eyes. He is greeted with the sight of Elena. "What a nice thing to wake up to," he smirks because she does not look good. She is unbelievably pale, her beautiful face drawn with stress. "Don't wrinkle that pretty, little forehead of yours, brooding is Stefan's thing." All his jokes fail to remove the helpless agony coloring Elena's expression. She is frozen before him.

He works to sit up, and she comes to his side immediately to help. "Well, someone is not appreciative of Damon humor today," he quips.

Elena is still looking at him like he just told her Santa Claus is not coming to town. He squints. Why does she look like that? And what the hell happened to him?

He opened his mouth to ask one of those reasonable questions but all that came out was a pathetic, "Ugh." He gives up trying to sit up.

"Hey, do we have any blood bags left? I feel like shit."

If possible, she freezes even more at his words. Her eyes are wide, and she looks so panicked he is inclined to believe the apocalypse has finally arrived.

Fed up, he bites out, "Are you ever going to say anything?" He immediately regrets speaking so harshly as her face crumples. "Why don't you tell me why you look like the world is ending, then we can deal with it," he encourages softer than before.

"I'm so sorry." Damon watches her in confusion, but it appeared that was all she wanted to say.

"Okay… about what?" Then everything comes rushing back to him. Their fight. Her plan. Rebekah. Katherine. Being backhanded. _And then what?_ Damon thinks. Did someone vervain him or something? Even as he thinks it, he dismisses the theory. This went beyond the aftereffects of vervain.

"What happened back there? How did we get away from the terrible twosome?" Damon thought if he started simply, maybe Elena would be more inclined to talk. At first, it seemed like he was wrong, but then she replied hesitantly.

"Katherine and Rebekah ran away, so I brought you here."

"Rebekah gave up on the cure just like that?" He asked skeptically. Elena turned her head to the side, so she was no longer facing him.

"After you… fell, Katherine took off and Rebekah followed her."

"So Katherine still has the cure, huh?" Elena slowly shook her head. "So Rebekah got it then?" Once again, Elena indicated that he was wrong. He paused, "Did you get it from them somehow?" Damon asked incredulously. He had a lot of faith in Elena but taking on two of craziest, older vampires he knew by herself at a month old was a hell of a feat. She just shook her head again though. Damon sighed impatiently, "So where is the cure?"

Elena did not move. She did not speak. She just sat there staring at him. _Why is she looking at me like… No! _Damon thought with alarm. Suddenly, everything made so much more sense.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Damon roared. He looked down at his body noticing that he had a large scabbed over wound where he and the stake had their run in earlier. His head was pounding, too, which was easily explained by knocking his head on the ground when he had fallen.

He tried desperately to get up. He did not believe it, he had to see himself in the mirror. He did not know what answers his reflection could give him, but he suddenly felt too agitated to sit still.

He moved to leave the bed, but Elena immediately intervened. It was for the best since he could already tell he was not up to movement.

"Damon, please, you're hurt." Yeah, he damn well knew he was hurt! He felt it everywhere, the agony was resonating deep in his bones.

He stuck two fingers into his mouth to probe his teeth and concentrated on elongating his fangs. But his teeth stayed bluntly human. _God damn it! _

Elena continued to look at him guiltily. She was clearly blaming herself for this, and, yeah, it was partially because of her, but he would blame his psycho ex over Elena any day. Most things usually were Katherine's fault after all.

He sighed and plopped back down on the mattress. "Well, that was a horrific waste of the most sought after object since the Moonstone." It was best not to worry her. And really, it was not that big of a deal.

"At least this ends our 'cure' chapter, and we can finally move on. It's okay, don't worry. This problem has an easy fix." Elena appeared unconvinced, so he kept reassuring her.

* * *

Damon was trying to calm her down. She realized that he is probably more distressed over her reaction than his condition right now. It made her feel bad that she was unable to stay unaffected.

"Elena, relax. The solution is simple. You fed me your blood to heal me, right?" At her slow nod, he continues, "So I'll just stab myself or something and be back in the land of living dead people in no time." He is smiling carefree despite the fact that she had gone rigid at his words. Seeing her reaction, he kept going, "It's okay, don't worry. Sure, it'll be a bitch to lose my extra years of vampire strength but worst things could happen." He paused, "Normally do happen to us."

Elena has still yet to react to his words. Damon just stared at her until, with a sigh, he reached to his bag by the side of the bed. He rummaged through it for a few moments before retrieving an object that makes Elena's heart rate skyrocket.

The knife glistens in the light of the room. He draws it to him and starts to brace himself when suddenly Elena hurtles into action. "NO!" she screams. In her efforts to knock the blade away, she pretty much tackles him.

Damon lets out an "oomph" as she hits him. Elena thinks in the back of her mind that she might have seriously hurt him, but the hysteria in her mind has overtaken any other feelings. The knife flies across the room, safely out of Damon's reach.

"What the fuck?" Damon is glaring at her, "Have you lost your mind?" _Yes, because she was the one about to stab herself to death_, she thinks heatedly.

He looks at her in confusion for another second before comprehension settles over his face. "Good call, I should probably use someone else's blood. How ironic would it be if I sired you and then you sired me? We'd make vampire history," Damon quips, but there is such terror running through her veins that she cannot even fake a suitable reaction.

Damon is looking at her funny. It is probably because she has not moved since she screamed at him. She guessed that he was expecting her to be relieved over his deduction. He was wrong.

"No, Damon, you can't."

"Okay, I'll wait until I can take Blondie's blood or something. Actually, maybe Stefan's would be better because using the vampire I turn's blood is a little iffy," he is speaking so casually. _He just does not get it at all, _Elena thinks.

Now that the immediate danger to Damon's life has faded, the numbness is back and Elena can function again.

"No, Damon, you're not listening," Elena basically sneers with all the agitation at his stupidity pulsating within her. "You can't turn back. I won't let you."

Damon is staring at her in disbelief, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You have to _die_ to turn. What if it doesn't work? What if you're just _dead_?" She could feel the anger. Anger at him for not getting it, anger at herself for getting them into this mess, and anger at the world for putting her in such a position. She embraced it, with the rage consuming her every thought, the worrying emotions had all but disappeared.

"Why the hell wouldn't it work? I've been around for a hundred and sixty something years without ever having a problem!" Damon was starting to look mad himself.

"Maybe because you're the first vampire to ever be cured. What if the cure prevents you from turning back, so when you kill yourself, you just stay dead. Ever think of that?"

He looks at her aghast before a calculating look crosses his face. "Then I guess I'll just be dead."

Elena is shocked. What did he just say? But before she could voice her incredulity, he spoke again.

"Isn't that what you said to me when I asked what would happen if Elijah's elixir failed during the Sun and the Moon ritual? And weren't you oh so upset with me when I stole your choice to turn that day because I did not honor your decision?"

"I'm not honoring your choice to die!"

"Why not?! You were grateful when Stefan respected your decision to off yourself just a month ago!"

"That was different," Elena said dismissively.

"_How_? How was it different? Can't I make this choice? You're probably just being paranoid anyway."

"And if I'm not, you'll have just killed yourself. For no reason! When I asked Stefan to save Matt, it was _to save Matt_. Not just because I was choosing to kill myself."

"And what about the many times when you tried to give yourself over to Klaus, huh? Was that to save anyone?"

"Yes! It was to save everyone from Klaus' wrath!"

"Well, did it ever occur to you that I won't be able to save anyone like this? What if you get into trouble like you did just a few hours ago? What would I be able to do?"

Elena realized that he was not going to listen to her, and she could not fight his logic. She got it, she understood. That was always her problem with Damon. She understood him so completely but wished she did not, so she could prevent him from doing things that she did not want him to do.

But the difference between now and all those other times is that she could stop him. She had the power. She would not let him destroy himself.

She faced him. "I have to eat. Katherine injured me, and I haven't been able to get any blood while you were out," she says blankly. Damon looks startled and irritated over the abrupt subject change but holds his tongue for once.

So she just turns around and walks out the door without checking to see whether he is coming or not.

* * *

Elena leads Damon to the streets. He keeps finding himself stumbling. He feels completely unbalanced and woozy. He wanted to protest before he realized that Elena sitting vigil on the bedside of a blood-covered human must have drove her crazy.

He sighs, tripping again. Elena was watching him from the corner of her eye. Every so often she would start to move towards him before abruptly stopping again. He can tell she wants to help him but then her eyes harden with steely resolve and she looks away again.

He is not sure whether she has convinced herself that she has a right to be angry with him or is trying to prove how much she does not care again. He rights himself and continues to follow her.

Elena slips into an alleyway with a lone man fumbling trying to light a cigarette. Damon enters afterwards and leans against the brick wall. He felt so tired. He could not remember ever feeling this weak before. He is panting just from the effort it took to walk there!

"Do you have a smoke and a light?" Elena asks the stranger with a seductive smile tilting her lips. The man is staring at her in awe, uncomprehending of his luck probably.

"Sure, sweet cheeks. If you come a little closer, I can give it to you," the man begins flirtatiously. Damon rolls his eyes. _No charm whatsoever_.

"Don't mind if I do," Elena's smile turns into something darker. The man seems to possess better instincts that Damon first assumed because he has now grown wary. He casts a glance at Damon a few feet away and seems to sense the danger he has unwittingly put himself in.

Before he can act on his fears, Elena is in front of him staring into his eyes with widened pupils. "You will not make a sound. You will not move a muscle. You will just let me do whatever I want."

Damon frowns. The man is shivering in terror, his eyes darting to Damon pleading for help. His fear only escalates as Elena's face changes.

"Elena, take his fear away," Damon instructs. But she ignores him. In fact, she is seems to be encouraging the man's alarm. She grins, revealing her fangs, as she plays with his shirt collar. Then she leisurely starts unbuttoning his shirt and peels it down to show her his neck as the man watches helplessly with undisguised fear.

The man trembles uncontrollably and as Damon watches, tears well up in his eyes. Damon knows he is not a good guy, but he usually compels the panic out of his victims. Still, he understands the predatory thrill in having his prey completely at his mercy. He would not think twice about questioning this, but he remembers the girl before him from weeks ago. Her tears over a hunter she had killed who had been attacking her family and friends. The way she looked at him as she said she could not live with the guilt of his death. That was mostly the Hunter's Curse, but a part of her felt the pain of murdering Connor acutely and looked at her actions with revulsion.

What would that girl think when she looked back at this moment with her humanity fully in tact? Would it be the final straw to tip her over the edge?

The man is sobbing noticeably now. Elena appears satisfied as she moves towards him. Damon decides to speak up more insistently, "Elena, compel his fear away."

She pays him no heed and lightning quick strikes out at the exposed neck.

The man's mouth opens in a soundless cry of pain.

Elena is drinking sloppily. Droplets of blood are streaming down the man's skin, staining his unfortunate white shirt. The man's face crumples in terror and agony, and then it suddenly starts to relax. His horror fades to a dazed calm. Damon knows what that means.

Hunched over and clutching his abdomen, Damon decides that maybe he should intervene despite his own pain.

"Elena," he hisses. Elena is drinking fully now, completely lost in her bloodlust. Damon has never seen her so uncontrolled. He supposes that the day has been taxing on her restraint and maybe she just does not care without her humanity if she kills this random person.

With some degree of struggle, Damon grits his teeth and approaches the still feeding Elena. "Elena, stop. You're killing him." He reaches out to the preoccupied vampire to grab her shoulder. She starts to shrug him off, but he persistently tugs at her.

She drops the unfortunate man unceremoniously and turns to face the person who interrupted her meal and growls. There is no recognition on her face, and Damon worries that she is too far gone in her blood fervor. She is in that moment ever bit the animal that vampires can be.

And then his back is slammed against the alley wall by Elena for what feels like far too many times for one day to Damon.

She has wrenched his head to the side with painful force that makes him groan with the strain she has put on his beat up body. "Elena, stop!" He gasps. He tries to push her off him but realizes that he is completely outmatched in strength now.

She appears completely oblivious to him, so he rasps, "Elena, you don't want to do this!" And it is true. He cannot think of anything worse for Elena right now than killing one of her few remaining loved ones. She already shoulders the burden of her family's deaths because of her guilt, just how would she react if she actually _did_ kill someone she cared about?

His vision is blurring. He feels himself falling into the tranquility that precedes death.

He does not want her to feel bad, so he stops fighting her. He weakly raises one hand to stroke her hair like he has done so many times before to comfort her. "S'okay," he mumbles before the darkness claims him.

* * *

This. This was what she needed, had craved for so long. They denied her this, but they could not stop her now.

The fool she is sinking her teeth into is powerless to stop her. She revels in the power. She starts to feel its heart weakening and rejoices. Yes, _yes_. She is going to take its life. It is hers to take.

Just then, before she can finish the its life, she feels a touch on her shoulder. _Who dares disturb her? _Elena thinks with all the animalistic possession within her.

She spins around to face the intruder. She snarls with all the fury of a predator prevented from claiming her prey. She will just have to find a new morsel to devour then.

The food in front of her does not stand a chance. In a second, she is draining it just as surely as she was just drinking in the other piece of meat.

She likes this food source better. It is tastier, fills her mouth with delicious ecstasy. She is in rapture. She is in heaven. It may have prevented her from killing her last prey, but she has this one in her grasp. The thought fills her with carnivorous glee.

Then something changes. Her food source unclenches. It bares its neck in an open invitation and starts softly stroking her hair.

The movement reminds her of other times where she felt the same devotion and comfort. She remembered just a week ago when Damon held her to him and soothed her by doing this. She remembers a time in the Grill's bathroom where he did this to encourage her to drink from him.

_Drink from him… _

_Oh god, _Elena pulls back with a gasp. _No, no, no!_

Elena falls forward in an effort to catch him before he hits the ground. She cradles him in her lap for the second time that evening. Her eyes are blood red, and she cannot seem to make the veins disappear. She can feel the blood dripping from her lips. Damon's blood.

And it is that scene that Stefan walks in on as he appears in the mouth of the alleyway.

* * *

**Sorry for the delay. This was finished over a day ago, but I had no time to edit. Then I edited, and it didn't save, so I had to start again. Plus, I'm on vacation now.**

**This is getting a little dark which I'm worried will turn people off. And I know Damon's coming off helpless here, but it won't last. As for the switch, vampires with it off show emotion sometimes. I think Elena's can still be off even as cracks show through.**

**And I think Elena could easily lose it with no one strong enough to stop her, injured and starving. Stefan still can't control himself and he's been a vampire for 148 years. Even Caroline vamped out under duress when her father was torturing her. Elena's a month old, her control hasn't be honed yet. Please review and tell me what you think!**


	8. Out With the Old

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result"_

**- Mahatma Gandhi**

* * *

**Out With the Old**

**Chapter Seven**

Elena met Stefan's widened eyes. For a moment no one moved. Stefan continued to look at the scene before him in disbelief, and Elena felt as though her muscles had been rendered completely useless thanks to recent events. Then she snapped back to reality, Damon was hurt. She had hurt Damon.

She broke eye contact with Stefan. Her hand fluttered to Damon's neck to feel for a pulse. It was there, albeit a little weak. She was hesitant to give him her blood again because of his obvious determination to turn back- even at the cost of his own life. Did he need it? _He passed out from blood loss, obviously he needs help_, Elena scolded herself immediately. But maybe she could just take him to a hospital?

"What the hell?" She noticed that she had been so lost in her internal debate that she had fully missed Stefan's approach. He was fixated on Damon's still bleeding neck. She realized that he must have seen that she not only drank Damon's blood until he passed out, but Damon was not healing like usual.

Elena figured a little more vampire blood after all she had forced into him earlier would not make much of a difference. She raised her wrist to her mouth and bit down ignoring Stefan's still dumbfounded look. As she forced the unmoving Damon to drink, she finally met Stefan's gaze again.

"How did you find us?" She asked. Stefan looked startled at her random question, but Elena was curious and more than willing to delay the inevitable.

"When neither of you picked up your phones, I thought I'd try to find you myself," Stefan paused, his gaze growing distant. He gestured towards their hotel across the street, "Damon stayed there back in the seventies. He said it was one of his favorite places in the world, so I thought maybe he may have taken you here."

Elena had not thought it was possible, but she actually felt worse now than before. She had used Damon to get her to New York for her own secret agenda of revenge, put him in unspeakable danger, and managed to ruin his life as he knew it. All in in twenty-four hours. Damon, on the other hand, had whisked her away from all her problems, got them a room in one of his all time favorite hotels, and spent thousands of dollars on her all in an attempt to make her happy again.

_Stefan always knows the worst things to say_, Elena thought viciously. Elena recognized in the back of her mind that she was being unfair. She had asked him how he had found them after all. But in her anger she felt it was just another moment in his long-standing tradition of making her feel guilty. As if guilt was going to save her, save anyone for that matter!

She would just have to show him how much she did not care. She scoffed, "Well, I doubt it's his favorite place anymore considering he's nearly died twice at it in a day."

Belatedly, she realized that she had just opened up the discussion of what had happened to Damon, which was exactly what she had wanted to avoid in the first place. _See, emotions just make you act stupidly!_

Stefan looked at her angrily. "Yeah, did he now? So what happened between when I talked to him this afternoon and now, huh? Care to explain or should I just take a guess as to why my brother is lying half dead in an alley? Or how about why his blood suddenly smells suspiciously like a human's?"

"Because he _is_ human. And he's lying here like this because I _ate_ him," Elena taunted. It felt good to release her agitation and rage through derision and apparent apathy. She reveled in Stefan's worried face, and it helped let go of the lingering guilt for now.

Stefan moved to take Damon from her lap, but Elena refused to let him. She only drew Damon nearer to her.

"Don't you think you've done enough?" Elena bristled, but he did not say it mockingly or irritably. He appeared almost sad and weary, and it took all the enjoyment at tormenting him out of Elena.

Elena relinquished her grasp on Damon reluctantly. Stefan stood up with his limp brother in his arms and started back towards the hotel. "You can fill me in back in your room."

As Elena went to follow him, she turned back to face the alleyway. She focused her gaze on the man from before. He was staring at her lifelessly. _Oh, I suppose I did kill him then, _Elena thought unemotionally. So Damon's interference was pointless in the end.

She ignored the twinge in her gut, threw the body into a trashcan, and let Stefan lead her back to the hotel.

* * *

The three of them were dead silent the whole way back to Damon and Elena's hotel room. Damon was still unconscious, and the other two were just not interested in speaking to each other.

As Elena let them into the room, Stefan made a beeline for the bed. He stopped before setting Damon down on it. "Can you get me a towel?" Stefan asked her.

Elena just glared at him pointedly. She was not going to start following Stefan's orders. He could get his own goddamn towel!

Stefan sighed. He placed Damon onto the far right side of the bed and walked to the bathroom.

Elena had been listening to his footsteps and looked up curiously when paused for a minute. Then realization hit her. She could not see Stefan from her view from the desk chair, but she knew what had gotten to him.

"What, Stefan? Is the big bad ripper scared of a little blood?" She smirked. She had not bothered to remove the two hand towels soaked with Damon's blood from when she had washed him earlier. And now she was glad she had not. She reveled in not being the only one disturbed by the concept of a human Damon, not being the only one being unable to control the hunger for his blood. She was sick of feeling so weak and discomposed.

So she was enjoying all of this actually. No lingering feelings of guilt, no tickling sensations, and not a single care. Talking to Stefan, she felt nothing but mild irritation. And it was _glorious_. As long as she did not look at the prone figure on the bed, she had it. She had control. Over Stefan, over the switch, and over her life. It was something she had craved since she woke up to find her parents had died because she selfishly called them away from family night. It was what she had strived for as she watched every family member she had die one by one.

Stefan strode back into the room with a clean towel and without a word. He used the towel to cover the bloodstains from Damon's earlier injuries and then set Damon on top of it.

When he finally turned to face her again, she was angered at his expression. He looked almost sympathetic and that was unbelievably worse than any other potential reactions. Give her displays of violence and reigns of terror, she did not need his pity!

Elena huffed and looked out the window of the hotel room. She did not want to look at his maddening face. And she certainly did not want a view of eerily still Damon from her peripheral vision, which was guaranteed if she maintained eye contact.

"It's hard to look at, isn't it? Don't fight the guilt, you need to embrace your humanity again," Stefan commented. Elena whipped her head back to face him enraged. But Stefan just continued lecturing her with a patient look adorning his features, "It's the hardest part, facing the damage you've done. The horror you've caused. It stays with you, I would know."

"I killed one person, that hardly constitutes as a ripper binge. You would know," she scoffed as she used his own words against him.

Stefan sighed loudly, but she was once again decidedly not looking at him.

"What did you do to your hair?" Stefan asked suddenly. _Oh, yeah, _Elena thought. She had changed her hair and style. She wanted to feel more confident and powerful and leave all traces of Elena Gilbert, the selfless, martyring human behind. Well, she had partially succeeded. She had never felt less like that girl than she did now. That girl would have died before hurting someone she loved as badly as she had hurt Damon in the last twenty-four hours. But the confidence and power she was supposed to receive by ditching that girl still eluded her.

She was so weak. She could not even control her instincts long enough to not put Damon in mortal danger. Her hands clenched in her lap as she forced her remorse down again

"Elena?" She looked up and saw Stefan staring at her expectantly.

"I felt like a change. Why? Do you not like it? Because I'd _love_ to show you how much I don't care what you think," Elena sneered and felt a rush of satisfaction at Stefan's hurt face. She felt more control return to her. And it was indescribably wonderful.

"I'm trying to help, you know."

"Well, then maybe you should stop because if that's your goal, you're failing miserably."

"Fine, let's not talk about you. Let's talk about how my brother changed species in the last twenty-four hours since I last saw him. Let's talk about how the one vampire I know would rather stake himself than be cured is suddenly human again."

Fine, if he wants to know, far be it for her to deny him. It is not like she cared what he thought anyway. So she told him. She vaguely described attempting to push Damon away, but the light in Stefan's eyes during that part only made her think that he had a pretty good idea as to what had happened.

By the end of the story, Stefan finally looked angry again. _Good, let him be pissed. See if I care._

"I can't believe you," Stefan started self-righteously.

"What? You're mad at me for tricking Damon, getting him into the mess, and killing one pointless human? You've done so much worse," Elena snapped.

"And you not only killed a stranger, but you also chose to devour Damon." _Because eating Damon was obviously a "choice" I made, of course! _Elena thought viciously. How dare he act ignorant of the difficulties of controlling bloodlust to her! Talk about throwing stones from a glass house.

Before she could call him out on his hypocrisy, a hoarse voice cut in.

"It can't be helped, brother," Damon drawled dramatically, "Women have always found me irresistible and delicious. It is my cross to bear," he finished solemnly. But the effect was tainted by his obvious frailty. Even his voice illustrated his strain as he rasped the joke.

"Well, I don't think you need to be worried about that right now. There's nothing tempting about you at the moment. You look horrible," Elena sneered again to cover up the guilt at seeing him so beat up because of her. He actually did look horrible. His skin was clammy and sweaty, his face was paler than she had ever seen, he was breathing heavily, and his arms wobbled under the strain of supporting his upper body. _Not to mention he sounds like a chain smoker, _Elena thinks dryly.

Damon's eyes were carefully blank as he responded cockily, "Me, look anything less than unbearably handsome? Not possible."

But as he spoke, his arms gave up on the fight, and he fell back down to the bed. "So this is what it feels like to lose too much blood. Why did I ever bother sparing anyone the last century and a half, killing them would have been so much kinder," he quipped roughly.

Stefan sighed. "You would think that, wouldn't you? I can't believe I let you take her here alone. You're such a bad influence. You allowed her to kill someone!"

Damon stared at him in disbelief. "Well, you see, I tried to stop her and that worked out really well," he retorted gesturing to his wounded body.

"You were supposed to watch over her, make sure she did not do anything she would regret when she's back to being Elena again. I'll never let you be in charge of supervising her ever again."

"Let me? You were begging me just a few hours ago to keep her away longer-" Damon started before Elena cut him off, yelling loudly enough to completely drown out his still hoarse voice.

"I am Elena now! Damon doesn't get to control me. He doesn't need to monitor me. If I had my way, he never would be here at all. And he definitely wouldn't have been at Katherine's with Rebekah and me. Trust me, I couldn't have made it clearer that he was unwanted!" Elena was bristling. How dare they try to control her? They had no right!

* * *

Damon was fed up with everything. If Elena was going to keep telling everyone who would listen how much she wanted him gone, then he would just leave that be and focus on Stefan.

Turning to his brother, Damon asked, "Did you check on Bonnie?"

"When would I have had time to do that?" Stefan responds incredulously. "I was summoned to New York with no explanation not five hours after talking to you!"

"Great, so we don't know if she's still riding the crazy train with fellow lovely passengers such as hallucinatory Professor Creepy or potentially psycho Silas. Wonderful news to top off a wonderful night." He glanced at the clock and corrected himself, "Day."

"I could call Caroline and ask her to stop by her house," Stefan suggested.

Elena appeared to be seething in the corner. Damon got it, he really did. She was sick of being judged and desperate to make people believed she did not care even as her hold on her switch was slipping. So he understood. But that did not change the fact that he did not want to hear her wax poetical on how much she wanted to be away from him.

"We should just go back now. I'll take care of it." As he spoke, Damon started to get up. He swung his legs over the side of the bed with some degree of difficulty, looked up, and was greeted by two pairs of skeptical eyes. "What? I know I'm pretty but-"

"Damon, you need to stay out of the line of fire. You can't involve yourself in Bonnie's potential massacre," Stefan interrupted.

"Involve myself? I'm sorry I missed the memo that stated you could somehow live in Mystic Falls and _not_ be involved in 'potential massacres.'"

"Think of how dangerous it'd be to get mixed up in this as a human."

"Busboy gets mixed up in the supernatural all the time, and he is human _and_ has no discernable skills," Damon snapped. "I'm touched you're so worried about me," he continued, placing a hand on his chest in a mockery of affection, "But there is a simple solution." Damon shot a smug glance at the visibly angered Elena and continued, "Just give me some of your blood and then- presto change-o, no more human me-o." He waved his hand around theatrically, "And viola!"

Stefan looked uneasy though. "How do we know that you'll come back? What if the cure negates the normal effects of vampire blood?"

"We don't know, which is why we're not doing obviously. Damon's just being a moron." Elena was sending him a scathing glare. He did not know what her problem was; he was not the one who was calling people morons.

Determined to salvage the situation, "Well, luckily I'm well past my expiration date."

Now Stefan was glaring at him, too. "No, let's see if we can get more information before doing anything rash."

"Ah, Stef, always the voice of reason. Except when you're being a idiot- like now. Who the hell are we going to get more information from? Do you know any vampire who's been cured before?" Damon drawled sarcastically, "Because if you do, by all means, please elaborate."

"And you're functioning as the voice of reason? You're proposing we just kill you and hope you come back to life." Stefan was clearly done with the conversation, but his words reminded Damon of a time he did kill someone and just assumed they would come back.

With a quick glance at Elena before deciding tactful was not his thing anyway, Damon spoke up, "Okay, so what if I wear the Gilbert ring? Then if I don't come back as a vampire, I'll just come back as this useless being." It was a solid plan because he would have to pay at least a couple more visits to the Grim Reaper before he started developing his own Mr. Hyde.

And he could not accept that he would not be able to turn back. The idea of Elena and Stefan leaving him behind scared him more than he could admit. Humanity really does mean nothing if you do not have anyone to care about.

"No," Elena barked at him. Her entire demeanor had changed at his words. She appeared murderous, rigid and terrified all at once. He knew that bringing up the Gilbert ring would remind her of Jeremy, but everyone had been doing that and received less of a response. Hell, she smiled at his funeral. What gives? Did her humanity actually come on again? He thought it was just weakening.

"Why not? I'm human now, why not utilize what is virtually the only advantage to being this species?"

"Because," she growled, "The ring is not specific to humans, it only works on the natural. No supernatural entity benefits from it which is why I could never use it even as a human. And my only supernatural ability was to look like my ancestor. Why would it work on a twenty-two year old who was born in 1842? What's natural about that?"

"Between the ring and the vampire blood, something is bound to work. It definitely beats waiting around on the sidelines with Busboy to get killed."

"Oh, so waiting around to be killed is worse than actively trying to kill yourself," Stefan intervened. "And who's to say you won't just be able to live a full life and die of old age?"

_Die of old age? _Damon thought. The concept was so strange, he spent so long sure that would never be a possibility for him. This did not seem like his life. And really, it was not an option. If his brother would just remove his head from his idealistic ass, Stefan would know that, too.

"Seriously, you think I'll live that long? I nearly get myself killed every week in Mystic Falls just trying to keep everyone alive. And the human life expectancy there is what? If you're not dead by forty, it's a miracle." He could tell Stefan and Elena did not understand, so he put it bluntly for them. "Name one human outside of Quarterback and Liz who has known about the supernatural for over a month and is still alive? And those two don't even get involved most of the time with what happens. Caroline got caught up in the crossfire despite being oblivious, we tried everything to keep Elena alive and that failed spectacularly, and what about the other humans? John? Jenna? Carol? Jeremy? _Alaric_? How stupid are you to think I could even last a year like this!"

Damon paused to gauge the effect his words were having. Stefan had his teeth clenched, but his expression was pained. Elena had her emotions pushed down so far, it was hard to tell. But he knew he had gotten to both of them, they knew the truth. "You want me to not die, here is a hint, let me turn back."

Dead silence permeated the room after Damon finished speaking. No one seemed willing to break it. Usually Damon would crack a joke and lighten the atmosphere, but he needed Stefan or Elena to cave now.

Damon did not fear death or torture. What he feared most was uselessness and helplessness. And that was all being human could get him. He could not bear to watch people he cared about get hurt or die and be powerless to do anything about it.

Finally Elena interrupted the quiet, invoking her previous tactic when faced with his determination to turn back and one of his personal favorites: deflection. "Let's just go back. I'm sick of this city and talking about this."

Stefan apparently agreed. "We'll look for some potential sources to give us an idea of what might happen before doing anything unfixable."

"Great, you do that, and I'll just find one of the many vampires I know who don't give a crap whether I live or die and get their blood." If they wanted to be stupid, that was their fault. Damon was not going to be caught up in their paranoia and idealism.

They seemed doubtful that he would be able to pull off what he said he would do. They should know better than to assume anything was beyond him when he was backed into a corner.

Stefan sighed. "Let's go. I got a flight here because I was told to hurry, so we'll have to take your car," he said looking at Damon.

Letting it go for the time being Damon enthused, "Great, road trip! But neither of you better start purging your feelings again. You can go on Maury for that shit. I'd rather take my chances of this weak, human body surviving a jump from the car window than play Dr. Phil to the two of you."

* * *

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate it. Glad to see that human Damon hasn't caused that many of you to jump ship. Though some people did unfollow the story and whatnot. ****So now you see fully the conflict of Damon turning back. Next chapter takes us back to MF and all that never ending drama.**

**This chapter's a little shorter but I wanted to close off the NYC chapter first. I guess it's kind of a filler. I think I'm going to start doing every other day updates while I'm on vacation at least. If you like the story, **_**please **_**review!**


	9. To Catch a Vampire

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books."_

**-Samuel Butler**

* * *

**To Catch a Vampire**

**Chapter Eight**

"Two bourbons, neat," Damon tells the bartender without preamble as he slid onto his usual seat at the Grill's bar. He pushed down a wince at the movement. Elena and Stefan had refused to give him any more blood since it was not a life-threatening injury, and they were still going on about how he was going to go all Kamikaze on them.

He noticed Mystic Falls' Most Valuable Quarterback staring at him from the other side of the bar but chose to ignore him. Having a one on one chat with Matt Donovan could actually be the final straw in making this the worst fucking week of his would be eternity.

But since luck had not been on his side for as long as he can remember, he saw the Mystic Grill uniform move closer to him. The other bartender placed his drinks down before him, and Damon edged one towards the vacant seat beside him.

Bracing himself for what would almost certainly be a painful conversation, Damon downs his bourbon in one quick gulp before turning to the kid.

Matt was gaping at him stupidly, frozen in front of him. _What the hell is his problem? _Damon thinks irritated.

"It's rude to stare, you know," Damon remarked offhandedly. That forced Quarterback out of his daze.

"Uh right, I just thought I'd warn you that Mayor Hopkins came by and put vervain in all our drinks, but I guess maybe he missed one…?" Matt trailed off uncertainly.

Damon knew the truth though. Vervain just would not affect him any more since he had been cured. He would have to warn Elena, Stefan and Caroline after he left though. He sighed. He felt pathetic for not even being able to notice that there was vervain in his drink at all. His senses were pitifully dull now.

He could not stay like this.

Matt had apparently decided that was not all he wanted to say to him unfortunately. "So I heard from Caroline that you took Elena out of town." He paused there as if he actually expected Damon to say something in return. "I was wondering, how is she?" Matt asked genuinely albeit hesitantly.

"Super duper and walking on sunshine," Damon replied sarcastically while signaling the bartender who was actually doing his job to refill his glass.

Matt opened his mouth, probably to say something to prove how sincerely he wanted to know about Elena's wellbeing or maybe just to call Damon a dick when he paused. He was staring at Damon's fingers wrapped around the now full again glass.

"Hold on, why are you wearing Jeremy's ring?" Damon looked down to where the jock's gaze was focused on. Upon returning to Mystic Falls, Damon went to the hiding place where he had stashed the thing after Elena tossed it to him during her meltdown. He had intended to give it back to her when she had her humanity back, but he had decided that he should start wearing it just in case Elena was wrong about him being too "unnatural" for it to work. It looked kind of strange to be wearing two, distinctive, bulky rings at the same time. But Damon could not bring himself to take off his daylight ring even though he did not need it anymore. He had been wearing it for a hundred and fifty years after all. Besides, if he got his way, Damon would need it again soon enough.

Damon was spared from answering when Vampire Barbie burst through the doors of the Grill and called out to him.

"Greetings, Blondie," he says while wagging his eyebrows in a way he knew the vampire in front of him would hate. Caroline did not look angry with him, which was always a rare occasion. Though he did enjoy riling her up, so maybe he would change that.

Caroline's face was actually drawn in concern, and he could only hope that Stefan and Elena had made good on their promises to keep his… condition a secret for now. The last thing he wanted was for Klaus or any of the numerous other people who would delight in killing him to know he was vulnerable. Fortunately, he was sure Little Miss Sunshine would never be that concerned about his wellbeing anyway.

"What happened while you were away?! You just take off with Elena without a word and then Stefan tells me you're in New York for whatever reason. But you're only gone for half a day before something causes Stefan to totally freak out and up and leave. Then all three of you return as if nothing is weird- though it _so _is- but Stefan is obviously going crazy over something. And then Elena is also acting really strange. She was all quiet bitch and now she is all…" Caroline struggles to explain Elena's current state of mind, wildly waving her arms as if to indicate something, "Worried? I don't know, but it's not the same as she was twenty-four hours ago. She's super on edge, and Stefan's just so much _worse_. I'm worried about him!" Damon tried to fight the grimace making its way to his expression at Caroline's words about the people he cared most about- and the fact that she is invading his personal space, loudly ranting in his face. Damon's pretty sure he is losing that battle though. "And oh my god, I just know something horrible happened _again_, and they won't tell me!"

Well, at least his brother and Elena were good for their words on this.

When he failed to answer, Caroline let out an irritated huff before she reached across for Damon's newly filled drink.

"You don't want to do that," Damon warned, but Caroline only tossed him a smug look. She thought he was speaking up about having his drink taken, not because Damon was trying to help her out. _Oh well, she'll learn the hard way, _Damon thought carelessly.

As he expected, the second the liquid graced her lips, she froze and starting coughing and choking uncontrollably.

"What the hell, Damon?" She hoarsely whispered, "Why are you drinking vervain-filled bourbon?" Some of the patrons had looked up during her fit, but after Damon pretended to pat her back reassuringly, they all returned to their own business.

"I tried to tell you," Damon smirked at her, "Mister Mayor has apparently decided that if he can't spike our water supply, he'd just dump vervain in every drink at the only bar in this town."

"But you were just drinking it without a problem!" Matt complained.

'Was I?" Damon responded in a blasé manner without sparing the dumfounded teenager a glance.

Matt turned and started apologizing to the still gasping blonde. "Care, I am so sorry. I should have warned you, but when Damon drank it without getting burned, I just assumed the Mayor had missed a bottle."

"Wait, you drank that, Damon?!" Caroline was staring at him in open-mouthed disbelief. Damon attempted to disregard her fevered attempt at answers and just reached towards Ric's untouched bourbon. When he just started drinking it casually, Caroline exclaimed, "What the hell? I know your vervain tolerance isn't that good!"

Damon studiously ignored the confusion emanating from both of them and asked an actually important question. "Have either of you seen Bonnie in the last couple days?"

Matt was squinting at him bewildered, he was clearly still lost in the last couple minutes' events. Caroline, on the other hand, was easily distracted by his question.

"Don't think I'm letting you off the hook just yet, you're going to spill your guts by the time I'm through with you!" _Great, he couldn't wait, _he thought sarcastically. "But to answer your question, no. I think someone else has, right?" She posed her uncertainty to the other two.

"Who else would have checked up on her, Blondie? The hero squad is not exactly functioning at full capacity right now."

"Well, I was busy with everything and still trying to get ahold of Tyler, but I thought that maybe Jer-… no, I guess Elena, wait of course not…" Caroline trailed on and appeared to be guilty at the realization that no one was left to keep an eye on Bonnie but her and Matt really. "Matt, have you?" Caroline asked hopefully.

"Uhh no, I've been working more to cover some bills. I had to move out of Elena's house remember because it's umm gone," he finished lamely.

"Well, Witchy is definitely on leave from the loony bin. Someone should be trying to talk some sense into her."

"If you're so worried, why don't you take care of it, huh Damon? And I don't think it's that bad, denial is the first step in the grieving process," Caroline snapped back naively.

"I was just over at her house two days ago, but really? You've selected me to be the one to get through to a crazy Bonnie." Caroline looked a little awkward at that, no doubt realizing the lack of logic to her suggestion. "Besides, she's way worse than a normal grieving person. Most people reeling from the loss of their ex don't plot to sacrifice twelve people and bring back every supernatural being since the dawn of time." Damon let that hang in the air for a minute, returning to his drink.

"Well, it's that Shane guy who's corrupting her, right? So we just have to get her away from him and problem solved!" Caroline's smile was strained but as per usual, her optimism was still in tact.

"Except the Nutty Professor is a corpse back on Harper's Island and whomever Bonnie is talking to is _not_ him," Damon stated bluntly, destroying her plan.

"What?"

His words had succeeded in taking the wind out of Caroline's sails, but it did not bring him any pleasure. He had no idea what the hell they should do. And Rebekah's creepy comment from the other day about Silas potentially being anyone had unfortunately gotten to him. He did not know why he paid Barbie Klaus' paranoia any heed, but his instincts were telling him something was wrong. And in one hundred and sixty something years, he had learned to trust them.

"So who has Bonnie been talking to then?" Caroline asked.

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" Damon finished off his bourbon in a gulp and made to leave without further comment.

"Wait a second," Caroline started. She reached out and grabbed his hand and looked at him angrily. "Where do you think you're going?" It was then that she glanced down and noticed the new addition on his fingers. "Is that Jeremy's ring?"

_Ugh, how did I get stuck here with this? _Damon thought as he subtly tried to tug his hand free. He did not want to let on that he lacked his normal strength.

"Why do you have it?"

"You were there," Damon replied as he still attempted to get her to loosen her grip, "Elena gave it to me. Now, let go."

"No! You should give it to someone who can actually use it, like Matt!" Caroline gestured to Matt who was shuffling awkward and uselessly. He was throwing the two of them glances as if he would rather be anywhere else at the moment. Damon knew the feeling.

"No, now get off me, Barbie!"

Caroline ignored him unsurprisingly and starting squeezing his unfortunate hand until the bones succumbed to her harsh grip. Then she reached out and slipped the ring off his now prone hand.

Damon could not help but let out a tight gasp. "What the hell, Barbie?" He demanded enraged as he cradled the hurt hand to his chest.

"Oh, come on. You're probably already healed by now. Stop your whining!" Caroline turned towards the uncomfortable looking bartender and said cheerfully, "Here you go, Matt!"

"Uhh, I don't know, Care," he risked a glance at the visibly irritated Damon, "Don't these things drive you, you know, crazy?"

"Give it back," Damon growled at the oblivious blonde.

"Don't be such a drama queen, you can't even use it. And you have to die a lot for them to do that, Matt. This is just for insurance. Trust me, it's for the best." She smiled at the unsure boy winningly.

"I'm okay, thanks." Matt has diverted his attention though and is staring at the still pained Damon in confusion.

Damon figured that was his cue to leave. Blondie and the Quarterback may be slow to the uptake, but surely they were not _that_ stupid. They were five seconds from realizing what had happened.

Damon slid off the bar seat without another word, mindful of his older injuries as well as his newly wounded hand. He determinedly kept the obvious injury to his side as he attempted to appear normal.

"Damon," Caroline started slowly and seriously looking down at the place she had just grabbed, "Why hasn't your hand healed?" Before he could mutter some excuse and make a break for it, she continued with dawning comprehension, "And why were you wearing the Gilbert ring? And why didn't the vervain affect you? Oh my god, what the hell is going on? Is this why Stefan and Elena are acting so weird?" Every question was spoken louder and louder.

Her eyes were wide and she was about two seconds from hysterics. Damon didn't do hysterical girls, so he continued to edge away without answering her. Even Quarterback now seemed aware of what had happened. _Great, _Damon thought sarcastically, _just what I need. _

"What happened? How did this," she gestured wildly towards his body, "Happen?! I thought we were getting the cure for Elena! Or Klaus! Or, I don't know, anyone but _you_," she hissed the last part accusingly.

"Well, outside your frenzied teenage lives of important things like Xboxes and curling irons, things don't always go to plan."

"Be serious, Damon!" Caroline hissed, "What are we going to do?"

"Not talk about it here," Damon replied unhelpfully.

"No, no, no! We are so talking about it here," Caroline shook her head, blonde curls bouncing frantically to match her mood.

"Okay then. Let's fix it here and now. Just give me a teeny bit of your blood, snap my neck, and we'll be done with it all."

Caroline looked at him hesitantly, "If it's that simple, why haven't you done that yet with Stefan or Elena?"

"Because they seem to think the cure will counteract the process or some overcomplicated magical mumbo jumbo and I'll just be _dead _dead. Luckily, you don't care whether I live or die."

Caroline now looked stricken. "Damon, I can't do that to Stefan or Elena. We're trying to get Elena to turn her humanity back on despite her crappy life, we can't just kill you. How can you be so selfish as to ask that?"

"I thought you believed Elena didn't love me? So it won't matter, right?"

"Elena only thought she was in love with you because the sire bond, but she still cared about you. Hello, she cared about everyone she met before she flipped the switch! You dying is not going to help her at all."

"Oh, come on, I've saved your neck multiple times, the least you can do is break mine," Damon wheedled.

"No, no way. I'm not doing it. And you can't go kill yourself right now. Haven't you been listening to me? We need to regroup and deal with everything!"

"Fine, you and the Justice League can go have a team powwow, leave me out of it. I'll be off trying to actually get stuff done."

With that, he swiped the ring on the counter where Busboy had left it and made to leave before he stopped abruptly at the sight of the group entering the Grill.

Mister Mayor had apparently decided to return with Liz and some random deputy. _You have got to be kidding me._

"Everyone clear out, this place has been deemed hazardous to its patrons' health," he announced to the people around. Immediately, Mystic Falls oh so intelligent citizens began to desperately flee the "hazardous" environment.

Damon just sat back down on the stool and reached for the bottle of bourbon again. No use in trying to leave now.

"Hey!" Matt called coming around the bar after everyone had left. The place was now empty save for him, Blondie, the Goon Squad and Damon himself. "You can't just do that, we've passed all our inspections. Some of us need to work to pay for a living, you can't just run our customers out. What gives?"

"Sorry, son, but there is a matter of grave importance to be dealt with. Step away kids from the dangerous beast," the Mayor said indicating towards Damon.

Both Caroline and Matt looked to him. Neither seemed particularly frightened of the monstrous threat that the Mayor was referring to for obvious reasons.

Damon knew with his new condition that the closest thing to a "dangerous beast" in there was now Caroline. The thought was so laughable that he started smirking to himself even as he ignored the asshole attempting to get him. _His daughter is Bonnie and he is here with Liz, has no one told him that Caroline is part of the undead?_

_Guess not. _

He set down the bourbon and turned to face the crowd behind him. "I do love being the center or attention, but what's this all about, hmm?"

Mister Mayor and the deputy were pointing guns presumably filled with wooden bullets at him. He noticed Liz was assuming a more casual stance and did not seem alarmed at all. _Yeah, because she's not a complete idiot like the other two._

"Damon Salvatore," she began tiredly, "We're going to have to take you in on suspicion of threatening a public official."

He retracted his earlier thought. She had to be lacking brain cells if she was pulling this move.

Well, it was time for him to blow this joint. Quickly, he reached out a pulled the Quarterback by the scruff of his neck in front of him. Grasping him in a headlock, he held the boy to him as a human shield.

"Uh, what the hell, man?" Proving he really did not have the basic modicum of intelligence, Matt remained relaxed against him even as he questioned his actions. Given that he knew Damon was mortal now and was unlikely to kill any of Elena's friends anyway, this made sense but was ticking Damon the hell off.

"Act scared, dumbass," he hissed in the kid's ear. Loudly, he addressed the group in front of him. "I have taken this brat as insurance. Any wrong moves and I will turn him into a creature of the undead, night, whatever." He laughed dramatically maniacal then, pulling his best Dracula impression.

He caught sight of Liz rolling her eyes at him from his peripheral vision. Okay, so maybe he was laying it on a bit thick. But she said nothing, so he did not care. Caroline was looking at him comically. It seemed the only people who bought his act were Mister Mayor and his helpless sidekick, but that was all he needed.

He inched around them and outside, still holding the unresisting Matt to him. Seriously, the kid failed as an actor. No talent whatsoever. He could not even pretend to struggle or be terrified.

The second they were out of sight, Damon let him go and jogged to his car. He heard Matt sigh behind him.

He started his Camaro up and glanced into his rearview mirror as he sped away. Matt was shaking his head and making no move to return to the building. If he was not such a pathetic fake hostage, Damon might have given him points for that.

About five minutes into his drive, Damon got a text from Caroline:

**Mom told me to tell you that you're now a fugitive from justice. Great going, jerk. **

_She makes it sound like this is a new thing for me, _Damon thought as he parked his Camaro outside his intended destination.

He needed some answers. He leisurely walked up the steps and approached the house. He chuckled under his breath briefly at the irony of him coming here considering what just happened but just brushed it off with a smirk.

He rapped on the door and waited impatiently for Bonnie to come answer it.

* * *

**Well that took longer than expected. Sorry, I went somewhere without internet and couldn't post this. And then I had a big health scare. Hope you're still interested in the story despite the wait and the end of the hiatus.**

**It makes me sad that so many people seem to dislike Elena but I can't make her likable, keep her humanity off, have her interact with Damon, and make her distinct from Katherine for now. Just have some patience there.**

**It's a shorter, lighter chapter but I hope you liked it anyway. Please review!**


	10. The Beginning's Done and the End's Begun

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there."_

**-Edwin Louis Cole**

* * *

**The Beginning is Done and the End has Begun**

**Chapter Nine**

_Elena could not shake the foreboding feeling threatening to overwhelm her. She was trembling as she walked steadily on._

_Everything was dark. Everywhere she looked was blackness that had consumed every inch of life. It crawled into her skin and made a home there. She felt the blackness permeate her every pore and felt nothing. _

_Elena continued to go forward even as she could not see where the road was taking her or even what path she was following._

_Suddenly she caught sight of a patch of dead Earth in front of her lit up as if under a spotlight. She increased her pace, eagerly making her way towards the light. It had been so long…_

_As she drew closer, however, a sight greeted her that made her slow down. There was a figure, dark like everything else around her. But she could feel this being in her bones. Something was wrong, very wrong._

_When she was only a foot away, she stopped just outside the circle of light. She did not belong there anyway._

_The tingling sensation was back again with a vengeance. _

_Suddenly, the figure turned over. "Elena, please. Help me," her brother rasped desperately. Blood was pooling in his mouth and dribbling down his chin. He was covered in it. His eyes stared at her wretchedly hazy with pain. _

_Elena was rigid. She could not have moved even if she wanted to. And she did not want to at all, she had no desire to get closer to Jeremy. She wanted nothing more than to run away._

"_Why won't you help me?" Jeremy yelled abruptly. "You just let this happen to me. It's your fault!"_

_Elena could feel wetness trailing down her cheeks and still she could not move._

_And then Jeremy was gone and Elena was gaping at the wounded figure of Alaric. "I should have gotten away from you while I had the chance," Ric coughed. "Everyone around you dies."_

"_It's true," her mother said as her image replaced Ric's. "You're the reason your father and I are gone." As she spoke, her father appeared and her voice transformed into his._

_Elena fell to her knees now shaking uncontrollably. Her eyes shut tightly as she attempted to block out the painful condemnations. But it was of no use, she listened as her father and then Aunt Jenna berated and blamed her for killing them. _

_Then it stopped. Everything was quiet. Elena kept her eyes closed anyway for fear of what she would see when she opened them._

"_Elena," a new voice croaked softly. _

_At that her eyes flew open because that was not a voice she should being hearing here. She crawled forward to the terrifying sight in front of her. _

_The figure had multiple vampire bite marks on his neck, which was sloped at an unnatural and awkward angle. He coughed and tried to reach her again. "Please, it hurts."_

"_What? No, no, no, you're fine, Damon. You're alive and fine. I just saw you! You're fine! You're still with me!" She was shrieking now because Damon's eyes had closed, and he was not moving anymore. _

"_Damon?! Damon, say something!" She started shaking him violently but he did not react at all._

"_Damon!"_

Elena's eyes opened slowly and all remnants of the nightmare were chased away by the sunlight filtering in through Damon's window. He did not like her sleeping in his bed, but he did not really complain either. Anyway, she did not particularly care what Damon wanted. He was on a suicide mission, so his wants were not something she would be listening to anytime soon.

Damon had left early that morning. She had awoken to the sounds of him rustling through his wardrobe. She had considered following him but felt no need to. He only ever went one place anyway.

Elena stripped her nightclothes off efficiently. She yanked on a pair of jeans and grabbed a blouse as she left the room still partially unclothed and headed down the stairs.

She was still pulling on her shirt when Stefan loudly cleared his throat behind her.

_Well, he can do that all he wants, I'm not stopping, _Elena thought as she continued on her way. She wanted to get to the Grill quickly before Damon had enough time to do something impossibly idiotic and impulsive. For Damon, Elena thought a couple hours was more than enough time for that.

"Elena," Stefan called unperturbed.

Finally, Elena spun around and proceeded to just stare at him impatiently.

Eventually he continued, "We should talk about everything. We need to get Caroline and the others to stop worrying about the cure." That was true she supposed. Caroline had come over last night while Damon was elsewhere drinking himself into an oblivion.

_They had only been back a few hours before Damon had stormed off in a huff. He had studiously ignored the two of them for the entire car ride from New York to Mystic Falls. That suited Elena just fine, if he was going to pout so be it._

_But not long after he left, someone else came barreling through the Salvatore boarding house front door._

"_Caroline," Stefan greeted tiredly. Elena could tell from the tension evident in his stance that the recent events had taken its toll on him. He tried to twist his expression into something warmer and less depressing but not looking miserable had never been Stefan's strong suit anyway. "What brings you here so late?"_

_Caroline stared at him strangely, she could obviously see through his happy act. "Well, I heard you guys were back from wherever you went and wanted some answers." Stefan opened his mouth as if to reply when Caroline continued excitedly, "But also I have some news." She was bouncing on the balls of her feet enthusiastically._

_When she did not receive the response she was looking for, Caroline huffed. "Okay, what's wrong with the two of you? You both look miserable. Why died?" Immediately, she froze realizing what she had just said and glanced at Elena apologetically. Apparently she was over their fight enough that she did not want to bring up Jeremy's death in front of Elena. It did not matter though, Elena did not care._

"_No one," Stefan quickly intervened, "It's just been a long couple days."_

"_Oh, yeah? And where were these days? You guys just all up and left!"_

"_We went to New York."_

"_New York? What took you there?" Before Stefan could even make up a lie, Caroline charged on. "And seriously, what's with all the sad faces? What's wrong?" At this she looked to Elena who was perched on the couch in front of the living room's fire._

"_Nothing," Elena replied blankly not even bothering to look up from the book she was reading._

"_We were in New York for a cure lead that uhh turned out to be a bust," Stefan started but his words caused Caroline's excitement to return full force. _

"_Well, then it's a good thing for you guys that I have a lead!" Elena finally glanced up and saw that Stefan looked stricken with the turn the conversation had taken. "So Klaus let slip that he has someone on the inside with Katherine. She's been feeding him all sorts of information, and Klaus thinks that he has enough to find her." Finally noticing Stefan's worried look, she was quick to reassure. "Don't worry, Klaus doesn't want the cure. He just wants to make sure Katherine can't use it on him, and of course he also wants to kill her. She killed me, so I can't say I'm sorry. And we'll finally have the cure! Isn't that great?" _

_Stefan pulled himself together and tried to discourage Caroline subtly. "I think that maybe we should take a step back from the cure."_

"_What, why? That will just give Rebekah or whoever a chance to take it!"_

"_I don't want it," Elena suddenly cut in, "So why don't you take your useless news elsewhere and stop bothering me."_

_Caroline glared at her. Then she abruptly stopped, tilted her head to the side and starting studying Elena. "What happened to you?" She whispered. _

"_What?" Elena snapped. _

"_You look different," she paused uncertainly, "More affected."_

_Elena gritted her teeth. She was sick of being judged by her and everyone. Why could Caroline keep her big fat nose out of her business anyway?_

_Stefan purposely stepped between them. "Caroline, who's Klaus' informant anyway?" _

"_Huh? Oh yeah, it's Hayley. I guess she was working with Katherine all along. Can't say I'm surprised."_

_Elena stood up and walked out of the room. They were bothering her, and it was not like the cure hunt could be of much use to anyone anymore._

"What's there to talk about? We just tell the queen to get the hell out of my business and get over this useless cure hunt," Elena replied dismissively. Then she blurred out before Stefan could protest.

* * *

"_Care to explain why the water is suddenly vervain-free and the Mayor came up to me in the Grill to say 'keep your psychotic brother away from me, I am not a man to be crossed.'" _If Damon had known that the Mayor was going to waste his time like this, he might have listened to his brother when he tried to warn him. Oh well.

"Bonnie, open up!" He kept rapping on the door with no response. What the hell was taking her so long?

Suddenly, the door opened. "Damon?" Bonnie looked at him questioningly. "What are you doing here?"

"On the run from the cops and your dad. Shhh, don't tell," he replied sarcastically as he brushed past her and into the house. He noticed the television was on in the next room over and what sounded like a news report. She was watching the news? Seriously?

"Wait, how did you just do that?" Bonnie looked at him surprised. He thought he could see a little fear in her eyes, too, but did not understand why.

"Do what?"

"Come in. You just walked in through the door."

"Yeah..." he drawled, "What's your point?"

"Well, how can you? You've never been invited in."

Damon appraised her carefully now. She seemed to be serious. "Bonnie, you invited me in just the other day." Not that it would have mattered anyway considering he was human, but she did not need to know that.

"I did what?" Bonnie looked really afraid now, and Damon got the feeling that it was not all about him. "Oh, no." She spun around and started walking further into the house.

"Judgy, wait. Where are you going?" Damon followed her irritated. It was as if everyone wanted to waste his time today.

Bonnie had come to a stop in her living room. She was staring blankly at the television screen for some reason.

"Okay, Looney Tunes, do I need to bring Nurse Ratched in here?" He looked to see what was so important that she had to watch it right now and stopped.

"Police are left baffled over this mystery," an inappropriately cheery news anchor's voice chirped. "Twelve women from all over the Southern United States were found dead out by Hickory Road last night. Stranger still was the fact that eleven of them were situated in a circle around the twelfth. Family members of one of the victims claim that they had never met any of the others. And all but one body appears unharmed. The other had been stabbed in the chest. Medical reports say that the wound may have been self-inflicted and are left reeling over the fate of the rest of them. Ritual suicide? Tragic accident? The world may never know. Back to you, Susan."

Dead silence permeated the room as Bonnie shut off the television. "I've seen their faces," Bonnie began. "I saw them in a dream I just had. They were witches. They were trying to help me, and I was too strong. They linked up, and I stabbed the one touching me with the knife she was holding." She looked at Damon now, "It was just a dream though, right? Because I would never do that."

"Uh huh, right. So this happened last night according to Channel Nine, and you don't remember even inviting me into the house two days before. I gotta say, Broom Hilda, it's not looking good."

Bonnie glared at him before she collapsed onto the couch. "I don't understand what happened, I remember we failed to get the cure and then Jeremy…" She trailed off and her eyes welled up with tears. "But then nothing! What's going on?"

Just then, Damon's phone beeped. He glanced down at the text from Blondie:

**S.O.S. Come to the quarry, now!**

_What the hell is going on? She must be crazy if she thinks I'm going to give myself over to the cops. _

As Damon considered if he should respond or go to her, he heard the creak of the front door opening.

"Bonnie, I'm home. Whose car is that out front?" That was his cue to go. Before anyone could say anything more, Damon made a beeline for the backdoor and ran to his car. He saw Papa Mayor look at him shocked through the window but he was too late.

Guess that decided it. He would just go to the quarry then.

* * *

Damon was only minutes into his drive when suddenly a figure appeared in front of his car. "What the fuck?" He slammed on the brakes and glared at the obstruction. "You have got to be kidding me? What if I hit you? Do you know what that would do to my car?"

Elena looked unconcerned as she climbed into the passenger side of his Camaro. "I went to the Grill and found out you were a criminal on the run, sound like you had a fun morning," she commented mildly not looking like she cared whatsoever. "Where are we going?"

"_I _was going to the quarry. I got a 911 text from Vampire Barbie and figured I had nothing better to do, so I may as well go find out what's got her so worked up. It may even be something as exciting and dangerous as a broken curling iron," he wriggled his eyebrows at her. Damon started the car back up and continued on the way. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Looking for you," Elena said blankly. She did not elaborate.

Damon sighed. "Getting answers out of you is like pulling teeth nowadays." He parked his car at his destination and climbed out.

Elena trailed after him as he walked through the woods and into the quarry to find-

Nothing.

There was nothing there whatsoever. _What the hell is Blondie pulling?_ He looked around a bit and was greeted by boring nature and nothing at all important. What a waste of time.

He turned around to return to the car when he noticed Elena staring curiously at something on the ground. He approached her as saw Caroline cracked phone in the grass.

Damon looked around with new urgency. Blondie was not the type to let her precious I-phone break nor was she the type to forget it in the middle of nowhere. But Damon could not see anything besides trees, rocks, and the water. _Wait._

Damon advanced toward the water curiously. "Elena, can you come here?" She sighed irritated but moved to his side regardless. He dipped his fingertips into the water a touched her arm carefully.

Immediately, her skin started sizzling. "Oww, what the hell?" Elena hissed, but Damon ignored her. He knew where Caroline was now.

Quickly, he bent to remove his shoes and socks and then stripped off his shirt and pants and dove into the water.

He soon became infuriated with himself. His body was now so useless. He told Elena weeks ago that vampires did not like to swim, and that was true, but at least they were good at it! The last time he had swam with human abilities was 1864. And he was injured still from his getaway with Elena to the city.

He surfaced and took a gulp of air. He was sure she was here. His vision was not what it used to be, but he was positive he could still find her. Holding his breath again, he submerged once more.

Feeling along and scanning the bottom of the lake, Damon spotted something through his blurred vision. He made his way towards the golden hair attached to a mangled body. He wrapped his hands under Caroline's armpits ignoring the way her blistered skin felt and pushed upwards.

Damon coughed and breathed deeply as he tried to pull Blondie's dead weight alongside him. It was easier said then done with his weak human body. _The second this is over, I am finding a way to turn back, _he swore._ This is ridiculous!_

He finally reached the shore and pulled Caroline's prone body up away from the water. He spluttered from the water that had entered his lungs accidentally. "A little help here?" He snarled towards Elena who was just watching them with mild curiosity.

"Do I look like I want to get burned by vervain?"

Damon growled even as he finally succeeded in dragging Caroline far enough away from the toxic lake. She was not moving and with a sigh, Damon realized what he would have to do.

As he positioned himself above Caroline's face, Damon was yanked back by an enraged Elena.

"What are you doing?" Elena demanded even as she disregarded the way her skin burned from the contact with Damon.

"Mouth to mouth, Blondie clearly drank half the lake."

"No," Elena hissed. She looked uncomfortable at the idea and his caviler way of informing her.

"Well, if you feel so passionate about it, how about you give it to her. I'll just watch from here," Damon smirked.

When Elena just snarled, Damon moved to do CPR. He may as well do chest compressions if nothing else to try and pump the water up. After a few doses of pressure, Caroline came alive coughing painfully and crying.

_Ugh, comforting women is not my thing. _Damon grabbed his abandoned clothes and debated whether or not he should use them to soak up some of the vervain coating Caroline's skin. He really did not want to ruin them. But Blondie's sobs were so loud that Damon finally caved. She better buy him a new John Varvatos shirt after this though.

"Shhh, Caroline, it's over." He dabbed her face with the cloth to try and dab away the vervain. Unfortunately, she did not seem to be healing much.

Elena was looking over his shoulder unhelpfully and made no move to do anything at all. Suddenly, Caroline's bawling calmed down and even through the burns covering her face, Damon could see the outline of veins crawling down from her eyes. They encompassed her cheeks, and when Caroline's eyes shot open, they were filled with blood.

Too late, Damon realized what was about to happen. "Wait-" was all he got open before she shot forward and attached herself to his neck. She tore into it savagely and completely out of control. Damon grimaced in pain, but then the five foot eight blond vampire menace was wrenched off of him.

Elena tossed Caroline aside easily. Then she grabbed her and moved as if to throw Caroline back into the lake.

"Elena, stop!" Damon was starting to feel dizzy. Blood was rushing out of him rapidly due to the mess his neck now was. He leaned backwards but noted gratefully Elena had listened to him for once.

Caroline looked better now that she had drank some blood. Unfortunately, she was still gazing at him as if he were a four course gourmet meal.

"So," he quipped, "Now that you've made me your juice box, too, can we call it even?" Caroline rolled her eyes, obviously feeling more invigorated. "What happened anyway? Did you decide you were in the mood for a late afternoon dip in Lake Vervain?"

Caroline huffed. "Actually, I was trying to follow your useless advice." Damon looked at her confusedly. "I saw her right after I left the Grill, and she said she had something to show me here. And then she just attacked me! I barely had time to get a text out to you and Stefan before I was drowning in vervain!"

Damon felt ice creep through his veins. "Wait, who attacked you?"

"Bonnie of course! I found her right after we talked, and I was attempting to reach out to her. Thanks a lot for that advice, jerk!"

Damon frowned, that was what he was afraid she would say. "Caroline, after I left the Grill, I went to Bonnie's. She was there. She was even with me when I got your text to come here."

* * *

**So I'm back. This was unedited so I could get it out quicker, hope there aren't too many errors. Yeah, updates are slower but it's hard with the new canon stuff. I've taken my own path and want to incorporate new canon material.**

**I've got everything mapped out and just have to plan some details. Oh, and no Bamon is happening in the fic. Ever. I like Bonnie and love Damon but not together romantically. There will be some bonding with the characters though. And more Delena soon.**

**Hope you guys liked it and if you did, please review!**


	11. The Shoe is on the Other Foot

**This chapter is dedicated to the awesome source of inspiration and brilliance, Anya or findmysoulasigohome on tumblr. If you have a tumblr and are not following her, you're wrong. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_Don't judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins."_

**-Sharon Creech**

* * *

**The Shoe is on the Other Foot**

**Chapter Ten**

The silence in the clearing only lasted seconds before a frantic voice unsurprisingly disturbed the peace.

"What are you talking about, Damon? Bonnie was just here!" Caroline appeared more lost than accusatory at the moment, so Damon could not help but hold back any witty retorts. Okay, maybe it was not out of some desire to spare the blonde's feelings, but because he was feeling increasingly dizzy and nauseous. He looked down noticing that the blood was still trickling down his collarbone. Funny, he could have sworn he felt fine a second ago. His eyes tracked a specific trail from his neck that dripped steadily onto the grass in a transfixed manner. "Damon? Didn't you hear me? What do you mean Bonnie was with you?"

He heard Caroline speaking to him, but her voice was distorted and slowed. He looked up at the two puzzled vampires before him and gradually the view changed to the sky above him. The sun was setting causing streaks of pink and orange to decorate the clouds. Suddenly his view was obscured by Elena and Caroline's startled faces. Or maybe just Caroline's as Elena's was so blank nowadays it was hard to tell.

"Damon?" Caroline called again almost worriedly. Her face was almost completely healed now with only a slightly redder hue than usual. Did she really take so much as to be better by now? Damon missed vampire healing more than anything at that moment.

"Damon," Elena called blankly. She did not seem at all perturbed at his condition. Still, she shifted to cradle him in her lap without a wince of pain at the contact with his vervain-drenched clothing.

Blackness creept along his vision shrouding his view of her. What a shame, he always loved looking at her. He thought he felt soft fingers sweep through his wet hair and the accompanying sizzle from the remnants of vervain in there.

But then the darkness came, and he did not think anymore.

* * *

Elena stroked strands of Damon's wet hair out of his face. Her fingers and lap burned from the vervain that he was soaking it, but she paid it no mind.

"Oh, god!" Caroline exclaimed as Damon's eyes drifted shut, "Shoot! I didn't mean to." She raised her left wrist to her fangs and bit down. The veins were still crawling down her eyes when she reached forward to feed Damon.

Abruptly, her wrist was ensnared by a harsh grip and twisted until it broke.

"Oww, god Elena, seriously, what was that for?"

"Don't," was all Elena said as she felt for Damon's pulse on his wrist. She did not want to touch the blood covering his neck lest she be tempted to drink it. Damon's pulse was certainly not regular, but it was not rapid enough to necessitate vampire blood. She could take him for medical treatment, and he would be fine.

"Wait a second, Elena. Where are you going?" Caroline tried to stop her as she rose carefully. Damon was still cradled in her arms and dead to the world. Elena prepared to blur her way to the Camaro and get Damon to the hospital when Caroline grasped her should firmly. "Hold on already!"

Elena growled. She could not fight Caroline with Damon in her arms. She did not have time for this. "What?" She hissed.

Caroline looked at her as if she was the crazy one. "Umm hello, why are you carrying Damon away and trying to stop me from feeding him some blood because he's starting to look like Patrick Swayze in _Ghost. _And not the hot, alive one but the dead, ghostly guy."

"That's why I'm taking him to the hospital," Elena replied slowly as if speaking to someone mentally incapable. She started to move again when Caroline gripped her shoulder even more insistently.

"The hospital? We should just heal him here before he gets worse."

"We can't give him vampire blood because he's determined to kill himself."

Caroline did not react, and Elena got the feeling that she was already aware of Damon's newfound mission. So was he just going around asking anyone for vampire blood now?

"Yeah, he asked me for some earlier, but that was when he was not dying. So now would be a good time to let go of that rule."

"Don't pretend to care," Elena sneered. "We both know you'd throw party where you'd talk about how awful Damon is if he died."

"Hang on. Damon's totally not my favorite person, but if you think I'd just let him die, then you don't know me at all." Caroline appeared offended at the assumption that she did not give two shits about Damon's wellbeing. _Good, _Elena thought viciously. It was funny because less than a month ago all she could tell Elena is how utterly useless and awful Damon was.

"Well maybe we just don't know each other all that well. After all, weren't you the one who said that I haven't been me since I turned?"

And with that, Elena blurred away with the still unconscious Damon in her arms leaving Caroline stricken behind her.

* * *

Elena had snuck Damon into a room and ensured no one would bother them. It required a little more stealth than usual. She could not wait until a couple days had passed and all the vervain had passed through everyone in Mystic Falls' systems. She had no patience for subtlety right now.

She had made a point to text Meredith and tell her to come to check up room 407 immediately and had gotten a positive response at least.

Elena was tracking Damon's health religiously, anticipating the moment when it would deteriorate and force her hand. His heart rate was not quite fast enough yet to make her give him some blood, but it was not too far from it either.

Elena's lips thinned at the thought. What was taking her? All she really did was give her patients vampire blood anyway. What work could she possibly be doing?

On second thought, maybe Elena should have taken Damon to a real doctor.

Before she had time to contemplate finding a better alternative for medical care, Elena heard the sound of the door creaking open behind her. She turned and faced a seemingly distracted Dr. Meredith Fell. Meredith was preoccupied with some charts and files in her hand as she absentmindedly closed the door behind her.

"So Elena, what can I do for you?" Meredith finally looked up, took in the scene in front of her, and paused. She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows in a move that oddly reminded Elena of Stefan. "Is this a joke…?"

Elena did not even bother to acknowledge that comment. "He's suffering from blood loss."

Meredith cautiously approached Damon's prone form still shooting questioning glances at Elena. Then she gave her undivided attention to Damon. She perused his wounds, listened to his pulse, and felt along his extremities carefully. "What the hell?" She mumbled beneath her breath.

Elena shifted impatiently. Was she going to do something or just gawk like an idiot?

"Elena," Meredith started, "I don't really know what's going on, but if what I'm seeing is right, and Damon is more alive than usual, then you got to give him some of your blood."

"I brought him here, so I wouldn't have to do that," Elena responded irritated with the woman's incompetence. She should have just brought Damon to a different doctor.

"Yes, but his condition is severe enough that under normal circumstances the only course of action to take would be to give him a blood transfusion immediately."

"Pretend these are normal circumstances then. I know how much you love giving vampire blood to everyone with a split lip or paper cut, but I can't give him any blood. Just give him the transfusion." Elena did not see the problem, with the amount of blood bags the vampires in town consumed on a regular basis, a few more to actually save Damon's life would change nothing. Why not use them for their real purpose?

"I would, but every blood bank for thirty miles has had their stashes stolen in the last week. There's nowhere to get supplies from."

* * *

"So you're saying that all the blood banks have been completely drained of supplies?" Stefan looked concerned as Elena told him what Meredith had relayed. He was standing by Damon's drink cart which caused Elena's mind to scream wrong, but she said nothing. It was a stupid thought anyway.

"Aww that's too bad, you had to give him vampire blood after all," Caroline sniped from her place on the couch opposite of Elena.

"Well, at least I spared him from having to drink your blood. The neurosis and nosiness could be contagious," Elena replied uncaringly. It may give her a thrill of satisfaction to watch Caroline's blood boil after all her judgments recently, but Elena's switch was in tact and she could honestly not care less.

Stefan interrupted before tensions could escalate any further. It seemed that any remnants of friendship she and Caroline had strained to the point of seeming nonexistence. _Fine by me, _thought Elena, _who needs a "friend" obsessed with controlling their life? _"The point is Damon's fine, and we have a new problem on our hands."

"Oh," Caroline chirped, "What about the vervain lake? I mean I can't be the only one confused as to how that happened. I swim in the quarry every summer, and it's never been polluted like that."

"I thought the mayor removed the vervain from the water too quickly. He must have dumped the remaining contaminated water into the ravine that leads into the quarry," Stefan answered. "He probably did not expect any vampires to go swimming in there and then it was easily accessible if he needs mass amounts of vervain filled water."

Caroline opened her mouth to comment when an enraged voice loudly reverberated throughout the house.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

* * *

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" Damon was absolutely seething at his current predicament. He was shaking at the injustice of it all. His body still ached and he felt like he got hit with a mac truck, but that was not the cause of his irrepressible anger.

_Seriously?! _No good deed goes unpunished in Mystic fucking Falls if he can dive in to save Blondie, get chomped on for it, and wake up in the goddamn Salvatore boarding house cell. _Again_.

_Why do I even bother? Life was so much easier when I just ate people. _

His cry seemed to have alerted some people as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. They were slow and leisurely paced as if aware that there was no immediate threat. _Oh, by all means, take your fucking time. _

Peering through the bars of the cell, Damon caught sight of the people who were fast becoming his top three annoyances.

Caroline looked like she was struggling to contain her laughter at the sight of him, Elena was just staring blankly at him, but at least Stefan had the grace to look mildly guilty.

"What gives?" Damon demanded without preamble.

"I had to give you vampire blood to heal you," Elena said plainly. In fact, she looked bored as if he were wasting _her _time.

"So what? Let me out of here!"

"Why? So you can kill yourself in some pointless attempt to become a vampire again?"

"I didn't say I was going to do that," Damon started. At the three incredulous looks piercing him, he added, "Recently. And that was before your explanations as to why I shouldn't risk it. Who's to say I haven't learned since then?"

"You? Learning from your mistakes and listening to reason? I find that harder to believe than the fact that there are two Bonnies walking around," Caroline retorted.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Barbie. As I recall, it's only because of your stupidity that I'm in this mess."

When Blondie failed to come up with a comeback to that, Damon turned to Stefan. "Oh, come on, Stef. This is ridiculous! What can I do right now as a human anyway."

Stefan sighed tiredly, which Damon recognized from a hundred sixty some odd years of experience as a bad sign. "Can you just try to make the best of it for now? It won't be for too long."

"Besides, Damon," Elena smirked, "Weren't you the one who came up with the plan to lock me up when I wanted to put myself in danger way back when with Klaus."

"At least I trapped you in your house, you've put me in a cell!"

"Well, we're short on sane witches, so you'll just have to bear it for the next two days."

"Two days?!" Damon did not think he had ever been angrier. He forced all the indignation down and curled his lips into something that resembled a grimace more than a smile. By the reaction he got out of Barbie, it was worth the effort. "Then you better bring me lots of bourbon. If I have to put up with the three of you for the next couple days without being able to run away, I better start getting wasted now."

* * *

By the time his two days in confinement were up, Damon had drunk more bourbon than the entire stock of the Mystic Grill and seriously contemplated the intelligence of saving Vampire Barbie.

When Stefan finally let him out, he stormed past his brother without a word. He took a shower in his room and relished the feeling of freedom.

Unfortunately, the shower forced memories of his time in New York with Elena to the surface.

Despite his big words as of late and his attempt at indifference, every feeling from that ill-fated trip was still swirling inside of him. It was an insidious sensation. Every now and then he would forget the way he felt as Elena perched herself on top of him and whispered words of contempt into his ear, and then without warning, the emotions would return full force.

He envied Elena. He almost wished he could turn off his emotions himself. But by now, he knew not only was it not a fully functioning option, but it did not really solve anything long term anyway.

He tried to keep the thoughts at bay, but like the switch, that only worked for so long.

Did Elena really mean what she said? Was she just capitalizing on the opportunity to speak her thoughts that she had repressed for so long because when she had her humanity, she felt for everyone even someone as awful as him? Or did she just say everything to drive him away? And if so, where did she come up with all those insults? They had to come from somewhere, right?

The water trickled down his back as Damon hunched over with the stress of the last couple days.

Focusing on more important issues, Damon assessed how he was going to fix his current predicament.

Stefan, Elena, and Caroline all turned down his attempts at getting them to turn him back. There were only so many vampires in town to ask. Rebekah would never. Besides, her obvious distaste towards him, she would be so enraged over losing the cure to someone who wanted to turn back immediately that she would probably rip his heart out on the stop. And Elena may think he is suicidal now, but he knew better than to try appealing to Klaus. He did not have that much of a death wish.

He could ask Meredith. She probably had some vampire blood left, right? Although, it might be his own which he could not contemplate. This whole thing was too ridiculous. Maybe he could steal some from Blondie or his brother? If he faked hurt and got them to give him some, he could finish the job before they had time to react.

It felt wrong and absurd to be plotting like this, but he had no choice. He could not stay like this, and he would not let anyone stop him from turning back.

* * *

He emerged from the shower without bothering to secure a towel around his waist. He was just going to throw on some clothes, get in his Camaro, and drive to a bar in a city where he was not a felon on the run.

So as he was toweling off his hair and walking into his room, he was startled at the sight before him. She was lounging on his bed as if she were in her own room. Though, he supposes, in some ways, this is the closest to her own room that she has left. "If it isn't my oh so gleeful captor, come to lock me up again?" He did not attempt to cover his body. Damon Salvatore had been called many things, but modest and shy were not among them.

Besides, Elena sure looked like she was enjoying the view.

"Actually, I'm just here for the show," a secretive smile graced her lips.

"Well, unfortunately for you, I've done my time as an all you can eat buffet. So if you're looking for dinner and a movie, I'd try Busboy at the Grill."

Damon walked past her towards his dresser. He bent down to retrieve some clothes. But before he could grab anything, he felt a light pressure on his back.

"Don't be like that," she spoke softly, her delicate fingers trailing down from the nape of his neck to right above the curve of his backside. Her voice was not seductive in the slightest. It was almost confused as if she could not fathom his treatment of her.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you, you can't always get what you want? I know you were born after the Rolling Stones craze, but come now, it's a classic." Damon had abandoned his attempts at getting dressed. He was starting to feel claustrophobic. The last two times she had been this close to him were when she was elaborating on how pathetic he was and when she was bleeding him to death. His luck was not so good that he could assume this time would end differently.

"Come on, Damon. I don't understand what your problem is. You want me, and I want you. It's that simple. Why does it matter that I feel nothing for you?"

He turned and faced her seriously, "When you can answer your own question, you can look me up for a good time."

With that, he yanked on his pants and shirt with almost vampire-like speed and took off.

_Bumblefuck, Middle of Nowhere bar, here I come._

* * *

Elena stared at the empty space of Damon's dresser incredulously for several minutes. What was his problem? His useless emotions were ruining her plans.

Even as she thought that, she could not help but feel the tingling sensation envelop her once more.

She could not stay in this house anymore.

After that thought processed, she sped after Damon.

* * *

Damon was two bourbons into a good time when saw her.

_Oh, come on! Can't a guy get a moment's peace? _He thought. She sauntered up to him and played with her hair almost nervously.

"What do you want?" He hissed angrily. He loved Elena, he really did, but he needed a break from apathetic Elena more than he needed his vampirism back at the moment. His emotions went haywire whenever she was around, and he did not have the luxury of turning it off. He frenzied heart just needed a five minute breather after their conversation earlier.

Elena looked surprised at his outburst and bit her lip anxiously, "I was just checking up on you."

Really? That was the best she could do? It was almost like she was trying to pointlessly pretend her humanity was back…

Or did not know how to portray an Elena with her switch off.

Damon spun to face the person interrupting his drink with newfound irritation. This was just his luck, he could not think of a worse person to be stuck with.

"What are you doing here, Katherine?"

* * *

**Next chapter is a really big one. I'm excited and have already written a lot of it.**

**So reviews have reached an all time low which makes me sad. And I got a few unfollows/unfavorites. Do people just not care now that 4x16-4x18 have aired? I know people don't want to, but I'm starting to actually feel like most people don't like this, so if you care, I'd love a review.**

**For those of you unaware, I'm whenpeopleseegood on tumblr. Check me out if you want! And vote on Alloy Entertainment poll for Delena, we're losing!**


	12. If All Else Remained

**Due to the wonderful outpour of support, here's another update! Thanks to everyone, I was so touched at your responses! It's such great inspiration for me. I can't wait to hear what you think of this! ****I'm going to let the end of the chapter speak for itself, so here's the usual author's note and plea: please review xoxo**

* * *

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply, those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire."_

**-Kurt Tucholsky**

* * *

**If All Else Remained**

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

_Brief Recap (by request):_

_Someone is impersonating Bonnie and Shane._

_Bonnie completed the expression triangle unconsciously._

_Klaus told Caroline Hayley's been supplying him information on Katherine._

_Stefan, Caroline, and Elena locked Damon up for two days, so the vampire blood Elena fed him would leave his system._

_Elena and Damon fought because she doesn't see why Damon needs her to care about him to be with her and Damon thinks she has no feelings for him with or without her humanity._

_Damon left and Elena went to follow him._

_Damon went to an out of town bar where he ran into Katherine._

* * *

She made it two steps from the door before the obnoxious twosome surrounded her. Their stalker-like obsession with her was really starting to grate her nerves.

Elena continued to stare at her lap. Occasionally she would switch to examining her fingernails or the hem of her dress, but she was definitely not gracing the two annoyances in front of her with her full attention.

"Elena," Stefan called to her in his typical beleaguered way, "We should talk about this. After we exchange facts, you can go off and do whatever you want."

"Why doesn't Damon have to be here for this crucial exchanging of facts?"

"Because he's been stuck in here for days and probably doesn't know anything anyway."

Elena finally looked up at this. "You're lying," she said blankly, "Damon is the one who spoke to Bonnie last. He must know some things we don't."

Stefan paused suddenly hesitant. Caroline looked to him concernedly. "Stefan, what is it?"

"I think we should keep Damon out of this. Considering… everything that happened recently, I don't think it's a good idea to involve him." Caroline looked shocked at his words. _Obviously the thought never occurred to her since she's far more concerned with attacking Damon than protecting him, _Elena thought viciously.

"Stefan," Caroline started reluctantly, "I don't think it's possible to leave Damon in the dark. I understand why you want to but-"

Elena cut her off remorselessly, "No, you don't. If Damon's not around, who can you possibly find to blame for everything?"

Caroline turned on her. "Umm yeah, I do actually understand. You know why? Because I have empathy, I can still _feel. _And before you assume so much, maybe you should try living with emotions first!"

"Because you having your emotions equates to caring at all for Damon's wellbeing." Elena scoffed, "You'd probably kill him yourself if given half the chance."

"No, I wouldn't actually. Just because I see Damon for the manipulative bastard he really is and did not want you falling for his tricks, does not mean I want him dead. Like it or not, Damon is part of our team. And considering the dwindling numbers, maybe it's about time you all listened to me and let us regroup!" Caroline was breathing heavily by the end of her rant. Her chest heaved with unrestrained anger.

Elena just scoffed in disbelief.

"Caroline," Stefan whispered softly as he reached out to touch her knee in a comforting manner. "Let's just get this over with so everyone can go their separate ways."

"Fine," Caroline snapped still incensed. "Klaus told me that Hayley was feeding him information on Katherine who he was tracking to kill her, maim her, or whatever diabolical plan he had in mind. Shane's apparently dead somehow. Bonnie attacked me and threw me into a lake filled with vervain but apparently that wasn't Bonnie, not that Damon bothered to explain that one-"

"Because you had drained him to unconsciousness," Elena interrupted matter of factly.

"AND," Caroline's voice rose in an attempt to drown out Elena, "Damon somehow ended up cured. That's all I know, okay?"

"Damon told me that Rebekah speculated that Silas could take on the form of others. Between Shane apparently being dead on the island as well as walking around in Mystic Falls and Bonnie being in two places at once, I'd say she's right."

"Well, if that's all there was to say, I'm going. Thanks for wasting my time." Elena got up to leave. As she was walking out, she heard Caroline and Stefan behind her.

"God, she makes me so angry!" Caroline huffed.

"She's makes everyone feel that way nowadays."

Elena could not help but be reminded of a time where she spoke similar sentiments about Damon to Stefan right before Stefan was captured by the tomb vampires. Stefan had replied much the same way.

"_I'm sorry. He just makes me so cranky," Elena whined after Damon had finally left. He was the most infuriating person she had ever met! Acting like nothing had changed despite the fact that he turned her mother into a vampire. _

"_I know. He makes everybody cranky," Stefan reassured her as he wrapped her in a comforting embrace. There was nowhere else Elena would rather be than in Stefan's arms as far away from his psychopathic brother as possible._

It seemed so long ago now. So much had changed. _She _had changed, and there was no going back now. But Elena was fine with that.

She agreed with Stefan, too. She wanted to keep Damon in the dark about the big Silas plots and daily supernatural threats. It was too dangerous for a human to be involved.

But even as she thought that, she wondered: was that what Damon had felt while she was human, and he tried desperately to keep her out of his plans? When he chased her down and even trapped her in her house?

It was strange how Damon turning human had caused everything to turn on its axis. Maybe if she still cared she would be more understanding, but since she did not, she would not.

* * *

Katherine was reclining against the bar in a deliberately casual way. Her hair was straightened which had thrown him off, but if Damon had been unsure before, he was certainly not anymore.

"So what triggered this oh so unwelcome visit, Your Evil Highness?"

"What do you mean? I already told you I came to check up on you."

Damon just glared at her stonily.

Despite Damon's attempts to stop her, Katherine trailed her finger along the rim of his glass of bourbon and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Don't be like that, Damon."

It was the exact same words that Elena had spoken to him an hour ago and yet the differences were jarring. Katherine was emulating her usual seductive charm and teasing him while Elena honestly could not comprehend why Damon was rejecting her. In some ways, they were two sides of the same coin. On the other hand, the two Petrova doppelgängers really were night and day.

Damon sighed irritated and dropped all pretenses. "What do you want, Katherine?"

The evil ex is question snagged his drink without answering. She slowly dipped her index finger into it and lifted it to her lips as if sampling the liqueur. It is always like that with Katherine. Everything is a show.

"Well," Katherine drawled, "Since you're so curious, perhaps you can tell me why Klaus is suddenly aware of my movements and tracking down and killing my… friends."

"'Friends.' Interesting euphemism for endless horde of pathetically suckered in boytoys."

Katherine just shook her head slowly with that teasing smirk that used to drive him wild gracing her lips. "Well, I'm hurt, Damon. And here I thought we were friends," she sighed dramatically ignoring Damon's incredulous look. "So friend to _friend, _who is selling me out to Klaus?"

"It's too bad. I wish I could help, but," Damon raised his hands helplessly, "I have recently cut back on my late night chats with the hybrid psychopath. So sorry."

"You expect me to believe that when your brother and his useless blonde sidekick are so buddy buddy with Klaus?"

"Believe what you'd like, but I can't help you here. Guess you'll just have to find another _friend _to ask."

Katherine's head tilted to the side as she assessed him. Her eyes cut into him as she let her typical façade roll off of her. "Are you lying? Because I can make you give all your secrets away. Tell me, Damon, when was the last time you drank vervain?"

Ice shot through Damon's veins. He had just ran out of the house after being cooped up for two days. He was so desperate to escape that he did not even think of the vervain that had undoubtedly left his system as the vampire blood did during his stay in the Ritz Savatore Jail Cell Carlton.

Damon snarled, "You sure know how to treat your _friends_. And how hard can it be to find one minion who betrayed you? Don't tell me you have an army of them lurking outside of Mystic Falls?"

"Maybe I do," Katherine replied, "Didn't I tell you, always stay a step ahead of your enemies."

"Great. But I still don't know anything, so get lost."

Abruptly Katherine started laughing. "Don't worry, I can still read you like an open book, Damon. I know you don't know anything." Katherine pretended to pout, "But I do want to check up on you. It seems my doppelganger still has her humanity off. That surprises me, weak willed thing that she is, I figured she would only last a day."

Damon swiped his drink back. There would be no getting rid of her now. Even as a vampire, Damon could not stop her when she was in this obnoxious mood where she delighted in inflicting her presence on others.

But maybe this could work to his advantage.

"Yeah, well, we can't all be callous bitches like you." Katherine just gave him a close-lipped smile in response. "But since you insist of joining me and stealing my drink, it's only fair that you give me a drink in return."

"You want me to buy you a drink? Now where has your sense of chivalry gone, Mr. Salvatore?"

"No, I want you to _give_ me a drink." Damon nodded his head towards her and kept his gaze serious. Katherine paused as his meaning sunk in and considered.

"Now why would I want to do that?"

Damon just threw her a unconvinced look, "Maybe because you did it years ago? Maybe because I just saved your useless ass in New York? Maybe because you're already wasting my time, so you might as well make it worth my while."

Katherine was still smirking at him. "Or maybe," she drawled as she leaned down to dip her hand under the hem of his shirt and trail her fingertips across his collarbone, "Maybe because if I do that, you'll find out what I want to know like a good _friend_."

"I think we can work something out," Damon replied as he struggled to not jerk away from her roaming hand. After everything, being this close to Katherine always made bile rise within him fueled by his own disappointment at the loss of the life he thought he would have and his own past stupidity. Katherine was a walking talking reminder of how moronic he had been and how even now, he was making the same mistakes with another vastly superior Petrova doppelganger who could not love him.

"So why hasn't Stefan swooped in to your rescue?" Katherine asked. Damon cursed internally. Why did everyone have to ask him that? Why could people not just do what he asked?

"Stefan's been busy with homework. You know Mystic Falls' High School curriculum is really bringing him down."

"Oh, of course," Katherine agreed, but her eyes were cold as she appraised him once more. 'So why don't you just ask your precious Elena?"

As Damon opened his mouth to fabricate some sarcastic story, he noticed that Katherine's eyes were no longer trained on him. Instead, they have drifted towards the entrance of the bar. _You have got to be kidding me, _Damon thought as he resignedly turned in that direction. He already knew what would be there, but he figured he better face the music now.

Elena was standing there with her now standard expression of blank faced impatience. However, Damon noticed there was an unusual underlying tension. Her lips were pulled taut in a straight line and her eyes were narrowed in displeasure.

Damon realized that Katherine's hand was still absentmindedly caressing him and sighed internally. Just his luck.

Elena turned around and began to leave before shooting the Damon and the Evil One another glance, indicating with a nod that they should follow her.

"Well," Katherine smirked as she removed her hand and gave Damon a not so light pat on the cheek, "We better go see what Her Majesty wants of us. Maybe she can tell me what I want to know."

* * *

Elena was fuming. So Damon left her to go flirt with Katherine? How dare he act like it would be so awful to be with her when her humanity's off and then go gallivanting off with _her_?

"Why are you here?" Elena asked completely composed as soon as Katherine emerged from the bar.

"Well, I was trying to find out which of my soon to be dead acquaintances was feeding Klaus information about me. Sadly, Damon was no help at all- at least, in that capacity."

Elena bristled at the implication, but then paused. She wanted to know who was running to Klaus about her and did Caroline not just say it was Hayley?

"But you can help, can't you, Elena?" Katherine had been watching her closely and seemed to pick up on her change in disposition.

"So what if I can? I can't think of anyone I'd rather help. Maybe I'll go to Klaus after this and tell him where you are, so he can rid the world of you finally."

Elena was smirking at Katherine's angered face when she felt a jab in her side. Damon was next to her and giving her a look. She knew what he was telling her, not to bait Katherine, but she did not care. It was about time Katherine got a taste of her own medicine. Besides, Damon had taunted Katherine countless times.

"Tell me who it is," Katherine demanded.

"No, I'd rather watch you suffer."

Arguing with Katherine was pointless. She had such tunnel vision on whatever it was that she thought would help her.

Then something changed in Katherine's expression. Before she was enraged and now her stance had settled into a resolute determination.

In a flash, Katherine appeared behind Damon, yanking him back flush against her back. Elena saw Damon's eyes widen for a second before they narrowed in anger.

"What are you-" Katherine clasped one hand over his mouth. His arms were trapped between the two of them as he struggled. It did not matter how much he wriggled, her grip was unyielding. Even if he were still a vampire, Elena was not sure he would be able to move.

"Poor little Elena can't seem to face her problems," Katherine cooed mockingly, "You have to rely on turning off your humanity. Don't worry, though, I can help. You know the funny thing about the switch is that it's faulty. Sometimes all you need is a jolt to remind you to _care._"

Katherine's eyes hardened as she tightened her grip on Damon. He looked uncomfortable as if he were having trouble breathing under her firm grip. Katherine seemed to be bracing herself for something and did not appear to notice Damon's squirming. Deliberately, Katherine reached towards Damon's trapped hands and pulled something there. Elena saw as Katherine held up the last Gilbert ring to show her.

"Tell me who is squealing on me to Klaus is or I will kill him."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Elena said unflinchingly, "You won't hurt him. I know you care about him." That was true. Katherine was an evil, manipulative bitch, but she was consistent. In terms of priorities, the top was always herself, a little lower was Stefan's wellbeing, a bit lower than that was Damon's, and way, way down was everyone and everything else. And below that, further still, was Klaus and Elena herself. Maybe she would beat out Klaus on a good day, but she would not count on it.

Though Elena was sure if it were Katherine or Damon's life on the line, Katherine would not hesitate to pick herself as she always did. But for a petty threat to talk? No, Elena had a feeling that counted on and cared for the Salvatores more than she was willing to admit. Damon may talk about how Katherine could not care less about him, but Elena knew there was a reason that Katherine left him alive. She was so pragmatic and yet turning Damon had ruined her chance at fooling Klaus into thinking she was dead in 1864.

Katherine smirked. "Oh, I would, and I will if you don't start talking."

The tickling sensation started again, but Elena was resolute. "I won't tell you." Katherine was all about leverage but Elena had bought enough of Katherine's bullshit for one lifetime. She would never kill Damon over something like this. She had saved his life before with a far more significant cost to herself than this before. Even if she did not care for Damon at all, Stefan would lose it if Damon died. Elena understood as Katherine did that Stefan relied on Damon more heavily than he was willing to admit.

"Last chance," Katherine gritted out as she adjusted her grip on the still struggling Damon. He froze briefly as she maneuvered him and then started fighting wildly, muffled noises leaving his mouth.

Elena felt a vague sense of triumph even as the tickling spread when she watched Katherine's narrowed eyes and pursued lips. She had no leverage here, and Elena wanted to revel in her victory. Beating Katherine Pierce gave her such a sweet rush of elation. She had never been able to win against her as a human. Never with her humanity. But she was now.

Suddenly, Katherine straightened and whispered directly into Damon's ear, but Elena could hear her perfectly, "It must be so hard never being loved enough. Don't worry, lover, I can make her care." She kissed his cheek softly before addressing Elena, "This could have gone very differently. I guess you will have to bury a body once again and so soon at that!" Katherine's lips had thinned to a straight line, all traces of her usual sensuality and showiness gone from her expression.

She was bluffing, Elena was sure, but the tickling sensation felt like it had permeated every fiber of her being. She wondered if she was shaking outwardly as well as inside.

"Don't worry, this one is a hundred and fifty years overdue anyway." And with that, Katherine closed her eyes and moved.

Elena heard a noise but it did not make sense. There was a rushing in her ears and her vision blurred, but she did not know why. Damon had stopped struggling. He was lying limply against Katherine, his head lolled into her neck. It almost looked like he had nuzzled there to kiss her. But he was not making a move to do so. In fact, it did not look like he was moving at all.

Something was bothering Elena. She could feel the niggling awareness return. But it was not like she had merely forgotten something this time, and her brain were trying to remind her. No, it felt more powerful now. The tickling had transformed into a sense of numb emptiness. And still Elena did not understand. Then Katherine released her hold on Damon, and he careened forward.

Damon collapsed to the ground ungracefully. His body was positioned awkwardly, one arm twisted behind his back, a leg prone and bent uncomfortably, and of course his neck contorted in an unnatural way.

He was dead.


	13. Salt in Her Wounds

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."_

**-Emily Bronte**

* * *

**Salt in Her Wounds**

**Chapter Twelve**

_Brief Recap:_

_"Don't worry, this one is a hundred and fifty years overdue anyway." And with that, Katherine closed her eyes and moved._

_Elena heard a noise but it did not make sense. There was a rushing in her ears and her vision blurred, but she did not know why. Damon had stopped struggling. He was lying limply against Katherine, his head lolled into her neck. It almost looked like he had nuzzled there to kiss her. But he was not making a move to do so. In fact, it did not look like he was moving at all._

_Something was bothering Elena. She could feel the niggling awareness return. But it was not like she had merely forgotten something this time, and her brain were trying to remind her. No, it felt more powerful now. The tickling had transformed into a sense of numb emptiness. And still Elena did not understand. Then Katherine released her hold on Damon, and he careened forward._

_Damon collapsed to the ground ungracefully. His body was positioned awkwardly, one arm twisted behind his back, a leg prone and bent uncomfortably, and of course his neck contorted in an unnatural way._

_He was dead._

* * *

The Earth tilted on its axis for Elena.

Abruptly, Elena realized that she had stopped breathing at some point. But with that first desperate breath came gasping and rasping that caused goose bumps to raise on her skin. Or maybe they had been there for a while, Elena could not tell. She could not understand anything anymore.

With the shaky inhalation of oxygen, Elena also became aware of a high pitched noise that threatened to disturb the patrons in the bar less than a mile away. It was a grating, disturbing noise like the dying wail of someone leaving the world too soon.

It was coming from her, right? She was the one dying painfully. Or was she? Elena was dizzy from the rushing in her ears and the constricting of her heart. What was happening?

All she felt was grief. It seemed like the entire world was in mourning to Elena at that moment.

How could Damon be dead?

How could _Jeremy_ be gone forever? _Oh my god, _Elena thought disjointedly, _Jeremy's dead. My whole family is dead. And now Damon, too…? _

Everything hurt. Her entire body ached. Even places that Elena knew logically could not feel were weighed down by the torment she was experiencing. It felt like she was bound to succumb under the pressure of the agony raining down on her. It was too much, _too much._

"You should have just told me what I wanted to know. You should know better than to test me, Little Elena," Katherine finally spoke unconcernedly. It was as if she was chastising Elena for something minor and not the utter destruction of her life.

"Why? Wasn't taking Jeremy enough for you? Why would you do this? _What is wrong with you?!_"

"Oh, stop your whining." Katherine marched over to Damon's body and nudged him with her stiletto forcing it to turn over.

"Stop it! Don't touch him!" Elena finally moved towards Damon. She tripped as her vision became distorted, and she felt woozy just from that small effort. She fell to her knees beside him. "What are you doing?" She asked slowly.

Elena's mouth kept moving somehow despite feeling as if she could no longer function. But she could no longer control her ability to speak. It made sense, she could not control anything anyway.

Katherine sighed impatiently. "Well, I think it's clear that intelligence didn't make it to the final doppelgänger. What a pity. For you." Katherine gestured annoyed to something with one perfectly manicured fingernail.

Elena raised her eyes off the ground finally and tried to focus on whatever Katherine was indicating to. Her eyes assessed Damon's still prone figure, which caused her heart to clench in fresh pain. _As if it had ever stopped, _Elena thought distantly. Katherine's prodding had pushed Damon over onto his stomach in a position that would be horribly uncomfortable if he was still alive. Just that thought caused Elena's face to crumple again.

The new view, however, allowed Elena to see the arm that had been trapped beneath him before and an object glistening in the pale moonlight. "What? I don't understand…"

"Of course you don't," Katherine sighed dramatically.

* * *

"_Last chance," Katherine gritted out as she adjusted her grip on the still struggling Damon. He froze briefly as she maneuvered him and then started fighting wildly, muffled noises leaving his mouth. _

_Damon felt her slip something cold and metal onto his finger disguising the motion by making a show of her threat as she altered her hold on him._

No, _Damon thought startled as he suddenly became rigid at the knowledge of what she had just done. _

_He had been unsure before as to whether she would actually snap his neck. It was not unusual for her. She rather liked dramatic, lethal gestures. The only reason he doubted it for a second was because Katherine had saved his life before and this seemed to be a nonlife-threatening concern for her. _

_Still, he would trust Katherine as far as he could throw her. As a human._

_But when he felt her slip the Gilbert ring back on his finger, he knew what he plan would be. _

_He tried to warn her- Elena, Katherine, any doppelganger who would listen. He did not know if it would work, and he did not want Elena to fall apart. He wanted to let her know what was about to happen, maybe she could just fess up to who this random informant for the hybrid sociopath was._

_Damon thrashed to no avail. Katherine had him trapped effortlessly. He even resorted to trying to bite her hand, but his blunt, human teeth had no effect on her unsurprisingly. _

_Everything played out in slow motion after that. Even Katherine's taunts and faux concern cooed in his ear did not penetrate the rapid sense of calm that came to him from the realization of Katherine's scheme._

_A soft kiss graced his cheek belying the intended action to come._

Well, at least we will finally learn if I am too "unnatural" for this thing, _Damon thought as everything faded away. _

_His last view was of a shell-shocked Elena._

* * *

"He'll be fine. He's only dead for now, so stop crying already."

Katherine's nonchalant and faulty explanation only fueled Elena's panic. Elena started hyperventilating hysterically.

"Damon's not natural, the ring may not work on him!" Elena managed to gasp out between her strangled breaths.

Katherine paused and her eyes flashed with some deeply repressed emotion before she shrugged. "Well, then he'll just be dead. That would be so sad for you though, only one boyfriend to wait on you hand and foot."

"You- you- you _bitch_!" Elena was making rasping noises along with her helpless sobs, but she still managed to scrounge up enough anger to spit at Katherine.

She thought she hated Rebekah more than anyone, but she was so wrong. She would let Rebekah kill and maim her over and over again if it meant that Katherine would give her back Jeremy and Damon. And she would never despise anyone the way she did at that moment.

"Just go away!" Elena screeched. She was falling to pieces and just Katherine's presence was enough to threaten the destruction of the last bit of Elena's sanity. If she even still sane, she certainly did not feel like she was anymore.

Elena could not even bear to look up, but the telling whoosh of air informed her that Katherine had finally left. If she were able to feel anything past the pain, Elena would have been relieved that for once Katherine had left her alone.

Elena crawled the last bit of distance to Damon. She righted his body in her lap and clutched his head to her chest.

* * *

"_Jeremy! Oh, no. No. No. Oh, god, no. Oh god..." Elena could not stop her panicked words that spilled out of her mouth. She had grasped Jeremy to him as if to fend off anyone who would try to hurt him and crushed the thought that came to her in the back of her mind that nothing could hurt him anymore ruthlessly._

* * *

"Damon, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I'm _so _sorry," Elena's voice cracked as she rocked the two of them back and forth. This was not happening. This could not happen to her. Not again. She would not survive it. "Oh, god. No, no, no…"

* * *

"_It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. You're gonna be okay. The ring will bring you back. It's okay. It's okay. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay, Jeremy. You're gonna be fine." Elena kept on reassuring herself._

_She could see Stefan peering down at her- _and Jeremy, _she reminded herself, _he's fine!_- with a pained expression_. _He should not be looking at her like that. She was fine, and more importantly, Jeremy was fine. The ring was going to work like it always did. Everything was fine!_

* * *

Would the ring bring back Damon? Losing the tattoos did not change Jeremy's fate. Would losing his vampiric abilities be enough to bring Damon back? Or was he still marked as someone supernatural even now?

Could Elena even dare to hope?

She knew better. The ring would not bring him back. Nothing would! How could she allow herself to have hope again?

This was too much. She could not handle it. How was she supposed to survive when Jeremy and now Damon were taken from her?

Elena gripped her head in anguish. "No, no, NO!" Her nails scratched her scalp painfully and caused tiny rivulets of blood to trickle down her neck to join her tears, but she did not care.

Elena could not bear to wait to see if Damon woke up, but she could not stand to leave him. She could not do this all alone.

She fumbled with her phone. Her hands were shaking too badly to grasp it properly, and her blurred vision was only complicating matters. She finally clasped the thing tightly to her chest and froze. Who was she going to call for this? Who was going to come to her side now?

She had all but destroyed her relationship with Caroline, and Stefan had very blatantly sided with her blond former best friend. She knew she should probably call Stefan and let him know his brother might be dead for good, but her mind forcefully dispelled that thought even as it brought a fresh wave of sobs. So no Stefan and Caroline. She would have to call someone else.

What about Bonnie? Bonnie had always been there for her, and she had not spent enough time around her with her humanity off to wreck that friendship entirely. But was Bonnie not kind of unstable now? And Damon and Caroline seemed to think there was a Bonnie imposter running around at the moment. Elena supposed she could not call Bonnie for help after all.

And Jeremy… she could not. Jeremy could no longer help her or anyone, ever again.

"No, no, no, no…" The mantra raised in volume as Elena's bawling became uncontrollable. She wondered if the words were still distinct enough to be understood. They sounded like contorted gibberish even to her.

Everyone was dead or gone, and she had no one left to call. They were all dead! She was all alone with Damon's body. _Damon's body._

Her mind was so disjointed that it took her several minutes of rocking Damon and herself back and forth to realize that there was one person left that might come.

The trembling of her fingers was so violent that she had to hang up and redial six times before eventually the numbers she clicked were right. She had dialed the same number for years, she knew it by heart and every time she called, the person had always coming running to her aid.

Matt was a good guy like that.

The phone rang and rang. Elena was scared that Matt would not pick up. She did not even know what time it was. Would he already be asleep? Or was he just ignoring her call because she had been such a crappy friend to everyone lately?

She would not blame him, she was the worst. Her stupidity and selfishness had cost everyone who loved her their happiness and even Jeremy and Damon's lives. Why was she so useless? The overwhelming waves of self-loathing crashed upon her, and she realized that she was wailing pathetically.

"Hello?" A tired voice called to her from the other end of the line, and she abruptly stilled. She held her breath as she listened attentively. "Elena, why are you calling me at three thirty am?"

Elena could not speak. She felt if she tried the sobs would escape once more, and she would finally fall apart.

"Elena," Matt repeated. He sounded more awake now and concern was coloring his tone. "Talk to me."

Elena opened her mouth to say something, _say anything, _and all that tumbled out was a weak whimper. And then she was bawling again.

The phone fell from her grasp from the shudders racking through her. She could hear Matt shouting worriedly through the phone.

"Elena! Just tell me where you are, and I'll come get you!"

Elena took a deep breath, grabbed the phone and whispered the address. She hung up without anything else. She could not bring herself to explain everything to Matt. How could she tell someone that she had let the person she cared about most be killed just so she could taunt their murderer?

She could not believe herself. She had basically killed Damon herself. And all the stuff she said to Stefan and Caroline as they tried to be there for her? Or how about how she had completed abandoned Bonnie in her time of need?

She could not do this. She searched urgently for her switch to shut it all out again, but it was nowhere to be found. It felt like her mind was staring at where it used to be only to be met with nothing at all.

Elena sniffled. She should really move further away from the bar. Anyone could come out and see them, and she was in no position to fight anyone off. But she felt so drained. All the grief, the pain, the guilt, all of it had flooded back to her in a moment of incensed agony. It was too much. Elena worried she would never be able to move from this spot again.

The ring would fail to revive Damon, and she would still wait here, withering away with him in her arms.

Steady trails of tears still marked her cheeks and had spilled over onto Damon's pale face. Elena was completely focused on Damon, prepared to pounce at any sign of life. She held the hand with the ring and slowly stroked it with her thumb. It could not bring anyone other than herself comfort now, but she needed enough to continue the action.

Headlights shined down upon her crouched form, but Elena was still paralyzed as she searched Damon's expression. The brightness ceased, and she could distantly hear the sound of a truck engine being turned off and a car door being slammed.

Gravel crunched beneath someone's tentative footsteps. "Elena?" Matt called as he approached her. And then he stopped. Elena did not look up, but she knew that he finally got a glimpse of the scene she and Damon made at the moment.

Elena's head was bent over Damon, and her thumb was frantically rubbing the ring.

Matt took a deep shuddering breath as he closed the distance between them.

"Elena, we should go somewhere else," he spoke softly as he placed a hand on her shoulder. For comfort or to encourage her to move, Elena did not know. Or care really because neither would help her.

"I-" she started swallowing to wet her dry mouth, "I-I can't." It hurt, and her voice broke on the last word.

Matt did not reply for a minute. Then, still wordless, he slumped to the ground next to her.

* * *

So much time had passed. The sky now had bright streaks disrupting its cool night.

Elena would have felt uncomfortable from sitting in the same position for so long, but she felt so beyond such inconsequential pains and worries now. Matt kept shifting agitatedly beside her. Every now and then he would yawn, but other than that the two of them were silent.

How long would this take? When had enough time passed to denote it was not going to work?

Damon did not reek of decomposition yet thankfully, but that was the only sign to indicate that he was not definitely gone for good.

"Have you called Stefan?" Matt finally spoke up. At Elena's small shake of her head, he continued, "I'm going to. He should know that… he should just come here."

Matt stood up, his back cracking as he retrieved his phone from his pocket. Elena could hear Matt relaying their location as she had done for him earlier.

Not long thereafter, Stefan appeared out of nowhere. Did he run here? Did she care?

"What… happened…?" Stefan froze.

Matt alternated glances between the two of them. When Elena did not even bother to even lift her head, he turned towards Stefan reluctantly. "I don't really know. Elena called me about two hours ago and told me to come here."

"Why didn't you call me? What happened?" Stefan voice raised in anger.

"Katherine killed him," Elena mumbled. "She wanted to know who Klaus' secret informant was."

"Why did she-" Stefan cut himself off and took a deep breath through his nose, "Why would she do that? Didn't you tell her?"

Her silence answered for her.

Abruptly Stefan grabbed her and tore her off of Damon. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Elena started crying in earnest again.

"Oh, great. _Now _you can feel." Stefan was shaking, in rage or pain, Elena did not know. His hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white under the strain. "And you still didn't even bother to tell me? You called Matt instead!"

"Hey now," Matt stepped between them trying to play peacemaker. "Everyone just needs to calm down. We don't know anything for sure yet," but his voice betrayed his belief. Matt had lost some of the hope he had preached to Elena just weeks before.

Stefan rounded on him even as he kept his grasp on Elena's upper arm. "Don't-"

They were interrupted by a sudden gasp loud enough to startle the three of them out of their argument. The gasping quickly transformed into coughing as Damon fell to his side and tried to get himself on his hands and knees. His fingernails raked in the gravel beneath them.

* * *

Damon hacked uncontrollably. What the hell had happened to him? He groaned as he collapsed to his side. His eyes were tensely clenched afraid that should he open them there would be obnoxious light to burn his retinas. He felt like shit, worse than any hangover ever.

How did he get here again? Suddenly his memory kicked into gear, and he remembered the psychotic bicth's master plan. As if he needed another reason to hate the devil spawn.

_So that's what it feels like to be brought back with magic ring power, _Damon thought dizzily. _Maybe if I'd known I wouldn't have been so quick to make Ric relive it. Maybe. Okay, probably not, but still…_

His thoughts remained unfocused and convoluted as he struggled to get his bearings. _I'm going to be sick._

He reluctantly opened his eyes to face the startled faces of his brother, Elena, and the Quarterback.

The sight gave him pause. Okay, Stefan and Elena he understood, but who the hell had invited Matt Donovan to his temporary funeral?

"I know I'm pretty to look at and everything, but the three of you look like you've never seen an alive dead person before," Damon quipped. He stopped for a second and blinked rapidly before he finished, "Which I know is not true."

"Damon," Elena gasped and in a second she had detached herself from Stefan and blurred over to grasp him in her arms.

The grip was too tight and his body protested weakly. "Ooomph, I assume haven't been gone too long, so when did you become the She-Hulk?"

Elena did not respond. Instead, she continued to ruin his shirt further with her tears.

She had trapped Damon's hands, so he could not even begin to extract himself or comfort her. Damon just sighed into her embrace.

Well, Damon was not a positive person by nature, but he was very glad he was not spitting up blood like Ric before he went all H. P. Lovecraft _Re-animator _on everyone. And he could not remember a conversation between his Mr. Hyde and the Original Bitch, so there was that.

After a few minutes of crying and awkwardness, he broke the silence.

"Can we go home now? I never got to finish my drink earlier."

* * *

Matt had taken his truck over, so he left on his own with the hopes of getting a couple hours of sleep before his shift at the Grill. Stefan had run to them, but Damon and Elena had both driven, which left an awkward moment where the tension that had all but disappeared earlier returned with a vengeance. Stefan and Damon had taken Damon's Camaro home, and she had driven back by herself.

Stefan was no longer visibly angry with her, but he also seemed to have no desire to spend time with her. It hurt Elena to see what had become of her relationship with him and only fuelled the guilt pooling in her gut. But it had not surprised her, things had been tense between them for a while. Actually, if she were being honest, Elena would admit that things had never quite been the same since Stefan had come back from Klaus.

Damon was the one acting strangely though. He seemed reserved, which was not a word she would have ever attributed to Damon not long ago. What had happened? Was he mad because she basically got him killed? Maybe she should apologize, but apologies had never been Damon and her thing. They just instinctually knew the other so well that words were almost never necessary to bridge a gap between them. In fact, even when apologies were uttered, it did not change anything. Damon and Elena were all about actions, not meaningless syllables.

Elena just hoped it would end soon. The car ride without him was already torturous enough, and after tonight, Elena never wanted him to leave her sight again.

* * *

Elena pulled up and parked in front of the Salvatore boarding house in time to see both Stefan and Damon exit the car.

Predictably, Damon made a beeline for his drink cart as soon as he passed the threshold inside. Stefan on the other hand just went upstairs to sleep without another word.

The house was quiet. It was almost six am, and most of the town was still asleep. Elena sat on the couch closest to the running fireplace and stared into the flames distractedly.

The clinking of the glasses ceased, and Elena looked up to Damon as he approached her. He paused for a moment as if debating where to sit before finally settling in beside her. He left a sizable amount of space between them though, and Elena could not fathom why.

The tension in the room was still palpable. Elena had felt awkward around Damon now. They had always been so honest with each other, but he just felt distant now. It was not the cold Damon that arrived in Mystic Falls with an agenda, and it was not the hesitant Damon who worried her feelings were borne of the sire bond. Elena felt as if Damon was resigned to something. He was still there for her, but it seemed as if he were stressed in her presence for whatever reason.

Elena had an idea. She stood up abruptly breaking the tentative stillness that had encompassed the room before and reached her hand out to Damon.

"Would you care to dance, Mr. Salvatore?" Elena's lips quirked in a teasing grin that felt unfamiliar from disuse but so right all the same.

Damon stared up at her. He appeared to be fighting a smile of his own with the reluctance she sensed from him. His smirk won out as he took her outstretched hand in a comforting grip. He drew her near and whispered for just the two of them. "Who am I to deny a lady? I'm not sure you can keep up though."

"I think we both know how well I can keep up with you," Elena replied cheekily. She still felt the misery swirling inside of her, but for now, just being in Damon's presence was enough to keep it at bay. She knew it would not last, but she would take what she could get.

Damon pulled her into his arms and rested one of his hands lightly on the curve of his back. His other had sought her hand to intertwine their fingertips.

They started swaying to the music of the quiet room, and Elena finally felt Damon relax in her hold.

She caught herself, as she had so many times before, staring at his lips. Their noses brushed as she found herself inching forward unconsciously. And judging by Damon's hooded eyes, she was not the only one. She realized that all pretenses of dancing had been dropped at some point, and now the two of them were completely still as the held each other.

Elena tilted her head up to close the distance between them. For a moment, it seemed Damon was going to meet her halfway when suddenly he pulled back with a joking smirk.

"I think it's time for bed. Dying just about killed me, you know how it is."

Elena looked at him confusedly. The restraint was lining his posture again, but he had been so calm not a second ago. So whatever it was that was bothering him was not a change in feelings. It almost looked like he was _fighting _his feelings for her for whatever reason.

"Yeah, it's late," was all she said. That was a problem for the morning anyway.

They climbed up the stairs in silence. At his doorway, he stopped and indicated towards the room that was officially hers. "Well, sweet dreams and don't let the bed bugs bite. Or don't bite the bed bugs, whatever works for you."

He made to leave, so Elena quickly grabbed his arm and tugged him back. He fell back against her chest-to-chest and looked at her in confusion. "Can I stay with you?"

She did not want to be alone with what was sure to be a night full of memories of her lost loved ones. And she did not want to leave him alone for a second. She was scared that if he left her sight, he would disappear without a trace.

Something in Damon's gaze finally softened, and without a word, he held the door open and gestured for her to enter. Damon threw her a shirt that probably cost more than her she had in her entire bank account and stripped off his own silently. She quickly removed her own clothes and donned his shirt. She noticed that strangely enough Damon was purposely not looking at her as she changed. What was going on with him?

They climbed into bed together as the weight of the day finally took its toll. Within minutes, all that sounded in the room was steady breathing.

And if at some point in the night they somehow wound up in each other's embrace, neither complained.

**So that was very emotional, right? Hope it wasn't too much, but I felt Elena would have a strong reaction to getting her humanity back and possibly losing Damon at the same time.**

**The chapter was a little different than my usual ones. The first draft was going to end with more action and danger, but I thought enough is enough. Leave the endless depression and death to Julie P. haha. Hope you liked it anyways. **

**Thanks for all the reviews. I loved hearing the- 99% off base- theories of what had happened last chapter. It's ridiculous but the reviews seem to fuel my inspiration since I always worry I'm wasting my time with something no one cares about xoxo**


	14. The Fault is in Ourselves

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_Home__ is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see is what is not there any more."_

**-Robin Hobbs**

* * *

**The Fault is in Ourselves**

**Chapter Thirteen**

_Brief Recap:_

_Elena looked at him confusedly. The restraint was lining his posture again. But he had been so calm not a second ago. So whatever it was that was bothering him was not a change in feelings. It almost looked like he was fighting his feelings for her for whatever reason._

"_Yeah, it's late," was all she said. That was a problem for the morning anyway._

_They climbed up the stairs in silence. At his doorway, he stopped and indicated towards the room that was officially hers. "Well, sweet dreams and don't let the bed bugs bite. Or don't bite the bed bugs, whatever works for you." _

_He made to leave, so Elena quickly grabbed his arm and tugged him back. He fell back against chest-to-chest and looked at her in confusion. "Can I stay with you?"_

_She did not want to be alone with what was sure to be a night full of memories of her lost loved ones. And she did not want to leave him alone for a second. She was scared that if he left her sight, he would disappear without a trace. _

_Something in Damon's gaze finally softened, and without a word, he held the door open and gestured for her to enter. Damon threw her a shirt that probably cost more than her she had in her bank account and stripped off his own silently. She quickly removed her own clothes and donned his shirt. She noticed that strangely enough Damon was purposely not looking at her._

_They climbed into bed together as the weight of the day finally took its toll. Within minutes, all that sounded in the room was steady breathing._

_And if at some point in the night they somehow wound up in each other's embrace, neither complained. _

* * *

Damon opened his eyes as sunlight filtered in through his window only to be faced with a different sight entirely.

He was entangled with all his dreams. One of his arms was thrown loosely over her hip, her hands had tightly clasped him to her, and their legs were so knotted they were indiscernible from each other.

Elena's face, relaxed with sleep, lay only inches away from his own. Her face had dried tear trails as if even peaceful sleep could not keep the pain away. He reached out to softy brush her cheeks, and she finally stirred. She blearily opened her eyes, her gaze at first glazed before she focused in on him.

"Hello there, Sleepyhead. I think it's time to rise and shine."

Elena smiled at him with all the warmth and emotion he had missed from her in the past weeks. Just that look made him want to melt in her arms and never leave again. But he could not, he knew better.

"_I'm mad at you because I love you!"_

"_Well, maybe that's the problem"_

"_You didn't think I actually loved you, did you? I was over Stefan and you were hot and desperate. What did you think would happen? I mean I've never seen someone so pathetically throw themselves out there again and again even as I told you repeatedly just how irritated it made me. You were always in the way with your pitiful attempts to be in my life."_

"_If I had my way, he never would be here at all. And he definitely wouldn't have been at Katherine's with Rebekah and me. Trust me, I couldn't have made it clearer that he was unwanted!"_

It was time Damon finally learned from his mistakes. He loved Elena, he would _always _love Elena, but that did not change the facts.

Elena always bent over backwards to please her loved ones, and she feared nothing more than losing one for whatever reason. And by some unexplainable happenstance, he was one of those loved ones. She did not want to lose him like she had lost so many other people which is why it was only in the heat of the moment at the Originals' ball or when she did not care to spare feelings with her humanity off that she told him how she really felt.

He just kept ignoring it, he kept hoping, but Elena was right: she could not have made it any clearer that he was unwanted in the way he wanted her.

He needed to accept that, and the best way to do that was to distance himself when they were having more than friendly moments. He would not leave her. Even if he could somehow pry himself away from her, he could not bring himself to leave her now. Maybe other people would find that pathetic, but Damon learned a long time ago that you did not have to live with other people's opinions of you; the most important thing was being able to live with yourself.

So Damon detangled himself and watched the sleepy happiness drain from Elena's eyes.

"Well, now that you're up, we can finally get to the fun plans for the day."

"Really?" Elena started wary, probably sensing what he was about to tell her, "What plans?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Go to the Grill, maybe shoot some pool, get wasted, and, of course, plot my death."

* * *

"I'm not sure about this," was all Stefan could come up with when Damon approached him in the living room. Elena was trailing behind him like a mad woman, and he had a sneaking suspicion that had he not been pathetically human and weak and on a mission to hurt himself, she would have already attacked him.

"I don't need you to be sure, I need you to give me your blood," Damon rolled his eyes. His brother was all contemplating the universe, morality, and the shape of his hair and no action. When Stefan still made no move to do what he demanded, Damon sighed, "What are you waiting for the blood to leave your body through osmosis or something? Chop chop!"

"Now hold on a second-" Stefan started before Damon ruthlessly cut him off.

"Why? For your amazing and informative research on the subject? Tell me, how did that go anyway?" Damon affected an interested pose ignoring Stefan's glare. "Come on, Stef! We know I'm coming back regardless, what can it really hurt?"

"Remind me to bring this conversation up when you're fighting with an alter ego from the cell in the basement."

"Wouldn't be the first time you put me in there. The last time was just a day ago actually."

"Damon, just think about this for a second. You've been given a second chance, are you really so quick to throw it away?"

_Oh, god no. Make it stop, _Damon groaned out loud at Stefan's words. _As if being cured gives anyone a second chance, I'm still the same person as before just now I'm a hundred times more useless and less likely to live until next week. _

Damon paused as if considering, "Okay, I thought about it. Now can we get to it?"

Stefan sighed put upon, but before he could make a move one way or the other, the front door opened revealing a hesitant looking Caroline Forbes.

"Hey, so I uh heard from Matt about… everything and wanted to stop by," she was purposely just looking at Stefan, not as if that was unusual but her posture was tense.

Elena had stood up from her spot on the couch at her entrance and now was frozen looking conflicted. "Hey Care," she finally managed.

Caroline looked at her, "Hey," she paused, "So how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, thanks," Elena replied pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

Caroline smiled awkwardly, "Great, that's great."

An uncomfortable silence hit the room.

"So," Damon started, "Now that we know everyone's hunky doory, let's-"

"I'm sorry," Elena interrupted still staring at Caroline, "I didn't mean it, I just-"

"I know!" Caroline cried as she blurred across the room to engulf Elena in a hug, "I didn't mean any of it either, I'm so sorry and so glad you're back!"

Well that was just blatant lies. Damon knew both of them had meant pretty much all of it, but since almost all of the awkwardness had dissipated at their impromptu hug, he decided to hold his tongue. Elena could use more steady relationships right about now.

"It's okay," Elena said smiling tremendously, "It's all over now."

Judging from what he had seen and heard from the two of them in the last couple weeks, Damon would say that it was definitely not all over, but who was he to judge? It was not as if he could boast he had healthier relationships.

Still, Damon had enough of the girl talk.

"Enough gushy mushy purging, let's get this show on the road already."

"You really enjoyed dying so much that your eager to do it again so soon?" Elena turned to him. She was trying for anger, but Damon could see right through that facade. He squashed the urge to comfort her. He needed to do this.

"Well, it wasn't my favorite experience," Damon paused contemplatively, "Those usual involve less clothing and more alcohol," he wriggled his eyebrows at the still embracing girls.

Stefan sighed. "Fine, let's try it. But try not to get too excited, we don't know what will happen."

"Yeah, yeah, Oprah, I got it."

Stefan started to raise his wrist to his lips when Damon balked, "Eww no."

"What?" Stefan asked confused.

"I'm not doing this in a way that requires sucking on your arm. We have knives and glasses."

Stefan rolled his eyes but still went to the kitchen to retrieve the items. He made a deep cut into his hand, clenched it into a fist, and drained some of his blood into an awaiting cup.

"There, it's done," he said as he handed the cup of blood to Damon.

Damon looked at it skeptically for a moment, "Well, down the hatch." He threw back the glass and drained the contents only grimacing slightly. "Well, brother, I hate to break it to you, but you taste disgusting. Bugs Bunny does not do the blood good apparently."

Stefan looked upwards as if asking for the patience to deal with Damon's antics from some higher power and then deadpanned, "What a pity."

"Okay, so now for the fun part, who's going to kill me?"

* * *

Elena became rigid once more at Damon's words. She was not sure she could watch this, not again, not so soon. Logically, she knew he would come back regardless, but could she really watch his eyes dim with death and his body crumble once more?

She did not realize she was shaking her head violently until Damon turned to her.

"Relax," he said in a softer voice than he had been, "It's going to be fine. And you don't even have to play executioner. Luckily for you, there a remarkable number people chomping at the bit to kill me." Damon pretended to look around curiously, "In fact, two of them are in this room!"

Elena would beg to differ with that. Caroline may never be able to stomach the idea of Elena loving Damon, but she was definitely not eager to be his murderer either. As for Stefan, his grimace at Damon's statement said enough. Sometimes Elena worried that Damon actually believed his own show and could no longer tell himself from the "asshole hated by everyone" façade he donned so often. That thought scared Elena more than she would admit.

Mistaking her pained expression for something else, Damon spoke to her seriously, "You can go somewhere else for this, you know. You don't have to watch."

Wiping her face of any doubt, Elena stuck her chin up, "Not likely."

"Well, then let's get to it," Damon replied cheerily. "Brother, would you care to do the honors?"

Caroline cast a worried glance to Stefan. Stefan looked at the ground and sighed before completely gathering himself. "Yeah, let's get this over with."

Nothing happened for a couple seconds. Elena saw Damon open his mouth probably to sarcastically quip about his brother's incompetence before Stefan shot forward. It was over in a beat, Stefan grasped Damon's neck in his firm grip and yanked before Damon could even recognize what was going on. A sickening crack echoed through the otherwise silent room.

Elena could not help but wince, and she noticed Caroline flinched as well. Elena had been among this type of violence for over a year now, in fact, she had killed Connor the same way, but it never got any easier for her. The fact that Damon was the victim only made it worse.

Damon's form crumpled into Stefan's awaiting arms soundlessly.

"So I guess now we wait," Stefan said as he laid Damon's body onto the couch.

Elena sat herself down next to Damon and lifted his feet into her lap as he had once done in this same area so long ago and settled in to follow Stefan's advice.

* * *

Elena was fidgety. She could not help it; the more time passed, the more she worried something must have gone wrong. Damon was gone from this world, and she had been a fool to assume anything in her life could work out.

The clock on the wall said it had only been a couple hours. Caroline had gone home and returned. Stefan had disappeared for a while to go do some things. He had told her, but Elena could not focus on his words. They had come and gone, but Elena had remained, Damon's feet still perched safely in her lap.

And without them and Damon's quick wit to keep her company, her world had descended into silence. She did not like the silence. It reminded her of what she did have any longer. It opened the door to her unwelcome thoughts. It brought memories of times where her life was not silent. Not because the world was ending, but because laughter and chatter could not be contained.

Luckily, it was in that moment that a telling gasp broke the stillness. In a second, Caroline and Stefan were in the room to see the outcome.

Damon was coughing uncontrollably, and Elena had to reach out and steady him before he fell into a graceless heap on the floor.

He rasped out, "Well, that was a trip." He hoisted himself up against the armrest of the couch and drew his legs out of her grip. Elena tried not to let the feeling of rejection reach her face.

Stefan came forward with a glass. The appetizing smell wafted to Elena's nose and she realized how hungry she was. She needed to get some after this.

Elena saw Damon's eyes flicker uncertainly. _He must be scared_, she thought suddenly. Damon did not want to be human especially if everyone he knew was not. Damon grabbed the glass without hesitation though and took a quick sip.

Immediately Damon's face contorted in disgust. "You have got to be kidding me! I can't believe it didn't work!"

Elena felt her heart fall. Honestly, she wanted it to work as much as Damon did. Damon was right when he spoke earlier to her, vampire and human relationships really can never work out.

"Maybe not," Stefan admitted. They all turned to look at him questioninly, "Well, I just mean if the ring revives you, how are you supposed to really die and become a vampire? Has anyone ever been turned with it on and killed by someone supernatural? I figured it might interfere to be honest," he confessed guiltily.

Damon looked struck between hope and rage over Stefan's speculation. "Why the hell do these things have so many rules and asterisks attached to them? It's magic! Shouldn't it just abracadabra, hocus pocus, and work?"

In a fit of anger, Damon yanked off the ring and threw it across the room.

"Damon, no!" Elena cried as she quickly blurred to pick it up, "I know why you're upset, but you can't just stop wearing it."

"Why not? I'm only one more trip to the Grim Reaper before going all Jack Torrance on you anyway."

Elena realized with a start that he was right. Ric had already started killing people by his fourth death, maybe even earlier, and Damon had just died twice in a forty eight hour time span.

"I'm not wearing that thing ever again," and with that, Damon stormed out of the house before anyone could stop him.

Elena nervously tucked her hair behind her ear again. What were they going to do? She shook off those depressing thoughts and clutched the ring tightly in her hand as she made to follow him.

"Elena, wait." She turned to see Caroline there staring at her hesitantly, "Do you want company?"

Elena's lips curled into a smile. Things would probably never be the same between her and Caroline, but she appreciated the effort. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

Caroline beamed at her, "So where are we going?"

"Where Damon always goes," Elena rolled her eyes affectionately and her smile settled into something more natural, "The Grill."

* * *

"You're looking alive," Matt said by way of greeting as Damon sat himself down at the Grill's bar. Matt held a hand up to cover a yawn still clearly drained from last night's activities. Damon could relate.

"Yeah, too alive," Damon muttered.

"So um are you sure you should be here what with the Mayor still after you? I heard Sheriff Forbes say that he was refusing to give up."

"Sucks for him, doesn't it?" Damon could not believe that guy was still so hung up on him just for threatening him once. Mister Mayor has a wackjob for a daughter, a town infested with supernatural creepy crawlies, an apocalypse brewing on the horizon, and somehow he decided _Damon_ was his biggest concern?

Matt placed one glass of bourbon in front of Damon and another in front of the seat to Damon's left wordlessly.

_Maybe that's why, _Damon mused over his bourbon, _he can't control anything else, so he's focused on me._

The Grill was completely silent. It was not even ten am on a Tuesday yet, and people were clearly out and about living their dull, little lives. In fact, Busboy was his only company. That alone was enough to send chills down his spine, but there was something more. Damon had a bad feeling.

"Say, Quarterback," Damon began casually, "When was your little chit chat with Liz?"

Matt looked shocked that Damon bothered to talk to him and scratched his head in contemplation. "Just this morning actually. She came in here quickly for a visit and mentioned it. I wasn't really paying much attention honestly, I was so tired since I didn't sleep last night…"

Matt kept speaking, but Damon drowned him out. If Damon did not know any better, he would say that was a warning from Liz. And since Damon actually did not know any better, he rose out of his seat without a word and made for the exit.

"Hey, what's wrong? Where are you going?" Quarterback called out to him, but Damon kept walking steading towards the exit.

He was a solid ten feet away when he saw His Most Irritating Stalker step in followed closely by Liz and the same deputy as before.

Liz did not look happy as the Mayor and his useless sidekick pointed their guns at him. "I hardly think that is necessary," she stated calmly. At least someone realized how pointless this whole endeavor was.

The Mayor proved his own idiocy once more by ignoring her, "Damon Salvatore, we have tried to approach this civilly, but you have left us no choice."

Damon just looked at him incredulously. What was wrong with this guy? Between him and Abby, it was a wonder that Bonnie did not end up dumb as a doornail.

"These guns are filled with wooden bullets, so stand down immediately. We won't hesitate to use them," the Mayor continued firmly.

"It won't make any difference," Damon said. Wooden or metal bullets, it did not matter. Both would kill him easily as he was now.

Unfortunately, the Mayor thought he was insulting their remarkably questionable competence. "You like being a wise guy, huh? Well, how do you like this?"

Then Damon jolted back in pain as the wooden bullet pierced his stomach.

* * *

**So there's the next chapter. Hope you guys like it! The title comes from a Shakespearean quote I love: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,  
But in ourselves, that we are underlings." Ponder that for the meaning of this chapter.**

** Please review! xoxo**


	15. Rise From the Ashes

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn."_

**- Mahatma Ghandi**

* * *

**Rise From the Ashes**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_Brief Recap:_

_The Mayor proved his own idiocy once more by ignoring her, "Damon Salvatore, we have tried to approach this civilly, but you have left us no choice."_

_Damon just looked at him incredulously. What was wrong with this guy? Between him and Abby, it was a wonder that Bonnie did not end up dumb as a doornail._

"_These guns are filled with wooden bullets, so stand down immediately. We won't hesitate to use them," the Mayor continued firmly._

"_It won't make any difference," Damon said. Wooden or metal bullets, it did not matter. Both would kill him easily as he was now._

_Unfortunately, the Mayor thought he was insulting their remarkably questionable competence. "You like being a wise guy, huh? Well, how do you like this?" _

_Then Damon jolted back in pain as the wooden bullet pierced his stomach._

* * *

Damon fell back as the second bullet embedded itself into his thigh. _This is just not my century, _he thought with a wry smirk.

Damon lay on the ground and felt a sense of déjà vu. Almost a hundred and fifty years ago his own father had shot him and he had fallen back to the ground much like he was positioned now. Though, his father actually had a reason for shooting him he supposed. He still did not know what the hell was stuck up Bonnie's psychotic dad's ass.

The pain washed over him as he drifted in and out of awareness.

* * *

"Oh god, what the hell?" Matt exclaimed as he rushed forward. He was looking horrified at the bleeding Damon on the floor. He frantically pulled out his phone and started to dialing. "Dr. Fell? Can you come to the Grill? It's an emergency! Da-"

Matt was abruptly cut off as the Mayor strode purposely across the room and yanked the phone out of his hand. He hung up ignoring the buzzing from the other end.

"Son, I understand your fear, but it is misplaced here."

"Wait, give that back! I need to call Elena and Bonnie!"

"There's no reason to involve my daughter or anyone in this. The monster will be fine-"

"No, he won't, you don't understand! And he's not a monster-"

Mayor Rudy Hopkins was shaking his head steadily, "This creature does not deserve your defense. He has done unspeakable things."

Matt scoffed, "I'm not defending his personality or actions, I'm saying you don't understand. He is _literally _not a monster."

They were talking in circles. Matt was poorly conveying his meaning, and the Mayor was completely missing his point. While they were speaking, Liz had approached Damon's gasping body slowly and curiously.

Matt was well on his way to freaking out. "What the hell am I going to tell Elena?" She had just seen Damon "die" a few hours earlier, and Matt had seen firsthand just how distraught she had become over it. How much more death could she handle? Matt may not understand the absurd attraction, but he knew Elena really cared about Damon. "What did he even do to bring this on?" Damon had done so many awful things since coming to Mystic Falls, and no one had ever just shot him to his knowledge.

Mayor Hopkins straightened up. "He was guilty of threatening a public official: me. He vowed to harm me should I not comply with his demands."

"With all due respect, Mayor Hopkins, he kind of talks like that to me every time I see him. I don't take it seriously, he always talks to his brother like that, too." Matt seemed confused among all the chaos. Damon was far from his favorite guy, but Matt appeared intent of justifying Damon's typical tactless behavior. Or maybe he just was so accustomed to it that it seemed strange for someone to complain. Matt scratched his head absentmindedly, "Actually, I don't think I've ever seen him actually be nice to someone before."

"That hardly seems like the type of person you should defend then," Mayor Hopkins responded dryly.

"I'm not defending him. You don't understand what you just did. This is going to destroy Elena and she just lost his last family member. And Damon's kind of horrible, but you just killed him! While he was unarmed!"

"These creatures don't need standard weapons, and it takes more than a quick shot to keep them down." The Mayor was completely ignoring him, and Matt was at a loss of what to do.

"Forget that, we need to call 911!" Matt ran his hands through his head more and more furiously.

"Rudy," Liz cut in tentatively, "Look," the Sheriff indicated to Damon with her head. Her hands were pressed firmly into his stomach wound. As she spoke, Damon began coughing up blood. It dribbled down his chin uncontrollably making crimson trails line his jaw and neck. Liz pushed harder down on his stomach, adjusting her position over him for better pressure.

"Liz," Damon mumbled, his eyes glazed over making Matt question whether or not Damon was really aware of what was going on, "If you wanted to get close to me, all you had to do is ask." Damon's words were slurred with effort and his body trembled under some unseen tension.

Liz smiled at him tolerantly, "Well, how about I ask what happened to you in the last couple weeks? Will you answer that?"

Damon made a gurgling sound as he spit up more blood and murmured something that sounds like, "I'm a sucker for brunettes," before he seemed to lose consciousness.

Matt grimaced. Damon was as good as dead. He was killed not for any of his real legitimate crimes but because of a miscommunication that resulted in an accidental murder. He watched as comprehension dawned on the Mayor, and the deputy seemed to be panicking in guilt over having aided in killing a man. This was such a mess. He was about to demand someone with a phone call 911 again when Meredith Fell burst through the door.

* * *

Elena was enjoying the tentative peace with Caroline. She had been worried that her blonde best friend might hold her recent actions against her for a while. No one could hold a grudge that Elena knew like Caroline could hold a grudge.

Elena smiled hesitantly and linked her arm with Caroline as they always used to do when they were kids and needed to be close enough to be in "emergency gossip distance" as a ten year old Caroline had dubbed it.

"_You never know when we're going to hear news that will change our lives," Caroline's eyes had widened dramatically, "Like what I heard from Dana in math about a certain blonde haired hottie succumbing to Elena Gilbert's charms."_

_They had giggled into their huddle because oh my god, Matt liked Elena. He _liked _liked Elena. This changed everything!_

Elena sighed at the memory. Her giddiness had faded so much with the reality of her life, but at the same time, moments like this with Caroline made her feel that she could still partially grasp that simpler time.

And with that thought, Elena spontaneously turned to Caroline, "Let's get Bonnie before we go to the Grill. Matt's working now, and we can play some pool and get some food as we try to find a way to keep going on through this craziness."

Caroline beamed at her, "I like the way you think, Elena Gilbert."

And Caroline's natural enthusiasm was contagious. Elena's uncertain smile melted into something genuine, and she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She could do this. Her friends had not abandoned her, her humanity was back and had not caused her to fall into a pile of despair, and everyone left she loved was alive and well. Maybe things were finally looking up.

* * *

Caroline knocked on Bonnie's door twice. When there was no response for another couple seconds, she grew impatient and started knocking again to a specific beat. Elena could not help but let out a laugh when she recognized the beat of "Call Me Maybe." _Only Caroline, _Elena thought fondly. Caroline threw her a grin in response.

The door opened and a distracted Caroline almost whacked Bonnie on the head by accident.

Bonnie smiled uncertainly as both her friends froze guiltily, "You know, I heard you the first time."

* * *

Matt felt torn as he watched a grim faced Dr. Fell check over Damon's condition. He should call Elena. He should let her know that Damon's life hang in the balance because Elena deserved to know. And so did Stefan, Matt should call him as well. But the thing was Matt could read the stressed lines on Meredith's face as she monitored Damon's pulse and probed his still body.

Damon was breathing heavily with such audible strain that Matt doubted he was getting any air in.

"What happened, Matt? I don't understand," Liz was still applying pressure to the still bleeding wound, but she was focused on him for the time being.

Matt figured there was no harm telling them now, "Uh Damon took Elena away to New York because she was kind of going crazy, but it turns out that Elena had orchestrated they go there, so she could get revenge on Katherine. Damon found her and tried to stop her but somehow got cured in the process. I don't really know, it's all very… weird." At Liz's disbelieving look, "Yeah, you should probably ask Caroline. I think she knows more than I do."

"Caroline knows? Why wouldn't she tell me?" Liz now looked hurt, but Matt could not bring himself to really care. He could only imagine Elena's reaction. After last night, she would lose it.

"Umm Damon was trying to keep it quiet, I think she, Elena, Stefan, and I were the only ones who knew."

"I did, too," Meredith spoke absentmindedly still concentrated on her patient. She paused and grimaced, "He's going into shock, even if we had an ambulance here, I don't think he would live long enough to reach the hospital."

"Check his hand," Matt pointed out helpfully, "If he still has his ring, we just need to find someone supernatural to kill him before he dies."

Matt ignored the confused cries from Mayor Hopkins and his deputy as Meredith dutifully looked over both of Damon's hands.

"No, there's only his daylight ring."

"What? He was just wearing it last night!"

* * *

Elena was glad Bonnie seemed overjoyed at the idea of girl time at the Grill. Okay, "girl time" with Matt but still.

After they had piled into Elena's car, they had filled Bonnie on everything she had missed recently, and Elena would not forget her comical reaction to Damon's newfound humanity any time soon.

More worrisome, however, was Bonnie's explanation of her recent weeks. She seemed to be suffering memory blackouts and the expression circle had been completed. Elena could not handle thinking about it. She could not imagine the possibility of Alaric and Jeremy's resurrection along with every vampire who haunted her nightmares still long after their deaths. She could not deal with Mikeal, the tomb vampires, Ben McKittrick, Noah, Kol, Gretta, Dr. Martin, Sage, or any of the other supernatural threats she had faced down in the past couple years. Once was enough. She forced all those thoughts out of her mind, she was determined to have one day of relaxation with her friends before facing their usual dangerous drama.

As they approached the Grill, the first thing Elena noticed was Damon's Camaro parked in the lot. Any doubt of Damon's whereabouts vanished at the sight. _Typical, Damon, _Elena thought affectionately, _The bar is always the first stop in a non-crisis. _Elena absentmindedly recognized that there were very few cars, but that was probably because it was still early in the morning.

A smile was still lingering on her lips when Bonnie stopped suddenly.

"What is going on?" the witch muttered.

Elena looked to where Bonnie was focused on and froze. There were deputies stationed at the entrance of the Mystic Grill to prevent people from going in.

"Damon's car is here," Elena spoke as her breathing quickened. She had a really bad feeling about all this, "And so is Matt's truck."

"That's my mom's car," Caroline pointed to one of the only other vehicles around, "And isn't that your Dad's car right next to it, Bonnie?"

Elena was out of the car and running before Caroline had finished speaking. The car was still running, but Elena could not care less. Something was wrong, she could tell. And two people she loved were in there, both with the incredible ability to attract danger.

The deputies moved to stop her, and she snarled ferociously, "Move or I'll make you."

"Miss, no one is allowed inside at the moment, if you'll just return at another time-"

"Out of my way," Elena had shoved the asshole out of the way before he could finish talking and barreled through the door.

The sight that greeted her made her stop dead.

The air whooshed out of her abruptly, and she felt as if she could not move for a moment. But only a moment and then she was flinging herself into action.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Elena started hyperventilating. What? How? Why did this keep happening?!

Damon was shaking on the floor with two large patches of red decorating his clothes on his thigh and stomach. And when Elena kneeled down beside him, she found herself in a scarily huge pool of his blood that was still seeping out. "I don't understand. I just don't- what is going on- how?" Elena felt as if her sense of logic had decided to walk out on her. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Mayor Hopkins uhh shot him not knowing he was no longer a vampire," Matt spoke up from behind her. Funny, she had not even noticed him.

Elena started to draw her wrist to her mouth to feed him her blood when she was struck with a painful realization. Damon was gasping like a fish out of water so out of it that he did not even register her presence. She looked at Meredith who shook her head silently. No amount of vampire blood would help at this point, it could only do so much. And he already had a glass of it in his system that seemed to be doing nothing to help.

Still functioning on auto pilot, Elena changed tactics. She may not be able to heal him, but she could still ensure he would come back. Elena frantically fished in her pocket for the eternity ring she had luckily decided to bring along and moved to place it on Damon's finger. Bonnie's dad was human, but she was not. If she could just put it on him and kill him before he died…

"Elena, no!" a voice shrieked next to her ear. Elena was wrenched off of Damon before she could secure the ring on his finger. It tumbled uselessly to the ground beneath her. _No, no, no, no, no… _What was going on? She looked to the side and saw Caroline had picked her up to draw her away from Damon.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Elena, you can't. Damon's already died twice with that thing. Wasn't the third death the start of Evil Alaric? We can't have Damon running around with a murderous alter ego. His ego ego is murderous enough!"

Elena heard Matt exclaim, "Wait, he's died _again _in the last couple hours since I saw him? How is that even possible?" But she just ignored him.

"I don't care! We'll fix it, and Damon will be fine! Let me go! _Let me go!" _Elena thrashed violently in her grasp. She would take a Damon with split personality over no Damon. And Bonnie would probably be able to stop it anyway, right? She was stronger now! Everything would be fine if Elena could just reach Damon!

As Elena strained in Caroline's faltering grip, she heard a sound that made her blood run cold. It was just a quick exhalation of breath, but it was enough. Elena knew what it meant, she was practically a specialist of death by now.

Meredith checked her watch quickly, before muttering, "Time of death: eleven fifty seven."

Somehow those words made everything real for Elena again, the world started turning again, her vision focused again, and pain encompassed every fiber of her being once more. But only for a second, then a new sensation overwhelmed her.

Rage.

Elena yelled in fury and slammed her heel on Caroline's instep before butting her chin with her head- _just like Damon taught her to, _she thought distantly. She charged forward and slammed Mayor Hopkins into the wall with a death grip on his throat. How dare he? What right did he have to take away her Damon? _How dare he?!_

"Elena, stop!"

"Wait, don't!"

"No, Elena!"

"Let him go!"

She heard all the voices from far away but paid them no heed. They were not her target. _He _was. And she was going to make him pay!

"Why?" she shouted in his face, slamming him against the wall again for good measure and gave him no time to respond before she continued to scream.

"Elena, get off my father!" She heard Bonnie's cry, but she did not care. Did her father leave Damon alone? Did he?!

"How dare you? I hate you! I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I HATE YOU!" And just like that, she was breathing heavily not able to mutter another word. He throat felt sore from her shrieking and her cheeks were wet from the tears that would not stop raining down her cheeks. She wiped at her eyes furiously but to no avail. Somehow her grip on Bonnie's dad had loosened until she was just grasping his shirt.

He looked at her pained, but Elena did not want his guilt. He did not feel bad about killing Damon, only because it hurt her. Damon was just an afterthought to him. That was probably what everyone was thinking actually. Why should she cry so much over Damon Salvatore, the monster? And she hated them more for it. She hated them all for not understanding how amazing and lovable Damon Salvatore is. Was. She did not even know at this point.

Elena slumped to the ground ungracefully suddenly boneless. Was any of this even worth it? Could she go on having lost her entire family _and_ the man she loved? It all seemed too much.

Elena was bawling on the floor at this point, and everyone seemed hesitant to approach her.

"Elena," Caroline started quietly, "He still has Stefan's blood in him, he probably will come back."

Elena pressed the heels of her palms to her aching eyes. _Eyes should not be allowed to shed so many tears in so few days. _Her hands were clenched so hard that her knuckles had turned white under the strain and it drew attention to the warm metal decorated one of her fingers.

_This stupid thing, _Elena thought viciously. Her being a vampire had taken everything from her. It brought that moronic cure hunt that had stolen Jeremy and now Damon from her life. She jerked her daylight ring off with violent force and threw it across the room. No more.

"Elena!" That was Matt this time, but she still did not look up. Since she was in the shadows still, the sunlight had yet to make her skin sizzle. But that could easily be rectified. Prying her gaze off the Grill's dirty floor reluctantly, Elena could see a nearby patch of sunlight shining through an open window. She could get to it easily.

Suddenly she was tackled by Caroline again who forced her daylight ring back onto her finger. _Ironic, _Elena thought vaguely, _Since she was the one who stopped me from doing the same to Damon._

"Elena, I know you're upset, but you're not thinking clearly. Damon will very likely wake up a vampire again." Caroline was obviously exerting her full strength to pin Elena to the floor, but she need not have bothered. Elena was limp beneath and could not possibly imagine mustering up the strength to do anything ever again. Caroline continued, "And he'll wake up and wonder where you are, you don't want that, do you? Just take it easy for now, we'll deal with whatever comes when it does." Then discouraged by her lack of response, Caroline let up a little and shook her, "Do you hear me?"

"I don't want to be there when he doesn't wake up!" Elena cried piteously, "I don't want to watch him leave me! He promised he would never leave me! I don't want to see him break that promise!"

"Care," Matt called. Caroline looked to him desperately, and he made a gesture out of Elena's range of sight.

Next thing she knew, Caroline's hands were grasping her neck. And then blackness.

* * *

Elena woke up to chaos.

_Oh, the world must be ending, _she thought distantly. _What a nice change of pace, _she added sarcastically.

Stefan was bellowing loudly disturbing her peace. She just wanted to go back to bed, why did he have to wake her up?

She shifted to face Damon's side of his bed in the hopes that she could get him to shut his brother up when she was faced with a far more gruesome looking Damon that she anticipated.

Across the room of the Grill, Damon lay completely still. His eyes were opened partially and dried blood had marked paths from his lips onto his neck.

All lethargy that had overtaken Elena immediately disappeared. She remembered what happened in a rush and sat up fast enough to make her head spin. She could see Stefan ranting and raving at a defense looking Mayor Hopkins. Bonnie had positioned herself, so she could step in and defend her father should things escalate violently but she did not look like she agreed with him. In fact, her beautiful face was marred with distress. Caroline was next to her mother and Meredith perched on the stools at the bar sipping some warm beverage. All the deputies had disappeared. And Matt was- right next to her apparently.

"Hey, Elena," he started gruffly, "Sorry about that. We were just worried about you. You had us all pretty scared."

Elena just nodded. She felt numb all over. It was not the peaceful numbness that came with the switch, but the standard numbness of shock. And Elena feared her time with that bliss would run out quickly. "How long have I been out?"

"Just a couple hours," Matt said, and then he added unsurely, "Caroline said Damon will wake up soon." _If he's going to_ were the unspoken words to finish that sentence. "Care called Stefan. He's losing his mind and furious at Mayor Hopkins. Bonnie's trying to keep the peace, but I think even she is rattled, you know? How are you feeling?"

Elena could not answer. How _was_ she feeling? The words "like hell" fluttered within her mind, but she pushed them away.

"You come into town, turn everything around, and go around shooting people without even checking to see if they will be okay? Where do you get off?!" Stefan was visibly enraged, but Elena could not agree more, so she just watched the growing confrontation silently.

"Your brother was a menace and a threat to this town-"

"Really? You've spent so much time here that you _know _that? Did Sheriff Forbes and Dr. Fell agree with that assessment?" Stefan indicated to the two very uncomfortable looking women at the bar.

"They would have if asked, I'm sure." The women in question were silent. They were not ranting about Damon's greatness, but neither of them even so much as glanced at Mayor Hopkins though. In fact, Elena saw Liz run her hand over her face and shake her head soundlessly. She knew that neither of them would agree with Mayor Hopkins here.

"Oh, and what about your own daughter? Does she agree with your opinion? She must have thought he was a _huge _menace when he was determinedly searching an entire island just to make sure Bonnie wasn't left behind just a couple weeks ago! Or when he fed her his blood to save her life a couple months ago when she was attacked by a vampire! I'm sure she agreed then!" _It was funny,_ Elena thought, _Stefan really only defended Damon when everyone else was against him. Most of the time, he preferred to ignore his brother's nobler aspects. How typical._

Bonnie's dad looked at little unsure now, but he barreled on anyway, "Now, you're just making stuff up to defend your dangerous brother."

"He's telling the truth, Dad," Bonnie muttered uncomfortably, "Damon was the one who found me and brought me home those weeks ago." Elena knew logically that she had seen weirder things in her lifetime than Bonnie defending Damon, but it still seemed too surreal for her. She supposed that just like how Damon pretended he did not care for Bonnie, Bonnie pretended she still hated Damon.

But none of that mattered because Damon was dead.

Stefan laughed humorlessly, "I'm glad you really researched the man you hunted down and killed before going after him!"

"Now wait a second," Mayor Hopkins started when he regained his bearings, "Don't act like he was blameless here. I saw with my own two eyes-"

They would never know what he saw with his own two eyes because a now familiar to Elena rasping sound cut him off.

It was the most heavenly noise Elena had ever heard.

Damon coughed and looked around at the unusual group around him blearily. "Well, sorry to keep you all waiting. I see you started the party without me though. Does anyone have a drink?"

* * *

**And that's the next chapter! I really hope some people are still enjoying this because I keep getting unfollowed and unfavoritied, so I know some people are losing interest **

**I can't make promises on my next update since my school year is ending, and I have finals. But if you review, it inspires me, so please click that button and let me know how you feel!**


	16. Crossed Wires

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."_

**-Oscar Wilde**

* * *

**Crossed Wires**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Brief Recap:_

_But none of that mattered because Damon was dead. _

_Stefan laughed humorlessly, "I'm glad you really researched the man you hunted down and killed before going after him!"_

"_Now wait a second," Mayor Hopkins started when he regained his bearings, "Don't act like he was blameless here. I saw with my own two eyes-"_

_They would never know what he saw with his own two eyes because a now familiar to Elena rasping sound cut him off. _

_It was the most heavenly noise Elena had ever heard. _

_Damon coughed and looked around at the unusual group around him blearily. "Well, sorry to keep you all waiting. I see you started the party without me though. Does anyone have a drink?"_

* * *

Damon felt spectacular and horrible all at once as he ignored the dumbfounded gazes around him. He hardly cared what Mister Mayor, his lackeys, Blondie, and Quarterback thought of him. The spectacular came from the fact that Damon was finally a vampire again. _About fucking time, _he thought moodily. But the horrible was due to rediscovering a hundred and some odd years later what a bitch the vampire transition was again. Ugh, everything ached, and he felt nauseous. Great, just great.

While he was caught in his own musings, Damon was suddenly hit by a force so powerful that he careened backwards onto the floor once more. He opened his mouth to tell the thing on top of him to kindly- or maybe not so kindly- get the hell off him when an impact of a different sort shook him.

Given the initial power behind the tackle, Damon expected a similar violent energy from his attacker, but there was nothing bruising about this kiss. There was an undercurrent of desperation, but Damon was overwhelmed by the rain of sweetness assaulting his mouth. The way Elena was caressing his lips could only be described as loving.

It was that thought that derailed his plan to get lost in the sensation that was Elena Gilbert. _I know better_, he reminded himself, _she doesn't love me. She's just trying to keep me from leaving like everyone else by giving me what she knows I want. _The realizations were a bucket of cold water on his ardor.

And then, as if he needed _another _turn off, a loud voice cut across the room, "I could have lived centuries without that image, and it'll probably take an eternity to erase it from my mind. Eww!"

"Well, you know me, Blondie, always good for a show," Damon could not exactly sit up with Elena still straddling him, but it was okay. His quip still got the desired scowl on Caroline's face. Elena had pulled back at the sound of her voice and was now sitting red-faced on top of him. He took pity on her, he really did, but Damon could not scrounge a single ounce of embarrassment over their display.

In fact, he found himself crossing his arms behind his head and getting comfortable.

"So it takes three deaths before I get a kiss. What will a fourth death get me?"

"Nothing, because you're not dying again. Ever. I forbid it," Elena replied more seriously than he would have liked.

"I don't know, with benefits like these…" Damon trailed off teasingly.

That got Elena off him, which was normally not one of his goals, but Damon's self-control was always shaky when it came to her, so it was a good thing at the moment. Damon wanted nothing more than to melt into Elena's embrace, but he knew if he did, he would never be able to climb back out of it again. Had she actually loved him, Damon would not have minded that fate. As it was, however, he could not handle that pain again.

But as he watched Elena smile and tuck her hair behind her ear while speaking to Busboy, Damon could not help but wish he had the strength in him to just pretend. Surely, any amount of pain would be well worth it to be able to embrace Elena Gilbert all the time.

* * *

The group dispersed quickly after that. Elena had to shake off the embarrassment at everyone witnessing her overenthusiastic public display of affection earlier with Damon. She had purposely avoided looking at Stefan, too. Who knows what he thought, though Elena struggled to really feel bad for him which made her feel guilty. But she could not help but do it! It felt like for once things had worked out against the odds. I mean when did they ever get lucky?

Just the knowledge that Damon was a vampire again, no permanent harm done, was enough to bring a smile to her face. Just this one thing going right made it almost easier to repress all the bad things still bringing her down. Almost.

Jeremy was still everywhere for her. He was the aftertaste on her tongue when she spoke, he was where her mind drifted given a moment's pause, he was in Matt's eyes when they spoke, he was in the Grill, in the school, and he was in her bones. She did not think she would ever escape the crushing guilt and pain that Jeremy's memory now brought her. She would have rather remembered all he good times, but no amount of platitudes could change the fact that her last memories of Jeremy consisted of blood, rot, and fire. It would follow her everywhere.

Pushing the sadness thinking of Jeremy brought her aside, she decided to try a stay strong. She could not afford to spend more time breaking down over her losses. If she did, she feared she would never get back up again.

She arrived back at the boarding house alone. Everyone had taken their own car, so each of them had retreated separately. Still, Elena could see Damon's light blue Camaro when she parked and knew she could catch him one on one finally.

When the space near the liqueur cart proved to be empty, Elena had hopped up the steps and into Damon's room. She peeked in but did not see him. Confused, she tapped into her vampire senses and extended her hearing. She immediately heard Damon's furious voice down from the basement. Considering she could hear Stefan as well, she immediately rushed down to join them. There was nothing Elena liked less than when the Salvatore brothers fought.

Surprisingly, the sight that greeted her was not bloodied and violent. Damon was leaning over the refrigerator they stocked the blood bags in. His arms were braced on either side and were held so tightly the tendons were clearly visible even to Elena across the room.

"I'm going to wring her neck!" Damon was muttering into the fridge while Stefan looked on somewhat sympathetically.

"What's going on?" Elena asked.

"Vampire Barbie the blood bag thief, that's what!" Damon shouted.

He appeared to be shaking with rage at this point, and Elena could not fathom why. She looked to Stefan for clarification.

Stefan ran his hand over his face tiredly and sighed. "Caroline has been spending more and more time here lately, and she tends to rely on our supply of blood bags. I guess she finished up the last couple without telling us."

Oh, that was not good. Damon still had plenty of time until the transition would kill him without blood, but Elena knew from firsthand experience how unpleasant it was trying to get you to drink.

"She's been a vampire a year, and she's still living off the supply I steal. Why can't she Bonnie and Clyde her own stock?"

"Calm down, Damon," Elena soothed, "I'll just go get you some from the hospital." However, the response she received was not reassuring. At the brother's dubious and tense looks, she asked, "What?"

"Remember what Meredith said?" Stefan asked, "All blood banks within thirty miles have had been pilfered."

"Oh, no, what are we going to do?" Elena could not believe it. Did they go through all that just to have Damon die? _Again_?

"Well, we're going to do this the old fashioned way," Damon rolled his eyes. When Stefan and Elena looked at him uncomprehending, he scoffed, "Oh, come on. You two are like Edward Cullen. There should be an award for the suckiest vampires. You'd win the prize every year, brother."

"You've read _Twilight_?" Elena asked incredulously at the same time Stefan sighed and told Damon, "Get on with it."

"Blame Miss Mystic Falls for that horror story," he told Elena before continuing. "I know this may come as a shock to the two of you, but vampires actually usually eat," he paused for dramatic effect and widened his eyes before whispering, "People. Gasp!"

Elena was embarrassed to admit that for a second that idea had slipped her mind. She was just so panicked all the time lately.

"Everyone in town probably still has vervain in their systems," Stefan reminded them.

"So we'll go out of town," Damon shrugged, "Surely we'll find on good Samaritan before reaching Richmond. Anyone up for a road trip?"

"I'll go," Elena piped up, "You'll need someone to drive once you get all withered from the transition."

"Please, Elena. This face doesn't 'wither,'" Damon teased, but Elena had seen some foreboding emotion pass over him first, and it made her heart sink. He was still pulling away from her, she supposed.

Well, at least she had this trip to do something about it.

* * *

Damon stared moodily out the window of the car.

Elena had opted to drive, explaining that she knew the transitional experience well and driving was probably best left to the one who was not liable to become dizzier by the hour. She had a point there but that did not mean he had to like it. He loved driving, he never got tired of the feel of the wheel beneath his fingertips or the way his Camaro glided over smooth pavement. Needless to say, he was not happy to be playing passenger this road trip.

"Are we there yet?" Damon joked to cut through the silence. Things had been quiet throughout the drive for the most part. The silence was not awkward, but Elena's brow was furrowed, and she looked like she was gearing up for something with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. It worried Damon. Elena only adopted that stance when she was preparing to talk about feelings, moral compasses, or something equally horrifying.

Luckily, his quip broke her concentration, "You tell me, do you see any good Samaritans?"

"Did Elena Gilbert just make a joke about eating people?" Damon asked dramatically only half kidding.

Unfortunately, his teasing fell flat as it caused a shadow to cross Elena's face. "I just want to make sure you'll be alright." Then she gathered herself up in the way that always made Damon proud and said, "You have a problem with that?"

"No, of course not, Florence Nightingale. Feel free to take care of me," Damon wriggled his eyebrows at her suggestively at that last part.

Elena cut her eyes to his and spoke cheekily, "Maybe I will."

* * *

The atmosphere was lighter in the car now, and it made Elena cheerful again. She and Damon had continued to tease each other for the rest of the trip. Elena could still sense Damon was holding back from her, but she planned to address it soon enough, so she let it slide for the time being.

Finally, they spotted a man alone on the side of the road with a broken down car. Elena rolled down her window and called, "Do you need a jump?"

The guy's eyes widened gratefully, "Yeah, that would be great!"

Elena did have all the equipment to jumpstart the stranger's car, and she set about to do it. Secretly, she was glad to be able something nice for him. It made her feel better about the fact that he was about to be fed on. She thought Damon knew that was why she was going through all the motions to help the guy out, but kindly he said nothing.

After they fixed his car, the man turned to them with gratitude. "Thanks so much, I thought I was going to be stuck here for hours. How can I repay you?"

Elena looked him deeply in the eyes and compelled, "Relax, you're not scared. My friend is going to feed on you, but you don't mind." The man repeated the words back to her, and Elena might have felt bad if Damon had not looked so run down.

Quickly, she bit into the man's neck to make a puncture wound before forcing herself back. The thirst was powerful, but she was more concerned about Damon at the moment.

Damon came around beside her, assessed the man cooly, and darted forward.

* * *

Damon felt better than he had in a long time. He was stronger, faster, and ready to take on the world. He had missed being a vampire.

His control was a little off. He feed messier on the man than he had since 1864. It was not Stefan level of sloppy, but still Damon had always held pride in his control. He hoped it would come back soon.

He also wanted to test his strength. He did not feel like a new vampire, so would he really only be as strong as one? He would have to find out. It would be awful though to no longer be able to kick Stefan's ass. He could only imagine how painful living with his brother would become if that were the case.

They were only a few minutes from Mystic Fall's welcome sign when Elena abruptly pulled over.

"What are you doing," Damon asked. But she did not say a word as she climbed out of the car.

_What the hell? _Damon thought before someone wrenched open his car door and yanked them outside.

Elena slammed him against the side of the car and crushed his lips to hers. Immediately, Damon felt lust rise up within him. He froze for only a second before giving in.

He traced his hands along the curves of her outline to rest them on her hips. She was driving him wild as one of her hand imbedded itself in his hair and yanked his head back to allow her to take control of the kiss.

His hands drifted along the hemline of her shirt and then snuck up beneath it to caresses her stomach. She moaned into his mouth and ground her hips into his.

Damon was about five seconds away from throwing her to the ground and having her right then and there when she pulled back to take a breath. Just that brief loss of contact allowed him the ability to think for a second. And with those thoughts came all the reasons he could not do this again.

"Elena," he rasped as he pushed her away, "Stop."

She looked at him uncomprehendingly, "What?"

"I can't do this," was all he said.

"Why?"

She could not even imagine him not wanting to be with her. He supposed that was fair, he could not imagine him not wanting to be with her either. But still he had to put a stop to this.

"You know why," he said. And she did, she was the one who did not feel the same way about him.

Elena just blinked at him, "What is wrong with you?"

"How can you say that?" Damon reeled back. How could she not understand why he would not want to be with someone he loved but only felt for him physically.

"Very easily. What's gotten into you?"

"Come on, you know what you said back in New York. Do you want me to give you a play by play?" Damon asked incredulously.

Elena cocked her head to the side, "Wait, are you actually _mad _at me about that still? It doesn't matter, just forget about it. We should just resume our relationship from before."

Damon stared at her dumbfounded. She did not think it mattered that she did not feel the same? She thought it was nothing, and they could just have sex like nothing was wrong. What the hell? Suddenly, Damon was pissed. "You know what? You're right, it doesn't matter! None of this matters! I should just be on my way then."

With that, he spun on his heel and stormed off.

Elena gaped at him. "Damon, wait-"

"No, don't worry about me. The Grill is not too far from here. 'It doesn't matter, just forget about it.'" And before she could answer, Damon utilized his newly regained vampire speed and blurred away.

* * *

By the time she arrived back at the house, Elena was still so angry. What the hell was Damon going on about? He just could not let himself be happy for once! It was depressing but also infuriating! Why could he not just listen to her for a change?

Should she run him down and apologize for whatever he thought she did? She could also go after him to give him a piece of her mind, would that be right? Or maybe she should let him cool off on his own? She stewed in her thoughts for a few minutes debating what to do before she heard a sound behind her.

Damon was standing innocuously in the doorway to their room- _his, _she reminded herself insistently, _it's his room- _staring at her, "Sorry to startle you, I just wanted to talk."

"What?" Elena gritted out still upset, "Come to yell at me some more about nothing?"

Damon's eyes flashed before his face shifted into something apologetic, "Actually, I came to say sorry. I didn't mean it, I was just stressed out."

Elena's eyes narrowed, was this a joke? It was not that Damon was incapable of apologizing to her, he just normally did not for anything less than murder, and he rarely did it so soon after they fought.

Damon sensed her skepticism and continued sincerely, "Really, I'm sorry."

That was enough for Elena. She was tired of fighting anyway and missed him as soon as he left anyway. Her face relaxed gratefully, "Apology accepted."

There was a slightly awkward pause which confused Elena because she did not usually need to try with Damon. He always made their interactions memorable. They could be infuriating, disappointing, or painful, but they were never uneasy before.

"I was thinking," Damon started, "We should probably talk more about the Silas threat. Have you talked to Stefan or Caroline without me lately about it?"

_What a strange topic to start with, he must be avoiding the actual issues_, Elena thought, _well I won't let him this time._ "Yeah, I have, but I don't want to talk about future evil right now," Elena smiled giddily and wrapped her arms around Damon's neck. "Let's just enjoy one secret, selfish day for now." Elena grinned at him teasingly hoping her allusion to their perfect night would cheer him up. Unfortunately, he seemed to ignore the reference entirely. In fact, his disposition seemed annoyed for some reason.

Damon shifted uncomfortably and only placed his hands on her hips lightly in response to her show of affection. It struck Elena as odd, Damon was crazily affectionate with her. But then again, he has been so strange lately.

"Are you sure you don't want to just discuss the Silas threat now?"

Elena laughed happily. "I know it's strange, but right now I just feel a little…" she searched for the word before finally settling on, "lighter, you know? I mean everything that's happened recently has really taken it's toll on everyone, but I'm just so glad that you're a vampire again."

Damon stiffened in her grip. She could feel the tendons in his neck tense under her fingers. His eyes shuttered as if to protect her from seeing into his thoughts. He licked his lips before asking cautiously, "What do you mean?"

Elena paused. That was a strange question coming from the guy who had been on suicide missions to restore his vampirism before she understood his meaning. She let him go reluctantly to address his question. "Oh, well I guess I never said anything because I was worried what you would do, but I wanted you to turn back, too. When you were cured, it scared me so much even with my humanity off," Elena looked away a little hesitant to admit this after the fight they had just had, "And I could not imagine living forever without you. I was so worried you'd get hurt and knew that turning human again would mean you would eventually die, but-"

Elena had raised her head to see Damon's reaction only to find he had vanished into thin air.

"Damon?" she called out, but no one answered.

_What the hell?_

* * *

Damon was propped up in the Mystic Grill. Considering he had died there just this morning, people might be inclined to believe he would avoid it. But they were wrong, Damon would take copious amounts of alcohol anywhere as long as it

Still, Damon could not help but stare at his bloodstains sloppily cleaned up on the floor. Damon was right, Matt really did have no discernable skills. He could not even manage to clean up bloodstains after over a year of being in the presence of vampires. It was just sad at this point.

Damon recognized that his thoughts were becoming less coherent, but he kept the flow of alcohol coming anyway.

Suddenly his phone lit up and the name that consumed all his thoughts decorated the screen. He narrowed his eyes at it through his alcohol glaze debating whether or not he should pick up. If she wanted him, she undoubtedly knew where to find him. _That settles it, _he thought assuredly returning to his drink and watching his phone dim again.

But not a second passed before it was glowing again to indicate another call. He sighed and decided to just bite the bullet in case it was a matter of life and death. Seriously, someone better be dying…

"Lovesick moron answering. What does the lady want from me now?"

"Damon, are you drunk?" Damon opened his mouth to tell her just how intoxicated he was when she continued on without waiting for a reply, "Forget that, it's not important. I need to ask you a weird question, were you just here? Did we reconcile?"

"What kind of crap are you pulling now?" Damon was getting pissed off now, she was calling to see if he was over their fight already just an hour later?

"Seriously, Damon! Were you just in the house talking to me?"

"Nope," Damon said carelessly, "The only one I've been talking to for the last hour is my good friend Mr. Jack Daniels and his friend Mr. Jim Beam." Damon grabbed the bottles in question and poured generous servings of each into two different glasses. He had a feeling he would need some liquid courage for this conversation. Or, more accurately, more liquid courage.

He heard Elena suck in a sharp breath over the phone which unfortunately sparked his interest. He reluctantly put the glasses down and sat up. "But the better question would be why would you wonder whether or not I was just talking to you."

"Damon," Elena spoke tightly, "I was _just _talking to you. You were acting strange, but since you'd be weird to me lately, I shrugged it off. But then you just vanished while I was talking to you, and I got a bad feeling that maybe…"

"It wasn't me at all," Damon finished for her sobering immediately. "I'm on my way home." He hung up the phone immediately and gathered his things. What the hell was going on? First Shane, then Bonnie, and now him? What were they dealing with? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? He felt like himself still, so maybe it was more that Mystique was going around impersonating people? Ugh it was like The Thing or something! It had to be Silas, but how? Why?

Damon grimaced, _just what I needed. _Without a word he downed both glasses of bourbon and left the Grill to reconvene at the boarding house.

He made it only a few steps out the Grill door before someone was upon him. As the blackness overtook his vision, his last thought was that he wished he had actually told Elena they had reconciled.

* * *

**So lots of miscommunication going on here. **

**Thanks for all the great responses for the last chapter! I really hope you're still liking it. Poor Elena and Damon can't get a break, can they?**

**The only reason I updated again despite my finals is you guys were so great to review, so if you want another update, you know what to do**


	17. The Art of War

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance."_

**-John Lennon**

* * *

**The Art of War**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Brief Recap:_

_"Nope," Damon said carelessly, "The only one I've been talking to for the last hour is my good friend Mr. Jack Daniels and his friend Mr. Jim Beam." Damon grabbed the bottles in question and poured generous servings of each into two different glasses. He had a feeling he would need some liquid courage for this conversation. Or, more accurately, more liquid courage._

_He heard Elena suck in a sharp breath over the phone which unfortunately sparked his interest. He reluctantly put the glasses down and sat up. "But the better question would be why would you wonder whether or not I was just talking to you."_

"_Damon," Elena spoke tightly, "I was just talking to you. You were acting strange, but since you'd be weird to me lately, I shrugged it off. But then you just vanished while I was talking to you, and I got a bad feeling that maybe…"_

"_It wasn't me at all," Damon finished for her sobering immediately. "I'm on my way home." He hung up the phone immediately and gathered his things. What the hell was going on? First Shane, then Bonnie, and now him? What were they dealing with? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? He felt like himself still, so maybe it was more that Mystique was going around impersonating people? Ugh it was like The Thing or something! It had to be Silas, but how? Why?_

_Damon grimaced, just what I needed. Without a word he downed both glasses of bourbon and left the Grill to reconvene at the boarding house._

_He made it only a few steps out the Grill door before someone was upon him. As the blackness overtook his vision, his last thought was that he wished he had actually told Elena they had reconciled._

* * *

"Damon?" he heard the familiar voice call in the back of his mind. She was always calling him in his dreams and reality, so it was hard to tell.

Damon opened his eyes blearily. He was sprawled in an undignified manner on the floor of an unfurnished room somewhere. He had a splitting headache and his body groaned in protest when he attempted to sit up.

Elena was perched over him worriedly. She placed a dainty hand to his chest to halt his movement. "Don't try to get up just yet."

Damon thought she meant to still him to prevent himself from injuring himself further- _How did I hurt myself again, _he questioned himself- but then he noticed that the hand that had been placed carefully on his chest was now roaming it. She put some strength behind her caress and suddenly he was flat on his back again with Elena hovering over him. "Elena, wha-"

"Shush," she placed her index finger on his lips. She held his face between her palms as Damon struggled to regain his bearings. What was going on? Was this even real? It certainly seemed like the beginnings of one of his better dreams…

Damon looked into Elena's eyes distractedly as she continued to soothe him with gentle touches. _Her eyes look wrong_ was all Damon could conjure in his thoughts. Katherine's eyes were seductive and hardened, Elena's eyes were alit with passion and fire, but these eyes glinted with malicious intent that outshone even the Queen Petrova Bitch herself. This was definitely not Elena, or even a dream conjured one, but Damon struggled to label the figure above him as Katherine.

The hands that were touching him turned forceful and painful, and Damon found himself pinned as two stakes were driven through each of his hands. A sadistic grin lit up his captor's face immediately. No, Damon did not believe this was Katherine.

The stroking and evil were definitely pages in her playbook, but Katherine resonated purpose and sensuality- the person's aura reeked of unrestrained sadism and savagery. Katherine would tear you apart if you let her get her greedy little claws in you but never without reason. She would burn the world and ensnare every man into her net easily but not because she just wanted people to suffer. Damon liked to pretend that he did not get her, but he knew Katherine functioned out of self-preservation- and sometimes even loneliness Damon could admit if he was feeling generous, but he never felt that way towards Katherine anyway.

Katherine was a magnificent bitch but even as she tore his heart out she never exuded the pure glee that the person above him was oozing as Damon's body was turned into a pin cushion.

But if it was not Elena and it was not her psychotic twin then who the hell was it? What the hell was going on?

His captor had resumed his/her creepy exploration of his thankfully clothed body, maneuvering around the three stakes implanted in him easily. His captor almost seemed detached which made Damon think this was a decidedly disturbing tactic to unnerve him rather than lust, which made him think that there was no chance this person could not be Katherine at all. But who else looked like Elena?

The memories hit him with such painful impact that they relieved him of his breath in ways the stakes protruding from his body had not.

Immediately, Damon realized what was going on. He tensed but then forced himself to relax cockily.

"Is this supposed to get to me?" Damon smirked, "I've spent more time than ever needed around Katherine Pierce who loves to pull that same trick, and I actually know that under her seductive façade she's not a creepy old man like you so-"

Suddenly he gasped in pain of the unexpected wooden intrusion upsetting his poor stomach. "That was a little harsh," Damon gasped, "I was letting you down easy after all."

Damon looked up to the amused face of the late Professor Shane. "I don't handle rejection well," was all he said. He smiled peacefully at Damon belying his hand's violent, twirling motion that caused a ripple of agony to shoot through Damon's body. Silas breathed a light laugh "You like to think you're brave, don't you? But not being afraid here just means you're stupid."

"Well, you could look like anyone and you're masquerading as Professor Creepy. The only that scares me about you is your awful taste." Damon coughed and spat out blood.

"Really?" Silas humored him. "Well, perhaps this form would be better." He slowly spun around in a circle as Damon watched his features rearrange himself. When Silas stopped, Damon could not hold back the sharp intake of breath at the sight of those pale blue eyes glistening dangerously at him. The maniacal grin that split his lips to show the snow white teeth beneath just looked wrong.

It was probably because Damon had never seen that expression on himself when he looked in the mirror.

"You know who else might appreciate this appearance more? Your brother! Or even better, the most recent Petrova doppelganger! I think the two of them will just _love _it."

"Are you threatening me?"

Instantly, all traces of amicability were wiped off the stolen face leaving a more terrifying, serious expression. Or at least it should have been frightening, but Damon was so accustomed to being threatened at this point that he felt he sometimes had to _try_ to work up the appropriate survivalist response.

"I don't need to threaten you, Damon," Silas told him blankly, "I could destroy you and your loved ones without any effort. In fact, I could bring the doppelganger here easily and annihilate her in front of you using methods that despite all your assumed expertise on pain and torture, would have you gauging your eyes out just to escape the show. You're not on my level; you're not even close. You're just pawns in the greater game. The control, the freedom, the _security _you think you have is all in your mind."

Damon felt something akin to fear sliver up his spine. Seeing his reaction, Silas continued maliciously, "And what a dark, pathetic mind it is, isn't it, Damon? The truth is," Silas paused and leaned forward until Damon was staring into his own blue eyes from inches away, "Your fears are true. Everything you desperately run away from and deny even in your own head is inevitable. It doesn't matter what you do, whether you act the sinner or the saint, you're just unlovable. It's not your actions, it's just _you_. That's why you never measure up to Stefan in anyone's eyes: your father's, Katherine's, Elena's. They can't care for you because you're just as bad as you secretly know you are."

With a growl, Damon unthinkingly attempted to jump up from his place on the ground to get to Silas. Rage was coursing through him in waves, and there was pain there, too, but Damon chose not to focus on that. He could not. All his efforts were directed on hurting Silas as he hurt him,

His impulsive attack caused pain to ripple through him from the stake wounds, but what really angered him was the embarrassing ease with which Silas thwarted his attack.

Silas grinned down at him still utilizing Damon's own face, "Ah, the pain of heartbreak. I can relate."

"I doubt that," Damon grunted out. He prepared a quick sarcastic retort to remove the infuriating pleasure coloring Silas'- _his _– face but paused at the contemptuous look Silas was giving him.

"You have no idea just how _closely related _we are, Damon. We could almost be brothers." At this, Silas started laughing. Damon knew instinctually that it was at his expense, and he was somehow missing something important, but Silas' true meaning behind the nonsensical words escaped him. "And because of our closeness, I'm going to graciously give you a chance to fix your mistake. Bring me Qetsiyah's descendent and a new cure."

For a moment, Damon's pain-addled brain refused to connect the dots. _Who the fuck is Qetsiyah? And how the hell am I supposed to make another cure for vampirism? It was just a fluke that there was one at all in the first place._

Maybe Damon would have asked those questions. Or more likely he would have told The Thing to go screw himself.

But Silas was gone before he could refocus.

* * *

Elena was pacing in the Salvatore boarding house parlor impatiently. She was torn between rage and worry. She was so infuriated that Damon was taking so long when he knew that there was a threat… which lead to the worry that Silas was the reason he was taking so long.

The funny thing about Damon was he was equally likely to be taking action against whatever most recent supernatural being was tormenting Mystic Falls as he was to be propped up on a bar seemingly without a care. But Elena knew that was not what was going on here. Damon may _act _careless in the face of danger, but he would never run off during a crisis and leave her to worry. Elena paused in her thoughts. _Wait, that's a lie. He would and has before. _Elena thought of how she had to find out through Stefan that Damon was dying of Tyler's werewolf bite or how he sped off to lure the hybrid away from her back in Tennessee. Damon worried her all the time, but that came from the fact that he did not account for himself as someone worth worrying over.

But this was different. She spoke to him, he knew she was worried, and he was on his way- or should be. Elena could not shake the faint doubt that pierced her mind.

Elena gave him thirty minutes before she ran out the door to the Mystic Grill.

When she arrived, the first thing she noticed was the blue Camaro she would recognize anywhere. The second was the disoriented vampire leaning against it smearing his blood on the paintjob.

"Damon, what the hell is going on?"

He looked up at her somewhat blearily and smirked, "Just a little R and R before the long drive home. You know what they say about driving after a billion year old psychopath stabs you repeatedly." Elena glared at him dumbfounded. She really should not be surprised after everything, but sometimes the things she witnessed still made her want to bang her head against a wall. "So can we take your car? I don't want the blood to stain the upholstery for the third time this month."

After listening to Damon briefly explain what happened, Elena wasted no time calling everyone. Caroline and Stefan were already at home waiting for Damon and Elena to return.

"Call Bonnie," Damon said from his place in the passenger side. He was tapping his fingers against the armrest distractively, "She needs to be there, too."

"I don't want to bother her what with everything that's happened to her recently," Elena admitted. Bonnie was one of the strongest people Elena knew, but she had gone through so much recently with Professor Shane and the whole brainwashing thing. Besides, Bonnie was still human and fragile. All it would take was a quick snap of Silas' wrist, and she would be gone for good like Elena's parents, Aunt Jenna, Uncle John, and Alaric. _And Jeremy, _Elena tried to remind herself, to face reality, but it was still too painful to think about, so she forced the thoughts aside.

"She needs to be there for the team pow wow," Damon responded looking out the window.

"I don't want her involved," Elena replied less patiently than she hoped. She still had not forgotten her fight with Damon even if other matters had taken precedence, and it chafed her self-control.

Damon laughed humorlessly, "She's already involved, trust me." At her questioning look, Damon added, "I left out some of the details of what Silas said, but believe me, there's no way Glinda is staying out of this."

"Oh, so now you don't tell me everything, is that it?" Elena snapped.

Damon did not even look at her. "I only want to explain it once to everyone."

Elena pursed her lips but said nothing as she dialed Bonnie's number putting more force into pushing the buttons than normal. Bonnie was worried and understanding; she agreed to come immediately without complaint.

Elena hesitated a moment after hanging up before starting to dial again. That got Damon's attention away from the boring Mystic Falls scenery he sees daily.

"Who are you calling? There's no one left from the Hero Squad."

"I'm calling Matt to invite him over."

"_Matt Donovan? _Why?" Damon asked incredulously.

"He deserves to be included. He needs to know what's going on, this affects him, too."

"This affects the whole world, but you don't see me calling every little John and Jane, do you? Hey, While you're at it, why don't you give the Hybrid Overlord and Barbie Klaus a ring since at least they could be useful- if they don't kill us first," Damon concluded thoughtfully.

"Don't be so hard on Matt. He's been very helpful to me through all this before. Some days I don't know what I'd do without him."

Damon pulled a face at that. "Yeah, he's great as moral support, but what could he possibly contribute to this meeting? Four immortal vampires, a witch, and- wait, who's that? The busboy! Oh, thank god he's here to contribute. And what's his greatest ability you say? Oh, well, he is one of the best quarterbacks to ever hit rural Virginia." Damon paused pretending to contemplate Matt's usefulness. "I suppose we could use him as a distraction for Silas. Matt Donovan's so obviously useless that it could confuse Silas enough to give him pause. All warfare _is _based on deception after all."

Elena ignored the commentary as she waited for Matt to pick up. Damon would never understand that it was not about whether or not Matt could lift a school bus or whether or not he could set things on fire with his mind, Matt was needed simply because he was Matt. Secretly, Elena thought that Damon liked Matt more than he let on but stubbornly chose to ignore any feelings beyond disdain. Damon acted that way about Bonnie, Caroline, and- Elena's mind stuttered momentarily over the name- Jeremy, so why would Matt be any different?

Matt was done with his shift at the Grill and was en route by the time the call disconnected. Elena heard Damon mutter "what a relief that the Quarterback is coming" from beside her, but her thoughts had drifted in a new direction.

Damon liked to ruin things for himself before he even gave them a chance; he was the most self-destrictive person Elena had ever met. Not too long ago, she had misunderstood that self-destruction and his capability of rising above it, but she knew that he still felt the need to draw away when he sensed he was caring too much. And she knew why. He did not believe he deserved such simple comforts like friendship and love. He pretended he did not care with everyone out of some misguided self-torturing plan. Was that what he was doing with her, why he kept fighting her at every turn since her humanity came back? Why would he do that now when the sire bond was gone, her humanity was back, and they could finally be together? It made no sense, but Elena found that "Damon logic" did not always appeal to her sense of reason.

As Elena pulled into the Salvatore boarding house driveway, she was left with two sureties. One, that Damon was driving her away out of some ridiculous sense of self-preservations. Two, she was not going to let him get away with it again.

* * *

**So I'm so sorry about the lateness of this chapter (and that it's a little shorter than usual, I just wanted to get it out)! Next update should be way quicker. ****I'm in China, working an internship with limited and censored internet. That's why this is so late. I'm 100% not giving up on this and it will be finished.**

**Also, I once read this fic that was pre-Klaus' appearance on the show that had such an abysmal portrayal of his character that I was hesitant to post any Silas scenes until after the finale. But then China and work got in the way and here we are.**

**If anyone still cares, let me know!**


	18. Enemy Mine Said the Motley Crew

_**Brace For Impact**_

"_Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much"_

**-Helen Keller**

* * *

**Enemy Mine Said the Motley Crew**

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Brief Recap:_

_Matt was done with his shift at the Grill and was en route by the time the call disconnected. Elena heard Damon mutter "what a relief that the Quarterback is coming" from beside her, but her thoughts had drifted in a new direction._

_Damon liked to ruin things for himself before he even gave them a chance. He did not believe he deserved such simple comforts like friendship and love. He pretended he did not care with everyone out of some misguided self-torturing plan. Was that what he was doing with her, why he kept fighting her at every turn since her humanity came back? Why would he do that now when the sire bond was gone, her humanity was back, and they could finally be together? It made no sense, but Elena found that "Damon logic" did not always appeal to her sense of reason._

_As Elena pulled into the Salvatore boarding house driveway, she was left with two sureties. One, that Damon was driving her away out of some ridiculous sense of self-preservations. Two, she was not going to let him get away with it again._

* * *

The first thing he noticed was that there were too many cars packed in the Salvatore Boarding House driveway.

Damon stopped the car outside and observed suspiciously. "Well, let's see," he turns his head and begins counting on his fingers with overdone confusion. "There's the Wicked Witch of the West, that's one, and Vampire Cheerleader, that's two, and of course," he shudders melodramatically, "Quarterback brings it to three. Stefan's car is inside the garage and mine is here obviously. Why are there two others?"

Elena was peering at one of the foreign cars intently. "I know that car," she admitted. "But you're just not going to like who it belongs to."

Damon used his hearing to listen in on any conversations inside the house and went rigid when he realized who the two uninvited party guests were. "You have got to be kidding me."

Damon and Elena walked through the door without knocking, and everyone assembled inside turned to them with varying expressions of surprise and irritation. _It's my house_, Damon thought annoyed, _they act like I'm the one who shouldn't be here._

"You know," Damon said turning to Elena with a scowl, "I was not actually speaking seriously when I said we should invite the crazy twosome with a penchant for torturing me."

Rebekah scoffed from her relaxed place sitting across the room. Her arms thrown over the back of the couch and she looked the very picture of comfort to Damon. _In my house_. "That was one time, darling. Surely you're not still holding a grudge. If anyone should be mad, it should be me with you. After all, you did just steal the cure from me."

"Stole the cure," Damon spoke slowly, emphasizing each word differently as if he were trying to discern the meaning somehow. "Hmm, interesting perspective. I remember that a little differently. But they do say the memory is the first to go and you're like ancient, Blondie Bex."

"Well," she drawled standing up, "The perks of being that old outweigh my memory issues. You know, I must be so old because I'm forgetting what exactly they are. Greater strength than you? Greater speed than you? Oh, and maybe the ability to kick your ass? Yeah, since I can't remember, let's test it, shall we?"

Damon was not sure if he were up to another billion year old, immortal creature kicking the crap out of him. Once per day was plenty, thank you very much. Luckily, the other billion year old, immortal creature chimed in with amusement.

"Oh, little sister, don't pretend the quest to become human was not another one of your whims that fade quickly."

"I wouldn't know how quickly they would fade, would I, Nik? You always ruin everything before I could ever enjoy them!"

"As much as I need more family drama in my life," Damon cut in throwing a glance at an exasperated Stefan, "Why don't you take your issues to Jerry Springer and get the hell out of my house."

Stefan seamlessly intervenes, "Damon, I called Rebekah-"

And Caroline adds because these two cannot help but finish each others' sentences nowadays, "-And I called Klaus-"

"Because she has as much of a reason to want to bring Silas down as we do-"

"And Klaus could actually help us here, it's not as if he wasn't already trying to kill him."

"Yes, great, because working with them has never come back and bitten us in the ass before," Damon sneered sarcastically. He looked around at the people congregated for agreement. He found none. "Oh, come on!"

Bonnie spoke up tiredly from her position on a chair by the fireplace. She didn't look at him, or anyone, "I don't like it either, but I want Silas gone. He's the greater evil now. If I had it my way, I would never have anything to do with Silas ever again."

Damon laughed awkwardly in an obviously fake way, "Yeah, about that…"

Elena grabbed at his arm when he did not continue. Her nails dug into his skin through his shirt and she spoke furiously and fiercely. It was actually kind of hot but probably only because Elena was doing it. It would be annoying as hell if Katherine or Rebekah did it.

"You said that there was no way Bonnie was going to stay out of it in the car. That Silas said something to make you think that. Tell us."

Damon glanced at Bonnie as Elena spoke. He almost expected Bonnie to deflate upon hearing that yet another unkillable thing wanted her for some reason, it would make sense after everything she had gone through lately. Instead, Bonnie straightened up and seemed to grow angry at the revelation.

_Good. _"So Bonnie is Qetsiyah's descendent, and Qetsiyah is the original woman scorned who cursed Silas and killed his other woman or whatever, everyone knows that though, right?" At the blank stares from everyone but Bonnie who was there when Professor Creepy admitted she was related to Qetsiyah, Damon nodded, "Okay, great, glad we're on the same page."

"Just keep going, Damon," Elena said beside him with a nudge.

"Right, so when Silas grabbed me and then proceeded to threaten me and poke me full of holes," He watched as everyone took in the information. Rebekah smirked, and Stefan raised his eyebrows and sighed as if this were so hard on him. Klaus had the audacity to laugh loudly at the prospect of his pain. But it was Klaus and completely unsurprising.

"Well, Silas told me to bring him Qetsiyah's descedent, i.e. you, Bonnie, and a new cure for vampirism. I got the feeling that he wants you to lower the veil to the Other Side, so he can reunite with his one true not Qetsiyah love. And also bring back all the thousands upon millions of really pissed off supernatural creatures in the process."

Bonnie shot to her feet to exclaim, "I can't do that!"

"That's okay, Glinda, we don't need to go into your moral highground, we all know you're the goodliest witch in the world," Damon drawls sarcastically.

Bonnie sent him an irritated glare, "I meant I actually can't. I don't have access to any of Qetsiyah spells. My grimoire doesn't even go back as far as Esther! I wouldn't even know where to begin making a new cure or lifting the barrier to the Other Side. Don't you think I would have cured my mom, Elena, and Caroline by now if I could? I can't do it."

"It's okay," Stefan said comfortingly as he placed a hand on Bonnie's shoulder, "No one is expecting you to."

"Except Silas," Damon injects, "I got the feeling that he really_, really _expects you to."

"That's not helping," Elena spoke with a shove. "Bonnie," she turns to address her friend, "We'll figure it out. No one will be bringing down the veil to the Other Side, especially not you. Right, guys?"

"If I'm to choose between getting Silas out of my business for good or saving the Bennett witch," Klaus' voice cuts in arrogantly, "Well, let's just say I'm not too attached to the latter idea."

"And, see this? This is why we don't invite you to the parties," Damon retorts.

"Klaus! You are not killing my best friend. Could everyone like cool it with their murderous tendencies for just a second!" Caroline's face is flushed and angry as it usually is whenever Damon sees her. Of course, for once, it is not directed towards him, so he was okay with that. "We need a plan. A plan that for once doesn't involve too much murder and dying, okay? Like the only one who should be dying is Silas. No one else!"

"Well," Klaus begins indulgently, "I may have a few other ideas."

For the next hour, they sat around formulating a plan in between yelling at each other. Until right after Damon decided that the only way to escape the singular misery of this crack team was to fling himself off the nearest building, they decided what to do.

* * *

Elena glared at Damon from her perch on his bed. They were probably going to die soon and probably should be focusing on that, but if Elena let that get in the way of her relationships, she would have no friends or lovers. The prospect of her imminent demise grew less and less frightening as it became more and more frequent.

But nothing lightened the fear of her loved ones dying for her. It was every bit as terrifying as it was that day under Wickery Bridge when she held her father's hand for the last time.

The point was she had learned not to allow the likelihood that she would never see another morning take away from things like her love life. In fact, she normally viewed it as a reason to deal with her personal problems sooner.

"Are we going to talk about how stupid you're being?" Elena's voice succeeded in startling Damon out of the alcohol-induced daze he was so fond of putting himself in.

Damon glared at her balefully, "Do we really have the time to do that? I mean if we talked about it every time you thought I was being stupid, then we'd never stop talking about it."

"Well, we don't need to talk about all the many incidents, just the most recent one." Elena took a shuddering breath and decided to be as blunt as possible. More often than not, Damon would talk around his feelings as long as he could and then make an excuse to run away before saying anything worthwhile. "We could talk about how you're acting like an idiot every time I even try to talk to you about what we are now, or, god forbid, kiss you."

Damon stared at her for a long moment with a pained expression. "Look, Elena, I get it. You don't have to pretend to feel the same way about me."

Elena's eyebrows shot up at his response. She crossed her arms angrily, "'Pretend' to feel?" Elena gasped outraged, "You don't get to tell me what I do or don't feel! Only I can do that!"

Of course, her anger only made Damon infuriated as well. "That's right, I don't. But _you _already did tell me, many times. Trust me, the message was received loud and clear."

He wanted to blame this all on her, but Elena knew the truth, and she was not going to let him get away with it. No more running. Not anymore. "Why don't you just admit what this is really about, Damon? You're still scared. You're running from everything because you think you're unworthy, and it could never happen to you. Well, it is. I don't care about who thinks you deserve what. I love you, I've loved you for longer than I could admit, and I love you so much that I'm willing to fight your stupid, stubborn ass on this over and over again. You know why? Because it doesn't matter if anyone thinks you're undeserving, I can't think of someone who I'd rather love every day and night of eternity. So get that through your thick skull and accept it! Because I'm not going anywhere, and I'll make sure you're not going anywhere either."

"What?" Damon blurted surprised, but he did not get a chance to say anything more because suddenly his mouth as otherwise engaged and there was no time or desire for talking.

Elena had crushed her lips against Damon. She wound her hands up his back to nestle into his hair from the nape of his neck. He returned her passion devouring her lips with even more force. Desiring to get closer, one of them- maybe both of them- hitched Elena's legs around Damon's waist locking him to her. He supported her weight and even began smiling against her lips.

Abruptly, she had to break away because both of them were grinning like fools. She let out a giggle before she could stop herself and was shocked to hear that sound coming from her. She would have thought not too long ago that she was no longer capable of such carefree giddiness.

"What?" She asked cheekily. "Not afraid of the big bad vampire? Who knows? Maybe I'll take a bite," she quipped as she playfully nipped at his throat.

"I'm shaking," he smirked.

"You should be," she whispered into his ear softly and seductively, "Because I'm very dangerous."

"Yes, you are. And I'm tasty, so where does that leave us?"

"I believe," she drawled, pretending to contemplate before she swooped back in to place a kiss at the corner of his mouth and speak against his lips, "right where we left off."

Elena was fine with that.

* * *

**Yeah, so long time, no see. I've been really busy. Like very busy. And I'm writing a book now, so there's that.**

**Plus every time I post a chapter, I get like 10 more unfollows and unfavorites. It made me a little depressed and unmotivated to be honest.**

**I know this is short, but I really wanted everyone to know that I'm not giving up. Besides, this is more of a setup for what's to come. Oh, and fyi that's not the end of the last scene… **


End file.
